


Hate That I Love You

by SuJuX1sTrash



Category: Apink, BLACKPINK (Band), IZONE (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), Super Junior, TWICE (Band), UP10TION, VICTON (Band), X1 (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS, 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD
Genre: Best Friends, Developing Friendships, F/F, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2020-10-28 17:09:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 74,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20782139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuJuX1sTrash/pseuds/SuJuX1sTrash
Summary: His name is Han Seungwoo and I hate everything about him.I hate that he’s the guy who has it all. I hate that he’s got a chiseled face and a god-like body to match it. Hate that his mouth is sometimes like it’s made from honey, sweet and tempting – a constant torture to my poor mind. Hate that everything that comes out of it, either words being spoken or lyrics being sung, is too sweet for anyone’s sanity – especially mine. Hate that he’s an effortless social butterfly who attracts people easily, but doesn’t leave the socially awkward me behind.I hate that despite being polar opposites in every aspect in our lives, he doesn’t really seem to care about it. Because I am his friend. And the thing that I hate the most about him, is that I love him. I love him despite being only a friend to him. It breaks my heart and that’s why I hate that I love you, Han Seungwoo.- Park Yoonhye





	1. Hate That I Love You - 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It's my first time writing in years again so please bear with me. I'll try to make it as few chapters as I can. I just can't help but write a fic about Seungwoo because he's been slowly creeping up my bias list ever since his debut with X1.
> 
> P.S. Park Yoonhye is a totally fictional character. I just put a name for the female lead instead of putting a "___" in my story, just so I won't have a hard time writing it.
> 
> ENJOY!

** **

**Hate That I Love You - 1**

**by:**

**SuJuX1'sTrash**

His name is Han Seungwoo and I hate everything about him.

I hate that he’s the guy who has it all. I hate that he’s got a chiseled face and a god-like body to match it. Hate that his mouth is sometimes like it’s made from honey, sweet and tempting – a constant torture to my poor mind. Hate that everything that comes out of it, either words being spoken or lyrics being sung, is too sweet for anyone’s sanity – especially mine. Hate that he’s an effortless social butterfly who attracts people easily, but doesn’t leave the socially awkward me behind. 

I hate that despite being polar opposites in every aspect in our lives, he doesn’t really seem to care about it. Because I am his friend. And the thing that I hate the most about him, is that I love him. I love him despite being _only_ a friend to him. It breaks my heart and that’s why I hate that I love you, Han Seungwoo.

_\- Park Yoonhye_

**“What’s going on?” **someone pulled my earplugs and I automatically closed my notebook.

I looked back at him, knowing full well that the person who disrupted my train of thoughts is also the one who consisted them in the first place.

**“Ya! Han Seungwoo!” **I plastered an annoyed look on my face, despite feeling not one bit annoyed at him.

He sat down beside me and placed the earbuds he removed from my ear into his. **“You’re writing again.” **

It wasn’t even a question. He knows that when I’m listening to some classical music, it means that I’m writing.

**“Yes. After having a writer’s block for a few weeks, I’m finally writing again.” **I smacked my notebook onto his head, hoping what I just wrote – _my feelings_ – will reach him. I almost grimaced at that thought. **“But then you had to go and ruin the moment.”**

**“Ow!” **Seungwoo said as he massaged the top of his head and winced. I didn’t hit him that hard, but considering the thickness of my notebook and it being hardbound, it was still enough to cause a little bit of pain to him.

_Nothing compared to how much hurt my heart has experienced throughout the years._

**“That notebook of yours can be a lethal weapon it should be banned.” **He squinted his eyes at me and then to my notebook.

Instinct and self-preservation has me hiding my notebook immediately – inside my shirt.

Seungwoo’s eyes squinted some more as he looked at you suspiciously.

**“Hmm.” **He said as he put his hands on his chin, as if thinking of something way off. **“Are you writing some racy stories now?”**

That earned him a punch to the shoulder from me. **“Yah! Han Seungwoo! What do you think of me?” **

**“I think you’re a great best friend. And that, sometimes, I think you could be a serial killer in hiding.” **Seungwoo smiled sheepishly after saying the last words.

I made a face at him. **“I think the sun has fried your brain. Would you like me to buy one for you?”**

**“Can you add some mustard and ketchup to that?” **He snickered at his own joke.

**“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” **I clapped mockingly.

He suddenly shifted positions. Seungwoo was suddenly lying down with his head on my thighs – thank God I don’t wear shorts! – and the movement caused the earphone attached to my ear to fall off.

**“Oops! Sorry ‘bout that.” **Seungwoo picked up the fallen earphone and put it back to my ear.

_‘I also hate that he can effortlessly make my heart race without him knowing.’ _I made a mental note to add that to the list of things I hate about him as I feel my heart speeding up because of what he just did.

**“Let me sleep here for a while, Yoonhye. I stayed up late last night ‘coz I had to study.”** He crossed his arms above his chest and closed his eyes.

**“Well, you didn’t have to stay up late if you studied weeks before the Finals and not the day before it.” **I reminded him. He has this habit of putting off work he can do today for tomorrow.

**“Hush, _Mom._ Your son is trying to get some sleep.” **And then he didn’t say anything anymore.

Seungwoo’s breathing relaxed and after a few minutes, I knew he fell asleep.

I looked at our surroundings. We were in the fields of the school grounds. I can see some students playing soccer in the center, some running around the tracks while some were practicing high jumping. The school’s annual sports fest was coming so everyone’s practicing for the games that are about to be held. I should be practicing right now as well, for archery, but I don’t think I’ll be able to go to the practice hall anytime soon since there’s this guy sleeping on my lap like it’s his favorite pillow. He even turned sideways, towards me, and readjusted himself before resuming his sleep.

My phone suddenly rang and I hurriedly answered it so that I won’t disturb Seungwoo.

**“Hello?”** I asked.

**“Yoonhye, where are you? Coach is looking for you.”** One of my teammates for the archery team in our department said on the other line.

I looked down at the still sleeping Han Seungwoo and hurriedly made an excuse that I can’t come to practice today.

**“Sorry but I can’t come today. Can you just cover for me?”**

I heard Yuri sigh from the other line. **“Is _he_ with you?”**

Even without hearing the name of the _he_ she was referring to, I knew exactly who she was talking about.

**“Eung(Yes). So, please just cover for me this one time, ne?”**

**“Fine. But just this once, okay? We need to practice. The nursing department has this new ace they’re talking about. We can’t lose to them. Not this year when it’s gonna be our triple crown for the archery competition, and our last competition before we graduate.”**

I chuckled. **“Okay. Okay. I’ll make sure to practice on my own somehow, just so that we can get that _Triple Crown_ you’ve always wanted.”**

**“See yah around! Make _him_ fall for you! Mwah!”** _toot toot toot_

Yep. Yuri is also a close friend of mine. She knows that I am in love with Seungwoo. She also knows that I hate how much I love him.

**“Triple crown, huh?”** Suddenly, Seungwoo got up and stretched his arms.

**“How was your sleep, dear _son_?”**

**“Pretty good when you’re not trying to lecture me.”** He suddenly put his arms on my shoulder. I tried my best not to tense up since I should be used to him doing this to me all the time – all part of being his _best friend._ **“Plus, your things are as soft as my pillows at home.” **The man even had the gall to pinch my cheeks before standing up.

I looked up at him. _I just hate how I look up at him and the sun shines even brighter behind him._ New note. **“Where are you going?”**

**“Practice. I joined futsal this year.”** Seungwoo said as he offered me his hand.

I looked at him and raised my brows, not quite believing him. **“You? Joined the futsal team? After not playing for most of our college lives?”**

**“Well, it’s not like I stopped playing outside of school. Plus, our team sucks. Hangyul and Seungyeon can’t even lift up their heads when you girls from the archery team are around.”**

I laughed as I took his hand to stand up.

**“Well, sometimes when you have an ace like me and Yuri, it’s hard to lose.” **I shrugged my shoulders as if it wasn’t that big of a deal.

**“Yeah well, the soccer team now has an amazing and good-looking ace. So this time, I bet there’ll be a turn of the tides.” **He said as he posed, showing off his amazing jawline.

I rolled my eyes. _Do not drool. I repeat. Do not drool!_

**“Keep on dreaming, Han Seungwoo.”** I pushed him and picked up my things. I removed my notebook from inside my shirt and immediately put it inside my bag.

**“What’s so important about that notebook of yours?”** He asked, eyeing my bag – which I held onto very tightly.

**“Nothing you’ll ever know.”** I stuck my tongue out and ran away.

**“One day, Yoonhye, one day I’ll know the contents of that notebook of yours!”** He shouted towards my way as he ran towards me.

**“You can try.”** I stuck my tongue out and ran even faster as he chased me, making sure that I won’t drop my bag like it’s my lifeline.

I watched his practice, which was thankfully in the other building and not in the same building as where my archery practice is being held. Girls from around the school probably heard that _‘God Seungwoo’ _of the Medical Department finally joined futsal this year, so they were very crowded in the practice hall despite it only being a practice.

**“God Seungwoo! God Seungwoo!”**

**“Seungyeonie Oppa! Fighting!”**

**“Lee Hangyul-ssi! I wanna call you Oppa but I’m 2 years older than you!”**

**“OMG! The Holy Trinity of the Medical Department all in one place!”**

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at what I’m hearing. I just wanted to plug my earphones in and shut everything out.

I was about to pull out my earphones from my bag when someone sat beside me.

**“Hey, Noona.”** It was Kim Yohan, from the same department. I think he’s classmates with Hangyul. I don’t really know him that much aside from him always participating and winning in the Taekwondo competition. I heard he was offered to become part of the National Taekwondo Team, but he declined saying that being a doctor is what he dreams of.

**“Hey, Yohan. How was practice?”** I asked just to make a friendly conversation. I didn’t wanna sound rude.

He smiled. **“It’s okay. Same old same old.”**

**“No injuries this time?”** I asked, recalling that Hangyul once told me that Yohan injured his left foot last time.

**“Nope. Wouldn’t wanna give up the title to another department this year.”**

**“That’s good.”** My thoughts drifted from our conversation and onto the playing field when Seungwoo scored a goal.

They were playing 4-on-4. Seungwoo, Seungyeon and Hangyul along with a freshman with fluffy cheeks I haven’t met are teamed up together. While the others, I have completely no idea who they are. I only know Seungyeon and Hangyul because they are close friends with Seungwoo, so I guess I can be forgiven for not being able to name the rest of the team.

**“I guess Hyung is really playing this year.”** Yohan said as he looked at the field as well.

**“Looks like he really is.”**

And the cheers erupted once more as Seungwoo’s team scored another goal.


	2. Hate That I Love You - 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate that he can move his body in fluid motion, while I'm a major disaster. I hate that his scent is like a drug. One whiff and I’m possessed. I hate that even when he jokes about things, they makes my heart skip a beat. How I hate that he can turn my mind into a wreck when he looks at me with serious eyes. I hate how he does things like taking care of me and watching out for me, but then ends up looking at another girl – because I’m just a friend to him. I hate that he’s overly caring whenever I injure myself, because it just comes back to one thing – I’m his best friend. I hate that everyone wants him. It makes me feel like a jealous girlfriend, which I have no right to feel in any way.
> 
> \- Park Yoon Hye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! So chapter 2 is up! Hopefully I can keep this rate of updating up! I just have so much angst right now, maybe because of hormones and Seungwoo is at the receiving end of it. HAHAHA. Anyway, hope you enjoy! ^^

**Hate That I Love You - 2**

**by:**

**SuJuX1'sTrash**

**“Unnie, can you please run in the relay game? We’re lacking one member and we really need someone who’s really fast.” **It was Jennie who came to me one day before the sports fest to ask me such a ridiculous request.

**“Jennie, why me?”**

**“Because we know you’re the fastest girl in our department.” **She pouted at you. I sighed and looked away from her pouting face. This girl definitely knows how to use her charm when she needs it.

Though she is right that I do run very fast, I’m still not confident with a relay, especially one with hurdles for the last runner – which I’ll surely be if I accept her request. I’m the great definition of what a clumsy person would be. Athletic as I may be, I’m not like Seungwoo who can move his body in fluid motion – and I hate that. _One more to the list._

**“Unnie, jebaaaalll~” **and she turned her pouting face and puppy eyes towards me.

I sighed in frustration.

**“Jennie, can’t you find someone else?”**

Jennie shook her head. **“You’re our only hope, Unnie.”**

_I just know I’m gonna regret this. _I groaned inwardly and agreed to run with them.

**“YAY! GOMAWO UNNIE!”** She squealed in delight and hugged me.

I just patted her arms that are squeezing me.

**“No problem. Just bring your big brother to the game. For inspiration.” **I joked. Jiyoung is a friend of my big brother, and I had sort of a crush on him when I was younger. Years passed and I just became fond of him.

**“Jiyoung Oppa? Okay unnie. But I doubt he’ll go alone. He’ll probably be with Dara Unnie.”**

**“It’s not a problem. I like seeing them together.” **I winked at her and then went on my way. I was on my way to practice when she suddenly blocked my path to ask me that question.

**“See you tomorrow, Unnie!” **She called after me as I waved my hand without turning back.

**“Why did I do that?” **I shook my head as I walked to our practice area.

**“What did you _do_?”** suddenly an arm was draped on my shoulder, and I immediately know who it is even if he hadn’t spoken.

**“I joined the relay team for our department.” **I told him.

**“You? Park Yoonhye? Joined the team relay competition?”** He looked at me with fake shock.

I elbowed him because of his reaction and the fact that he used my words on me.

**“Ya!” **His draped arm pulled me closer to him and I got the smell that same scent. Seungwoo’s own scent, one that his body created on its own that it’s hard to describe.

_I hate that his scent is like a drug. One whiff and I’m possessed. _There goes another one.

**“Can you please let me go so that I can go to practice?” **But instead of letting me go, Seungwoo pulled me even closer and now I am buried in his chest.

**“You know I**** can’t let go of my best friend. Don’t leave me~!” **He said dramatically and I pushed him away.

**“Ya, Han Seungwoo!” **He was smiling cheekily at me and I just sighed in exasperation before shaking my head. **“You’re crazy.”**

**“I know.” **Then he winked at me. **“Crazy for you.”**

_I hate that even when he jokes about things, they makes my heart skip a beat._

**“I don’t have money. Go away.”** I continued walking towards the elevator to the practice hall.

**“Don’t worry. My mom gave me allowance this week. I told her we’re going to celebrate after the sports fest.” **

**“Celebrate what? We haven’t even started competing yet.” **I said as I pushed the floor where I was going.

**“Well, you’re definitely gonna win it with your archery team. Then there’s our futsal team. And now, there’s the relay team. I guess I should’ve asked for more money.”**

**“Han Seungwoo, stop scamming your mom. Your not gonna celebrate with me. I know you’ll be celebrating with that freshman girl from the Nursing Department.” **I gave him a knowing look, and he just scratched the back of his head.

**“How did you know?”**

**“I’m your best friend. Of course I know. Plus I think I heard somewhere that she’s the reason why you joined the futsal team this year. To show off.” **

The elevator door opened and I turned towards the practice room.

**“I wanted to make memories, not show off.” **But his sheepish smile says otherwise.

**“You can sell that to other people, but not to me.” **I placed my hand on the door know, but he held my hand before I can even turn it.

I looked back at him, trying my best not to drown in his pool of dark eyes. _How I hate that he can turn my mind into a wreck when he looks at me with serious eyes._

**“I heard there’s gonna be a hurdle for the last runner of the relay team. Don’t run last.” **He said before letting my hand go and turning back to where we came from.

No one’s allowed to watch our practice, so that we can focus solely on our shooting. But after Seungwoo’s sudden seriousness earlier, all my shots were dismal. They were 5s and 7s. One of my shots even went out of the board. Zero. I put my head down as the coach told me to rest and reminded me to stay focused tomorrow.

**“That was awful.” **I told Yuri after practice.

She nodded at me. **“Yeah. That’s like the worst you’ve done since forever. Why were you so distracted?”**

_It’s because of the look Seungwoo gave me earlier that threw me off balance. _But I didn’t tell her that and just smiled and bid our goodbyes.

Of course the next day, I wasn’t given the chance to choose which position I was running in for the relay. Despite Seungwoo’s warning about not running last, I had no choice since everyone was younger than me – and aside from the fact that they all looked so scared of the hurdles – I had to do it.

So here I am, warming up by the tracks and praying to God that I won’t be so unlucky.

**“I thought I told you not to run last?” **I looked back to see a very serious Seungwoo.

**“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” **My eyes widened when he knelt before me and tied my shoelaces out of the blue.

**“Oooh~” **I heard some students say when the saw what Seungwoo was doing.

**“Han Seungwoo. What are you doing? Get up!” **I tried pulling him up, but he wouldn’t budge.

**“I’m just making sure your laces won’t come loose when you’re running.” **He took one last look at his handiwork before getting up.

**“Yes, _Dad. _Don’t worry. I won’t get hurt.” **I patted his shoulder and smiled at him.

Seungwoo playfully messed with my hair. **“You better make sure of that. Fighting!”** He said with a gesture of good luck and went to the bleachers when he sat with the rest of the futsal team. I finally know all of their names:

  * Seungwoo
  * Seungyeon
  * Hangyul
  * Minhee
  * Eunsang
  * Junho
  * Hyeongjun
  * Dohyun

When he sat down, his teammates pointed him to somewhere and my eyes immediately went to the same direction. And there I saw the girl in the rumors around campus. The nursing freshman who was supposedly the reason why Seungwoo joined the futsal competition this year.

I looked back at Seungwoo and I saw him smile towards that direction.

**“Unnie, please don’t burn holes into Seungwoo Oppa.” **I immediately turned around to see Lisa smiling at me.

**“Why would you think that?” **I asked as I turned away and re-tied my shoelaces, just so I can vent my frustration into something.

_I hate how he does things like taking care of me and watching out for me, but then ends up looking at another girl – because I’m just a friend to him. _New one.

Everyone was called to line up. We all did our team cheers and the first runners went to the their positions. The horn sounded and they were off. Our team was in the lead. Lisa was fast. She then passed the baton to Jisoo, we lost a bit of advantage but it’s still okay. Then Rosé was next, I almost groaned when we were overtaken by the Nursing Department. Next comes Jennie, who was surprisingly a fast runner. I readied myself and positioned in my lane.

**“Hi, Unnie. Please take care of me.”** It was the freshman from earlier.

_Kill me._ I suddenly remembered how Seungwoo smiled at her direction earlier. It might be impossible, but I have to beat her. At least in this game, I beat her.

As soon as I received the baton, I started running as fast as I can. I knew I had to catch up to her, thankfully the hurdles was giving her a hard time so I was able to catch up a little.

I wasn’t really paying attention to the announcers when I heard that my shoelaces became undone.

_Crap! Why did I not tie these laces properly?_

I continued running, we were almost by the finish line. We were neck and neck. I prayed to God that I won’t trip on my shoelaces.

_You have to win!_ I told myself and as the final sprint came, we crossed the finish line. I tried stopping my momentum, but that was when I stepped on my shoelaces that came undone. It all happened so fast, I only know that I rolled forward and now I’m lying in my back – shocked at what just happened.

People gathered around me and asked me whether I was okay.

**“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” **I said panting. I closed my eyes as I tried to catch my breath.

I opened my eyes when I remembered something, **“So, who won?” **I asked the people surrounding me.

**“We won.”** I looked to my right and saw a very serious Seungwoo, he even had a frown on his face. As if on cue, most of the people who surrounded me left my side. Only the coach and two medical team members were left.

**“Well, that’s good.” **I said and laughed. I could finally hear the cheers of the people around me.

**“Let’s go.” **Seungwoo said, he still has this serious look on his face as he offered his hand to help me get up.

I placed my right hand to hold his when I suddenly felt a searing pain in my wrist. I winced and held it with my left hand.

**“You okay?” **His previously serious face was now marred with worry. He knelt down and held my hand. **“What’s wrong with your hand?”**

**“I think I twisted it when I tried to catch myself during the fall.” **I said as I held my hand ever so still. Seungwoo held my shoulders and helped me stand up.

**“Let’s go to the side and see what’s going on. **The medic said as we walked towards the bleachers.

I looked at my hand worriedly. **“We still have archery this afternoon. This can’t be happening.” **

**“You don’t have to worry about that. Just let the medical team look at your hand first.” **Seungwoo said, still holding my shoulders as we walked and helped me sat by one of the seats in the bleachers.

The man took my hand carefully and examined it. He tried to turn my hand in various directions very carefully, and I winced every single time he does it. I can feel Seungwoo’s hand squeezing my shoulder every time I wince. I know he’s trying to distract me so that I won’t feel that much pain and it works.

_I hate that he’s overly caring whenever I injure myself, because it just comes back to one thing – I’m his best friend._

**“You can’t play archery today. Your wrist could get worse.” **The medic said.

**“No.”** I immediately said and pulled my injured hand from the man. **“I have to, it’s our last year.” **

**“Are you really studying to become a doctor, Yoonhye? You know injuries left untreated become permanent.” **Seungwoo gave me a stern look. **“I’ll tell coach you won’t be able to participate in the archery competition.”**

He made a move to stand up, but I tried to stop him – of course I forgot that I have an injured wrist in my right hand so I winced once more because of the movement.

**“Ya, you fool! Stop aggravating it!” **I looked at him dumbfounded. He held my hand ever so carefully, trying his best not to nudge my injured wrist.

The medic handed Seungwoo an icepack covered with a cloth and he applied it onto my wrist. I flinched when I felt the cold touch my skin. It was a contrast to how warm his hands holding mine are.

**“You’re not playing. That’s final.” **He said with finality, but I will never give up on this one.

**“No. It’s my last year. I won’t allow our team to forfeit because of me.”**

**“Park Yoonhye.”**

**“Han Seungwoo.” **I said back at him.

I looked at him and showed him I was determined to play with or without his consent. It’s not like I’ll need his consent anyway, I’m just his friend. In the end, he just sighed.

**“You’re not gonna give up on this, are you?”** He asked in an exasperated tone.

I shook my head. **“Nope.”**

Seungwoo sighed once more before asking for a splint for my right hand. After the cold compress, he put on the splint for me.

**“Uhh, you’re gonna make someone jobless with what you’re doing.” **I told him and it’s like he didn’t hear anything.

**“You’re the one who’s gonna make someone jobless because of your hardheadedness.” **He still looks mad.

The medic guy stood up. **“I guess your boyfriend can handle it from here. I’ll be off.” **And he left even before I can clarify that Seungwoo wasn’t my boyfriend.

**“Let’s go.”** Seungwoo once again held my shoulders as I stood up.

**“Seungwoo-ya. I hurt my wrist, not my feet. I can walk on my own.”** But this guy wouldn’t budge. He still held my shoulders as we walked side by side – of course with every fangirl of his throwing daggers my way with their gaze.

_I hate that everyone wants him. It makes me feel like a jealous girlfriend, which I have no right to feel in any way._

We ate our lunch along with Hangyul, Seungyeon and Yohan.

**“Congratulations.”** I told Yohan, he won once again in Taekwondo. I think he’ll be great if he becomes a formal athlete and doing taekwondo not just as a hobby.

**“Thank you, Noona.”** He said back and smiled at me before looking at my hand. I noticed that everyone was looking at my splinted hand, except for Seungwoo who was busy cutting my meat into bite pieces.

**“Dude, I’m jealous. Take care of us like you take care of Yoonhye.”** Seungyeon said as he made a dive for my food, but Seungwoo blocked his hand.

**“You’re not injured. You’re not my best friend. And since when did you become close that you don’t call her ‘noona’?”** Seungwoo said as he finished cutting the meat.

**“It’s okay. You can talk to me in _banmal_ all you want. I’m not like this old guy here.”**

**“See?”** Seungyeon motioned to Seungwoo, but Seungwoo just shook his head.

**“Not when I’m around.”** He said with finality as he made a grab for my spoon.

**“I can do it. I still have my left hand, I’m ambidextrous remember?”** I said as I grabbed the spoon.

I shoved some rice into my mouth and got some meat.

**“How can I forget? That’s why you’re confident you can play archery with one injured hand.”** He started eating then he became quiet.

We finished eating and then I headed off to the building where the archery competition was going to be held.

**“Bye guys! Wish me luck!” **I said as I almost waved my right hand, but Seungwoo stopped me.

**“Why do you keep on wanting to injure your hand even more?”** He waved goodbye to them as well as they went their way.

**“You’re not going with them?” **I asked, because I know they’re supposed to have their practice this afternoon. The preliminary rounds will happen tomorrow afternoon, and then finals the day after.

**“I asked permission from coach that I’ll watch you play today.” **

**“And Coach Jaeseok allowed you to not attend practice today? For real?” **I asked, confused.

Seungwoo put his arm on my shoulders again and then ushered me towards the area for the archery competition. **“He knows I’m already good enough. No need to tire out the MVP of the team.”**

I elbowed him at that.

**“Park Yoonhye, you’re becoming brutal.”** He was overacting again as he held his side.

When we arrived, my team had worried looks on their faces.

**“Yoonhye, are you sure you can play? We can forfeit if you want. We wouldn’t wanna injure your hand even more.”** It was coach that said it, but I sighed because I know the man beside me has something to do with those lines. I can even feel him nodding since he still has his arms on my shoulders.

I removed his arm from me and told coach that I can still play.

**“I can do this coach. Just trust me. I’m ambidextrous.”**

_To be continued…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! See you next time! Don't forget to give some love! ^^


	3. Hate That I Love You - 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate that his dimples look so adorable, I always wanna poke them whenever they make an appearance. I hate that he is such a social butterfly, a complete contrast to socially awkward me. I hate that he’s always right about things. About how I should never aggravate an injury so that it won’t get worse. But I’m not sure that can also be applied to injuries of the heart. I hate that everything little he does, makes my heart skip a beat. I hate that his scent always makes me go insane a little more for him each time. I hate that whenever I hear him say that we’re best friends, my heart breaks a little more each time. I hate that his side profile looks as good as when you’re looking at his front, especially when he’s driving. It’s so unfair that he’s this good-looking!

**Hate That I Love You – 3**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’s Trash**

**“_Sunbaenim_, do you want me to play handicap with you?” **It was once again the freshman, who was rumored to be Seungwoo’s target, again.

Even though I felt so annoyed that we’re up against one another, again, I smiled at her. Can’t let her think I’m a rude _sunbae._

**“No need to do that. I’ll be fine. Let’s just do our best for our teams.”** I was saved from talking to her even more when Yuri called me.

**“Gotta go. Bye.”**

I almost sighed in relief when I reached Yuri.

**“Girl, you have to stop stressing yourself out.”** Yuri said, and I know she’s talking about the girl from earlier. I forgot her name.

**“She came to me.” **

**“Probably trying to psych you out. Don’t. You’ll be fine.”** And then she looked at my hand. **“I just hope your hand will be fine after all the strain you put it through.”**

We’ve passed the preliminary rounds and we’re now in the Finals. We’re up against the nursing department yet again. I saw how that freshman shoot, and I have to say she was good.

**“It’s fine.” **At least when the medicine didn’t wear off 10 minutes ago. Now I can feel it throbbing. Playing in the preliminary and semi-finals rounds had been exhausting. I’m just happy I haven’t shot anything lower than an 8 while playing with my other hand.

I sat down in the chairs and looked around where Seungwoo was currently seated. Our eyes met and he smiled.

_I hate that his dimples look so adorable, I always wanna poke them whenever they make an appearance._

He gave me a ‘Fighting’ gesture as he mouthed the words and that made me smile back at him. I know he’s still against me playing, but he’s still cheering me on. That’s enough for me to forget the pain in my hand. I smiled back at him.

He’s sitting beside Jinhyuk and Byungchan, his friends from the Engineering department and Wooseok from the Education Department.

_This is how much of a social butterfly he is, a complete contrast to socially awkward me. And I hate it._

The game started. Yuri was the first one up for our team. She’s against the girl from the nursing department named Nayeon. Our team is in the lead with 2 points.

Next up was Hyoyeon for us and Dahyun for the other team. Hyo made one bad shot and it put us behind the other team by 5 points. The scores now are 48 vs 53.

**“Sorry, Yoonhye.” **Hyo apologized, but I just smiled at her.

**“It’s okay. We still have 4 shots left. We can still win this.” **I said as I picked up my bow. **“Triple crown, right?”**

I flexed my fingers as I walked to my place. The girl from the nursing department, Tzuyu – I finally know her name, also went to her place. We bowed at one another and prepared ourselves.

She was up first. _10._

I took a deep breath and placed the arrow. I pulled the string back, closed one eye and aimed for the target. _10._

I released my breath and looked at the scores.

_58 vs 63_. Three shots left.

It’s either she makes a mistake, or I won’t be able to catch up despite me shooting 10s.

She takes a shot again. _9._

I try to block out all the noise as I take my shot. Any distraction is not good for me.

Deep breath. _10._

68 vs 72. Two shots left.

Tzuyu takes a shot again.

**“What a shocker! She shot a 7! This is her first lowest record since the preliminary rounds!” **I heard the MC say.

My hand’s starting to hurt more than the slight throb it felt earlier. I guess the pressure is adding to the pain. But I tried my best to block the pain out of my mind as I took another shot.

**“Ten! This is a triple 10 everyone! Triple 10 from the MVP of last year! And did you see how amazing that shot was? Her grace in archery never ceases to amaze me despite her injury!”**

_78 vs 79. _One last shot.

My opponent takes the last shot. 9!

**“This is amazing everyone! If player Park Yoonhye from the Medical Department scores another 10, it’ll be a tie and then we’ll have to go into the shoot-off tie breaker.”**

_Don’t screw this up!_

**“And the crowd goes wild as we head into the shoot-off!” **

_88 vs 88._

The shoot-off. Only one more arrow per archer. The one whose shot is closest to the center wins.

I clenched and unclenched my fist as the pain is more evident now. I tried rotating my wrist, and that’s when it happened. The searing pain came back, and almost let go of my bow as I winced in pain.

_I hate that he’s always right about things. About how I should never aggravate an injury so that it won’t get worse. But I’m not sure that can also be applied to injuries of the heart._

**“It seem like player Park Yoonhye is having a problem with her injured hand.”** I sighed as I waved off my team members and Coach Bae Yoonjeong.

**“I’m okay.” **I told the staff.

I placed the arrow into my bow. _Don’t let me down, please._

I always used my personal bow when competing, and I’ve never lost a competition before while using it.

Tzuyu shoots once again.

**“It’s an X-10! Oh my goodness! And it’s almost at the center!” **

The pain in my hand increased, and I absentmindedly looked at the crowd. My eyes widened as I saw Seungwoo standing along with his friends. Almost all of them were so tall – except for Wooseok – that they blocked the view of the person behind them. He nodded at me. I know he’s telling me I can do it.

That was enough to give me strength once again to hold my bow and pull the string. But no matter how strong Seungwoo’s support is, the pain was still there, and I almost let go of the arrow without aiming properly.

I knew time was running out for me. I only had a few seconds left to shoot my final arrow. If I hear the buzz of the timer again, it means that we have lost, and that I lost to my pain.

_No you won’t lose to it!_

I told myself as I looked at the clock. _8 seconds_. I pulled the string with all the strength I can gather aimed and shot the arrow.

**“What is this?! Did she miss?!” **I clearly heard the MC say. As I squinted my eyes onto my target, my arrow wasn’t there.

_No. It can’t be._

**“Did she actually miss the shoot-off shot?!”**

I couldn’t believe it either. I sighed as my shoulders dropped. I looked at the floor as I feel tears starting to form in my eyes.

_Big fat zero?!_ I would’ve hit myself had it not been for my splinted hand and my other hand holding my bow.

**“No! Wait!” **The MC said. I looked up and saw that the judges are still inspecting my arrow that is currently embedded into the board behind our targets.

**“Oh my God! This is amazing!”** I looked at the scoreboard and our scores showed.

_99 vs 99_.

**“It’s the ‘Golden Shot’ everyone! Her arrow grazed the camera and went straight through the board! The Medicine Department wins!”**

My jaws dropped, and I was suddenly engulfed in the arms of my teammates.

**“Oh my God! Yoonhye! You did it!” **

**“You are amazing!”**

I still couldn’t absorb what just happened. I looked at them with wide watering eyes.

**“Yoonhye, you really are something.” **It was coach, and I can see how proud she was of me. She gave me a thumbs up and smiled.

My tears fell as I absorbed everything. I hugged my teammates and Coach Yoonjeong. When I finally listened to the crowd’s cheers, I can hear them screaming and cheering for my name.

**“God Yoonhye! God Yoonhye!” **

It was so overwhelming that I almost forgot that we still have to bow to our opponents after the game. We lined up and bowed to one another and shook each other’s hands.

**“You’re way too good, _Sunbaenim_. How much more amazing will it be if you weren’t injured? I’m no match for you, _Sunbaenim_.”** Tzuyu said sincerely. And for the first time since learning that she’s the one in the rumors with Seungwoo, I smiled genuinely at her.

**“Thank you! You did amazing too.” **I told her, and I was suddenly pulled into a pair of strong arms.

_I hate that everything little he does, makes my heart skip a beat._

**“You were amazing! Congratulations!” **Seungwoo pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back and buried my face in his chest.

_Seungwoo’s scent. It’s always making me go insane._

**“Thank you!” **I looked up at him and smiled.

**“Hey, break it up you two. This is why rumors that you two are more than just friends keep circulating the campus. Your PDAs can be extreme.”** It was Byunchan who said that, and I suddenly let go of Seungwoo and so did he. **“Though we wouldn’t mind you two start dating one another.”**

**“We’re best friends you know. He’s just congratulating me.” **I said defensively. I had to say it first before he says it.

_Because I hate that whenever I hear him say that we’re best friends, my heart breaks a little more each time._

**“Do you know how much he wanted to stop the game when he saw you hurting earlier?” **Jinhyuk said and looked at my hand.

Wooseok was also looking at it.** “We had to pull him back to his seat before he could do anything.”**

I lifted it up, and that’s when the pain hit me again. I must’ve forgotten about it because of the rush of adrenaline.

**“Okay. No more dallying. We have to get you to the hospital.” **Seungwoo picked up my bag and pulled my uninjured hand. **“I’ll just take her to the hospital, Coach Yoonjeong.”**

**“Make sure to have it checked properly. She strained it a lot today.” **Coach said and we were off.

**“It’s rude, you know. We should’ve stayed a bit.”** I said as we were in the car.

**“The guys can handle themselves. I’m sure they’re already introducing themselves to your teammates. Your hand can’t wait any longer. I’ve already allowed you to do such a stupid thing, now we have to have it checked properly.” **

_I hate that his side profile looks as good as when you’re looking at his front, especially when he’s driving. It’s so unfair that he’s this good-looking!_

When we arrived at the hospital, Mother hen Seungwoo was busy fussing again. From the check up with the doctor, where I was scolded pretty bad by the orthopedic surgeon, to having my hand x-rayed for proper view whether I fractured any bone or it’s just torn ligaments, he kept on being agitated every time I wince.

Luckily I didn’t break any bone. Bad news was, I had to get a cast for my hand. The doctor insisted that I put a cast on it so that unnecessary movements won’t delay the healing process. Seungwoo on the other hand agreed automatically despite it being not his hand we’re talking about.

**“Best be prepared, Yoonhye.” **Seungwoo said as we were on our way home from the hospital.

**“Prepared?” **I asked, confused.

**“I’ll be your right hand until that cast comes off.” **he shrugged as he continued driving.

**“I still have my left hand you know. You don’t have to be overreacting.” **I rolled my eyes at him.

**“Left hand or not, I told you I’ll be your hand. So I’ll be moving next door to your apartment for better access.” **

_To be continued…_


	4. Hate That I Love You - 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How I hate that he’s annoyingly perfect he is in every aspect of his life. I hate that he looks good in anything he wears. I think you can put a sack of rice on him and he’d still rock it! I hate that his tattoos are as sinful as the man adorned by them. I hate that his height makes me feel like I’m a midget, even though I’m not that small. How I hate that his eyes can turn my legs into jelly when he stares at me. I hate that he’s overprotective that I sometimes overestimate his care for me. And I hate that me overestimating his concern for me means I’m just in for another heartache. I hate that every time he shows me even a pinch of concern, I think it’s more than that. I hate that even the people around him doesn’t want me to forget about him. I hate that even if I see someone else who is good-looking, Seungwoo always comes out on top for me. I hate that Seungwoo was never this forgetful about important stuff. I hate that he sometimes becomes odd out of the blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So since some kind of miracle hit me, here's also chapter 4. ENJOY! ^^

**Hate That I Love You – 4**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’s Trash**

**“You know, you don’t really have to do this.” **I was perched on the kitchen counter top at his new place, right next to mine.

I kept on dissuading him from moving places because this apartment building is the only place where I barely see Han Seungwoo. _Less heartache whenever I realize how I hate that he’s annoyingly perfect he is in every aspect of his life._

**“You do know I have roommates who can help me with stuff at home.” **I busied myself with unwrapping some plates while he was busy moving furniture.

_I hate that he looks good in anything he wears. I think you can put a sack of rice on him and he’d still rock it!_

I looked at him as his arm muscles rippled as he pushed the couch to his desire position. He was wearing a loose white sleeveless shirt and some comfortable black pants. From my view here on top of the kitchen counter, I can clearly see his tattoos – both in the chest and shoulder – showing and waving at me while he worked with the furniture.

_I hate that his tattoos are as sinful as the man adorned by them._

_ _

**“Yeah, you have roommates. But they won’t always be around to help you.”** Seungwoo then stood up straight and stretched his arms upward. This motion sent his shirt to ride up his stomach and gave me an HD view of _God Seungwoo’s_ abs.

I quickly looked away, because the temptation is _so_ strong! So I rushed to move one of the plates I’ve unwrapped onto the side, just to distract myself. But as I placed it, suddenly it slid down the side of the counter.

**“No!” **I screamed as I tried to stop it from falling, but it was to no avail on my part. Han Seungwoo was suddenly there and he caught the plate just in the nick of time.

**“See what I mean?” **He placed the plate onto the side of the counter.

When he stood up, he was right in front of me. Despite the fact I was seated on top of the kitchen counter, Seungwoo still towered over me because of his height.

_I hate that his height makes me feel like I’m a midget, even though I’m not that small._

Silence passed between us as we just stared at one another, looking at each other’s eyes.

_How I hate that his eyes can turn my legs into jelly when he stares at me._ I’m thankful that I’m sitting right now or else I might have buckled to the ground from the way he’s staring at me.

Someone cleared his throat from the door, and Seungwoo finally moved away from the kitchen counter to greet <strike>the intruder</strike> Byungchan.

**“Hyung, I hope we’re not interrupting anything.” **Byungchan said as he entered with Seungwoo’s friends from other departments, with some of the soccer team members and some new faces.

**“Come in. Come in.”** Seungwoo said to the new arrivals.

I tried hard to hide my burning cheeks as I placed my newly unwrapped plate to the side. Suddenly, a towel was draped on top of my legs.

It was Seungwoo who placed it. I was wearing shorts since my apartment was next door and it’s just Seungwoo. I didn’t know other people were coming.

_I hate that he’s overprotective that I sometimes overestimate his care for me._

**“Hyung.” **Seungyeon whined.

**“Wae?” **Seung asked.

**“We’re not perverts who will stare at Yoonhye Noona’s legs pretty legs.” **Seungyeon said, which gathered his a smack in the back of the head from Seungwoo.

**“Says the guy who’s always looking at men’s magazines.” **Hangyul jeered as he pulled Seungyeon’s neck in an arm lock.

**“Pervert or not, I’m not taking any chances. I won’t allow any of you to molest my best friend, even with your eyes.” **Seungwoo said then he started assigning everyone something to do.

_And I hate that me overestimating his concern for me means I’m just in for another heartache._

**“So this is why you didn’t hire any movers.” **I told him with a raised brow.

**“They said they wanted to see the new place. And also meet your roommates.”**

**“I don’t think Baekhyun Oppa and Donghae Oppa will like that. Plus, they’re not at home so I guess it’s bad timing.” **We both laughed at that.

**“I think I’m gonna hear an earful from those two Hyungs if I allow their girlfriends to be ogled by these perverts, especially Cho Seungyeon.”**

**“Stop bullying Seungyeon. He’s just eccentric at times.” **Then I pointed at Seungyeon who was playing catch with Hangyul. Problem was, they were playing catch using some of his albums.

**“What the–guys! What the heck are you doing to my collection?!”** Seungwoo hurriedly went to the two rascals and made a grab for his box of albums, but the two ran off with it.

I just smiled as I looked at him and his friends running around the living room.

**“You know, Noona. Why don’t the two of you just date.” **It was Dongpyo, Seungwoo’s _adopted_ son. **“I’m Dongpyo by the way. I’m practically Seungwoo Hyung’s son.”**

I smiled as I recalled who this kid was. He’s the little freshman whom Seungwoo dotes on a lot. Seungwoo said that he’s like a son to him and that he practically adores the cute kid.

**“I know you. I’ve heard all about you. Nice to finally meet Seungwoo’s _son_.” **I pinched his cheek. I couldn’t help it. He was so cute! I also did it to Hyeongjun when I first met him. These kids are so adorable, I don’t know where Seungwoo finds them.

**“Noona, please stop that. I’m no longer a kid.” **He pouted, which made him even look cuter.

I just patted Dongpyo’s head and I jumped off the kitchen counter, careful not to lean on my injured hand.

**“Well, since you’re no longer a kid, would you like to help me buy food for these hyenas? Coz I bet they’ll cause a riot after finishing the move.” **

**“Can I help too, Noona?” **It was Hyeongjun. **“Ow! Noona stop murdering my cheeks, please.”**

I just laughed at him. With his curly hair and puffy cheeks, it’s hard not to look at him and not pinch his cheeks.

**“But Noona, _Appa_ said that you’re a great cook. Why won’t you cook for us?”** Dongpyo asked and I showed him my hand.

**“I can’t cut anything with this hand. Maybe next time.”**

**“Okay.” **The two kids nodded and I called out to Seungwoo that I’ll be getting some food and drinks for everyone.

**“Careful on the way. And don’t lift anything heavy.”**

_I hate that every time he shows me even a pinch of concern, I think it’s more than that._

**“See you boys later.” **

**“Don’t worry _Appa. _We’ll make sure _Umma_ here won’t lift anything heavy.”**

I closed the door as I went down the elevator with the two kids.

**“Dongpyo, since when did I turn from Noona to Umma real quick?”** I asked him and he smiled at me.

**“It’s because he’s really protective of you, Noona. So you’re my _Umma_ now. And I like you for him.” **Dongpyo smiled at me, and who am I to reject a cute kid like him?

_I hate that even the people around him doesn’t want me to forget about him._

**“Noona, why don’t we just call the delivery for the food?” **Hyeongjun asked as we walked outside the building of our apartment.

**“It’s because it’ll be faster if we just go to the restaurant to order than wait for the delivery. Besides, it’s just down that corner.” **I said as I pointed onto my favorite place.

**“_Annyeonghaseyo._” **We said as we entered.

**“Yoonhye-ssi, you’re back again. How is your injured hand?”** It was Hwang Minhyun, the manager of the place. He’s really someone who works with his crew and not just wait in his office doing fake work. Plus, he’s really handsome as well.

_I hate that even if I see someone else who is good-looking, Seungwoo always comes out on top for me._

**“Still injured.” **I said as I raised my hand.

**“I hope it gets healed fast.” **He said solemnly then changed his voice to a brighter tone. **“Are you gonna be eating anything?” **

I told him my order and I ordered for 20 people. There were just 14 people in total, but I don’t think it’ll be enough to serve 13 hungry guys so I added some extra serving.

**“20? Are you having a party at your place Yoonhye-ssi?”** Minhyun asked as he punched the orders.

**“Nope. _Appa’s_ just moving beside _Umma_’s place.” **Dongpyo interjected with a serious face.

Minhyun gave me a questioning look, but I just smiled and explained to him that Dongpyo’s like a close little brother to Seungwoo.

I tried to look for my wallet, but it wasn’t in my pocket. My phone wasn’t there as well.

_I hate that Seungwoo was never this forgetful about important stuff._

**“Dongpyo-ya. Hyeongjun-ah. Can you please wait here for our order. I’ll just run back to the apartment real fast. I forgot my wallet at home.”**

**“There’s no need to hurry back. You can just pay tomorrow when you pass by. Don’t worry.”** Minhyun said as he did something to the cash register and the balance was suddenly zero. **“You don’t have to wait long, your food is already being cooked.”**

**“Thank you. I’ll pay you tomorrow or later.”** I said as I smiled at him and sat down.

After a few minutes, our order was finished. But I guess I overestimated our manpower, and even if I don’t have an injured hand, we still won’t be able to carry it.

**“Let me help you, Yoonhye-ssi.” **Minhyun offered and before I can decline, he called two more staff to help him.

**“Hi, Noona!” **It was Ong Seongwoo.

**“Hey there, Yoonhye-ssi.” **It was Ha Sungwoon.

**“I’ll man the register, Hyung.” **It was Kim Jaehwan,

I couldn’t decline because we can’t carry everything, especially with only two boys with me.

**“Thank you.” **I smiled as we walked back towards our apartment building.

**“So, Noona. I heard this kid call you _Umma. _So you have a son now?”** Seongwoo asked as we entered the elevator.

Dongpyo pouted when he heard himself being referred to as a kid. **“I’m not a kid. I’m a college student. Hmmpf!” **

**“Big kid, don’t tease the little kid.”** It was Sungwoon who said that, and it irked the two.

**“Ya! Who are you calling a big kid?” **– Seongwoo.

**“Who are you calling a little kid?” **– Dongpyo.

**“Who do you guys you think you’re talking to? I’m older than the two of you.” **He’s older, but he bickered like a kid as well.

**“I seriously don’t know how you can keep up with them at work.” **I told Minhyun quietly and laughed.

He laughed as well as we got out of the elevator. To my surprise, Seungwoo was standing there with his phone to his ear.

**“Oh. Seungwoo-ya. What are you doing here?” **I asked and he put down his phone.

**“I was calling your phone because you were taking so long, but you weren’t answering. So I was going to pick you guys up in case you had a problem carrying the food.” **Then he looked at Minhyun, Sungwoon, and Seongwoo who were also carrying the food containers.

**“I forgot my phone and wallet at home. They offered to help us carry the food since there’s so many.”**

Seungwoo took the only plastic that I was carrying, the one with disposable chopsticks and other utensils and took one of the plastics Dongpyo was carrying. Dongpyo was gonna argue that he can carry it since he carried it from the restaurant to the apartment, but Seungwoo just smiled at him and patted his head saying he’s already done a good job carrying it that far and now his _Appa_ will now do the work. We walked back to Seungwoo’s apartment along with everyone else.

**“It’s really beside Noona’s place.” **Seongwoo said. He knows my place since my roommates and I usually order food from their restaurant.

**“How come you know Noona’s place?” **Hyeongjun asked innocently.

Before either one of us can answer, the door opened and the guys inside cheered as the saw the food.

**“Guys keep it down. You’re gonna get us reported.” **I said, and they still cheered, although a lot quieter this time. I laughed as I shook my head.

**“Guys, take the food inside.” **Seungwoo told the rest, and Minhyun, Sungwoon and Seongwoo gave them the plastic bags.

**“Would you like to eat with us? There are a lot of extras you know.” **I told them.

**“It’s okay. It’s almost lunch hour anyway. We have to get back.” **Minhyun said with a smile.

**“Oh wait! Before I forget. I’ll just get my wallet from my apartment.” **I was about to step outside again, but Seungwoo stopped me by holding my left hand.

**“I’ll pay for it.”** He grabbed his wallet and asked for the amount for the food.

Minhyun told him the price. **“But we don’t have any change for that.” **

**“Just keep it in case Yoonhye eats at your restaurant and forgets her wallet again. Thank you for helping them.” **He said with a curt nod

_Well, that was odd._

**“Thank you again guys. Good luck on the lunch hour.” **I told them and they waved goodbye.

**“It’s always a pleasure to serve you. See you again, Yoonhye-ssi.” **Minhyun said and closed the door.

**_“‘It’s always a pleasure to serve you.’ _****Pfft. It’s not like he’s a servant at the royal palace._”_** Seungwoo said with a snort and headed to the kitchen where the food was being removed from their plastics.

_What’s his problem?_

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't say when Chapter 5 will be up, but stay tuned! Thank you for reading! ^^


	5. Hate That I Love You - 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate how my decisions always included Seungwoo in them. I hate that everything he does sends my mind to another place. A place filled with fantasies about me and him. I hate that being in close proximity to Seungwoo makes my heart want to explode from happiness. I hate that I do stupid things because of him. I hate that he’s so hard to read sometimes! I hate how he looks extra good-looking whenever he’s wearing a suit and looks so professional. I hate that he’s such a gentleman. But it’s not like he’s only a gentleman to me. I hate that whenever I think of being separated from him, it feels like we’re breaking up.
> 
> “Don’t worry. You won’t lose me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the uber delay on the update, some things happened. But I'm back! Thanks for the kudos, comments, and reads! Chapter 6 is already in the making, so it'll probably be out in the next couple of days. ^^
> 
> I'm also writing an AU in twitter. Would you guys care to read it?

**Hate That I Love You - 5**

**by:**

**SuJuX1's Trash**

**“I can’t believe we’re graduating tomorrow!” **Seungwoo said as he laid on my bed.

I was busy arranging my things for tomorrow’s graduation. Finally, we’re graduating! Though there’s still the Post-Graduation Internship we have to worry about. But it’s still a step.

My hand is all healed and the cast has been removed. But Seungwoo never moved out after that. Now this guys has never stopped bothering me in my room, _everyday_! I almost wanted my Unnies to tell him to stop coming, but I know they can’t and won’t do that. Can’t because their boyfriends are also coming over to the apartment sometimes so Seungwoo might argue with them about having guys over. Won’t because they’re a bunch of pimps who are always pairing me and Seungwoo together ever since Yoona Unnie read my notebook.

_I think I have to consider Yuri’s suggestion about using Twitter, to let out my feelings, instead of actually writing it in a notebook that can easily get misplaced._

**“Yeah. Time flies by so fast.” **I said as I dusted off my dress for tomorrow.

I sighed as I looked at my blush pink lace dress with sleeves. It’s not like me to buy a dress like this, but Yoona Unnie and Taeyeon Unnie practically shoved me into the dressing room and told me to try it on. I went dress shopping with them while Seungwoo went with Donghae Oppa and Baekhyun Oppa to buy something for him to wear.

**“Don’t you think it’s a bit too short?” **I looked at Seungwoo who was now lying on his side, face towards me as he eyed my dress.

**“Is it?” **I suddenly started doubting my choice in agreeing to buy this dress.

The Unnies told me that Seungwoo will probably like it so I got persuaded into buying it. It was really pretty, though it’s not my style, but that idea made me buy it.

_I hate how my decisions always included Seungwoo in them. _

**“You think I should wear something else?” **I asked him again.

**“Until where does it stop in your legs?”** Seungwoo got up and sat on the bed._ My bed._

_What are you thinking about, Yoonhye? Get your mind out of the gutter!_

_I hate that everything he does sends my mind to another place. A place filled with fantasies about me and him. Ugh! _*mental facepalm*

**“Hello. Earth to Yoonhye.” **He said as he waved his arms around like a person who was waiting for someone at the airport.

_I hate how he looks cute when he does some crazy antics._

**“What was that?” **

**“I asked you how short the dress is. Where does it stop on your legs?” **

**“Uhmm…” **I placed my hand about 4 inches above my knees. **“Right around here?”**

Seungwoo suddenly got up, removed the dress from the hanger and placed it in front of me. He looked me up and down, and I had to stop myself from blushing. He shook his head as if he’s not happy with what he’s seeing.

**“You can’t wear this tomorrow.” **He said as he placed it back into the hanger and was about to put the dress away when I stopped him.

**“_Wae_?” **I asked and took back the dress.

Seungwoo was about to take the dress again, but I hid it behind me and ran away. He chased me around the room.

**“Just give it to me. You can’t wear that tomorrow.”** He said as we were on the opposite sides of my study table.

**“Give me a concrete reason why.” **I stuck my tongue at him when he failed to grab me again.

**“It’s too short for my liking. Guys will ogle at you. I know it’ll make you feel awkward.”** Seungwoo suddenly said and I was caught off guard.

He pulled the dress from behind me and when I tried to get it back, I tripped and fell forward. Seungwoo caught me but his balance was off so we both fell to the floor.

**“Ow.” **Seungwoo whined as he removed the dress and hanger from underneath him.

His movement made me realize our position. I was lying on top of him. My hands were spread on his chest, cheek to his neck. I felt Seungwoo’s hand on the back of my head. The other one that removed the hanger and dress is now on my back.

**“You okay?”** Seungwoo asked.

I pushed myself a bit off of him. **“I’m okay.”**

I couldn’t fully get up because his hands were still on my head and back.

**“No injuries?”** Seungwoo was looking at me.

**“No injuries.” **I said. I wanted to get up, but the way he looked at me made me want to stay in that position forever.

**“Good.” **I could’ve sworn Seungwoo’s voice was so low, as if he was afraid someone would hear us. But I replied to him with ‘good’ in that same volume.

We just stayed there on the floor. With Seungwoo underneath me and his hands on my waist and hair.

He pushed a stray hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear.

**“Your hair is so much longer compared to before.” **Seungwoo was looking so intently at my face, as if he’s memorizing every detail. **“I like your hair long.”**

_I hate that being in close proximity to Seungwoo makes my heart want to explode from happiness._

I can only hope he can’t hear the erratic beating of my heart right now.

**“Yoonhye, have you seen my—oh!” **We both looked at the door and saw Taeyeon unnie with Baekhyun oppa behind her.

**“What the heck is going on here?!” **Baekhyun said in a not-so quiet voice.

Their arrival made us snap out of whatever weird situation it was that happened and I pushed myself off of Seungwoo and he got up after me.

**“What happened?” **Donghae oppa was suddenly there along with Yoona unnie.

**“Did something happen?”** Yoona unnie asked.

**“Nothing happened.” **Both Seungwoo and I said at almost the said time.

I knew I was blushing so bad right now. I can’t let anyone, especially Seungwoo see me like this.

I grabbed the dress from the floor. Put it up again in its place earlier and pushed Seungwoo out of the room.

**“Go home. It’s already late.” **Yes. I am deliberately ignoring my two housemates and their boyfriends.

Seungwoo didn’t fight with me when I pushed him out of my room and locked the door. He also looked stunned with what happened.

**“Goodnight!” **I shouted to him through the door. I didn’t wait for him to answer and I just went to my bed and dove into it, face down.

I grabbed a pillow and cursed myself and everyone.

_I hate that I do stupid things because of him. _

_The next day…_

**“Unnie, I don’t think you have to do this.”**

I was sitting in front of my vanity cabinet while Taeyeon unnie was busy curling my hair.

**“It’s your graduation day. You have to make jaws drop on this big day!” **Yoona unnie said as she was busy putting on my make up.

**“I don’t think anyone will be looking at me.”** I said wryly as I made a face at them.

**“That’s what you think.” **Then the two of them looked at one another.

**“I don’t like those looks.” **

**“You’ll be fine.” **Tae Unnie said as she finished with my hair.

**“Hopefully someone realizes it while this girl is still an undiscovered gem.” **Yoona Unnie stood up straight as she finished with my face.

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror.

**“I look… weird.”** I told them with much uncertainty.

**“You look good!” **Tae Unnie said and turned me around.

**“Now go get them boys! Make their eyes pop out!” **Yoona Unnie said and she went outside when the doorbell rang.

**“I bet that’s Seungwoo. He’s gonna be in for a surprise.”**

I just smiled wryly at her. I doubt Seungwoo will even give me a second look. All the girls he dated look like supermodels and actresses. I’m Plain Jane compared to them, even with make up on.

I’m carpooling with Seungwoo to the school. Our parents will go directly to the school so that they won’t have to travel too far.

I might have forgotten to mention, but our parents are super close friends since college. That’s why I ended up being Seungwoo’s _best friend._

I checked myself one last time, grabbed my bag and went out of the room with Tae Unnie.

**“She’s just finishing up.” **I heard Yoona Unnie talking to Seungwoo.

**“Finishing up with what?”**

**“She’s here.” **Tae Unnie announced as we got down from the stairs.

Seungwoo stood up and looked me up and down. I couldn’t read his expression. Did he like it? Did he dislike it? Ugh!

_I hate that he’s so hard to read sometimes! _

**“You two better get going. Your parents are probably waiting for you at the school.”**

Suddenly, Seungwoo’s phone buzzed and he answered it.

Damn this guy for looking good in the suit he bought with Hae Oppa and Baek Oppa. He was wearing a navy blue suit with thin white horizontal stripes, white inner long-sleeved button down shirt that’s tucked inside the same patterned pants as his coat, and a navy woven silk tie. Seungwoo's bangs that usually covered his forehead was styled in a very sleek way and his forehead was now showing. 

_He looks hot! Ugh!_

_I hate how he looks extra good-looking whenever he’s wearing a suit and looks so professional._

Add the fact that he’s talking on the phone like some businessman.

**“Let’s go. They’re already at school.”** Seungwoo said as he ended the call. **“We’ll get going Noona.”**

**“Take care! Congratulations!” **My two Unnies waved goodbye to us, and it didn’t miss me that they winked at me as well.

I mentally sighed because their teasing started when they saw my notebook and they just won’t stop!

_Maybe they’ll stop when Seungwoo and I actually end up together. _

I shook my head as I walked out of the apartment and walked with Seungwoo towards the elevator. He was still not saying anything to me about what I’m wearing. After what happened last night, I feel so awkward being this close to him.

He opened the car door for me when I was about to open it.

_I hate that he’s such a gentleman. But it’s not like he’s only a gentleman to me. _Sigh.

**“Thank you.” **I said then sat down on the car seat, but before I could close the door, he removed his coat and placed it on top of my legs.

Seungwoo murmured something as he placed his coat on my legs, but I couldn’t quite catch it. He closed the door and then we were on our way.

Here I am again, admiring his side profile as he drove on our way to the school. I swear his jawline can cut paper.

When we stopped at a red light, he sighed and loosened his tie and unbuttoned the two top buttons of his shirt.

**“Are you okay?”** I asked him with a raised brow.

_He looks…pissed._

**“I’m fine.” **Seungwoo answered curtly.

**“Ya. Han Seungwoo.” **I said as I crossed my arms. **“You’re looking so pissed at something right now and you’re not telling your best friend.”**

He looked my way and I raised one eyebrow at him.

**“Spill. What’s wrong?” **

He looked away and sighed as his hand tightened around the steering wheel.

**“It’s just that graduation is coming up, and I’ve been waiting for this day to come, but I’m scared of change.” **Seungwoo started driving again.

Change. It’s an inevitable thing, especially since the hospitals that we’re going to be interning at will be different. I sighed at the thought.

_I hate that whenever I think of being separated from him, it feels like we’re breaking up._

I’m scared, truth be told. Because Seungwoo might end up meeting someone during the internship. Someone pretty, smart, talented and someone who is a match for him. Someone who is worthy of _God Seungwoo._

_How ironic that I’m having these thoughts, the radio played Jisun’s song ‘What Do I Do’._

What do I do? _If it isn’t you, no one else can hold my heart._

I sighed internally as I listened to the lyrics.

_Damn you, Jisun. Why does your song hurt so much? Especially now that Seungwoo and I are about to be separated._

We entered the school gate and Seungwoo parked his car. He stopped the engine, the music as well, but we didn’t move from our seats. We were just staring in front of us, into the soccer field.

**“Hey.”** I said without looking at him. **“Do you remember how you used to dream about being a professional soccer player?” **This time I looked at Seungwoo with a smile on my face.

Seungwoo was still looking at the soccer field. **“Yeah.” **He smiled, probably recalling how he used to boast, mostly to me, that he’ll be the next soccer star in Korea once we grew up.

**“Why didn’t you pursue it? You love soccer.”**

Seungwoo looked my way this time, left hand on the stirring wheel and looked intently at me. I couldn’t look away, couldn’t back away.

**“There are some things in this world that you love but can’t pursue because sometimes we’re scared we’d lose them.” **

Why do I feel like his last words had so much more meaning behind it?

I was about to ask him to elaborate on that, but my phone started ringing and so did his phone.

**“I think they’re looking for us.” **I said and I pulled away.

We got out of the car and I arranged my skirt since it has ridden up during the ride. I just didn’t notice it because Seungwoo’s coat was covering my legs.

Seungwoo walked towards my side of the car and I saw that his two buttons were still unbuttoned and that his tie was still loose.

**“Hold this.” **I handed him his coat and removed his tie then I buttoned his shirt.

**“Manner legs, please.” **I said and Seungwoo immediately understood what I meant.

He spread his legs wide and lowered himself so that I can place the tie around his neck. I put it back in place and dusted off his shoulder.

I don’t know what came over me, but I suddenly found myself holding his cheeks in my hands.

**“Don’t worry. You won’t lose me.”** I smiled at him and Seungwoo smiled back.

_To be continued…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! You've reached the end again! Thanks for reading!


	6. Hate That I Love You - 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's graduation day, and that means... PARTY! 
> 
> I hate that despite having someone who is almost perfect in every aspect standing in front of me, it’s Seungwoo that I’m still looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here I am. Back to fast updates! Hihi. Don't worry, Chapter 7 is also in the works as I am updating this. It was supposed to be a long ass Chapter 6 but... nah! HAHAHA. What's a story without a little cliffhanger? 😉

**Hate That I Love You - 6**

**by:**

**SuJuX1'sTrash**

**“Finally! We’re graduates!” **Seungwoo screamed as we got out of the hall and met up with our parents.

**“Congratulations, to the two of you!” **Our parents hugged the two of us.

**“You’re all grown up. My baby’s all grown up!” **My mom was teary-eyed as she hugged me.

**“Mom. Stop.”** I smiled and kissed her cheek. **“I love you!”**

**“Hey. How about me?”** I looked at my dad and hugged him as well and kissed his cheek.

**“Why are you guys so clingy?”** Everyone laughed at my comment. **“I love you both. Happy?”**

I saw Seungwoo hug his mom who was crying.

**“You kids grow up so fast.”** She commented and hugged me as well.

**“Don’t cry Mrs. Han.”** I hugged her back as I smiled at Seungwoo, who was looking fondly at his mom while his dad clapped him on the back.

**“Let’s take a picture with them before we forget.”** Dad said as he and Mom stood on either side of me.

Seungwoo took the picture. After that, I took a picture of him and his parents.

**“It’s sad that Sunhwa Unnie and Jiyoung unnie aren’t here.” **They’re Seungwoo’s older sisters. Sunhwa unnie is currently in the States with her husband and Jiyoung Unnie is in Paris because of school.

**“They said they’ll come visit soon so don’t worry, Yoonhye.”** Mr. Han said and he took the camera from me. **“Now, you two, stand there together and I’ll take a picture.”**

I’m just glad I’m already too good at pretending not to be awkward with Seungwoo when we’re taking pictures together. Seungwoo on the other hand seemed tense as he stood beside me.

**“Ya. What’s wrong?”** I whispered to him. His dad was still tweaking with something in the camera settings.

**“Nothing. Aren’t you cold? Your dress is really too short for my liking.”** He said and I stared at him.

The camera flashed and I looked back at our parents who were smiling widely.

**“Now do your traditional graduation pose.”** Mom said and I looked at her.

**“Mom, I’m wearing a skirt!”** I told her. It will be so awkward if I climbed on Seungwoo’s back while wearing a skirt. **“Plus, we’re not kids anymore.”**

**“But you always do that for every graduation you’ve had.”** Mrs. Han seconded.

I swear to God, they really are friends. I almost face palmed at what they’re saying. BESIDES! It’s gonna be _so_ awkward, especially with what happened last night.

I know I just told him that he won’t lose me when we were in the parking lot, but it’s still awkward as heck! Ugh!

**“Here.”** Seungwoo suddenly wrapped his coat on my waist. I froze as he tied the sleeves around my waist. **“There’s no use arguing with them. You know you won’t win.”**

I just sighed and stood behind him.

**“Ready?”** He said towards me, and I climbed on his back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked forward.

We both smiled as our parents smiled happily and Seungwoo’s dad took the picture.

**“Happy graduation.”** He whispered to my ear. **“We made it.”**

I looked at him, I was still on his back. **“Happy graduation to you too.”**

And then the camera flashed.

_Later that night…At a bar…_

**“Let’s get this party started!”** Seungyoun shouted and everyone screamed. The music was booming and people were either drinking or dancing. Our friends threw a party for the two of us. We graduated with high honors. Can you imagine that? Seungwoo’s cram studies actually paid off. Of course, he can thank my notes for that as well.

So many people congratulated us. I can’t even remember how many times I said ‘thank you’ to everyone who congratulated me.

**“Here.”** Seungwoo gave me a glass while he was holding a beer bottle.

**“What’s in this?”** I tilted my head as I asked him.

**“Juice.”** He said as he took a sip of beer.

**“Juice?! I’m not a kid.”** I narrowed my eyes at him and he just looked at me with a serious face.

**“Do you not remember what happened last time you got wasted? I won’t let you drink like that again. You we’re basically crawling on the bathroom floor, Park Yoonhye.”**

I could still remember that day. We just finished our exams and our class suddenly went to a bar to drink. It was the first time I actually drank without thinking about the consequences the next day because exams were over and it’s sem break the next day. The guys practically gave me one glass after another, the next thing I knew, I was in the bathroom of the bar with Seungwoo cursing as he held me upright while I was emptying whatever dinner I had that day into the toilet bowl.

**“That was just one time.”** I said defensively. **“And we didn’t have a decent dinner that’s why I got so drunk.”**

**“No means no.”** Seungwoo said and he was pulled to the side by Hangyul.

**“I’ll just borrow him for a while.”** Then they were out of sight.

Someone suddenly hugged me, and I was shocked to see it was the guys from my favorite restaurant, One Able.

**“Congratulations!”** Minhyun said after he released me.

**“Yah! You scared me. I thought it was some pervert.”** I joked and smiled at the others with him. **“Did you close the restaurant?”**

Almost all the eleven of them were there. Minhyun, Seongwu, Jisung, Daniel, Jihoon, Sungwoon, Woojin and Jaehwan were present.

**“The other three?”** I asked them as they took turns congratulating and hugging me.

**“They have school tomorrow so they can’t come. They did send you a gift.”** Sungwoon pulled out his phone and showed me a video.

**“Noona!”** the three youngest crew of the restaurant called out at the same time.

**“We heard you graduated with high honors.”** Jinyoung said as he smiled widely at the camera.

**“Congratulations, Noona. Sorry we couldn’t come.”** Guanlin said and pouted a bit. I smiled when I saw how cute he looked.

**“School is over-rated, but Minhyun hyung said we had to study hard so he was basically the reason we aren’t there.”** Daehwi said and I looked at Minhyun who looked clueless as to what the video contained.

**“I’m innocent.”** Minhyun defended, but the others said that he’s not.

**“Congratulations again, Noona!” **they chorused and the camera was put down. But the video still had a few more seconds.

**“Bet he just wants to have more time with Noona without the three of us teasing him.”** Jinyoung’s voice can be heard in the background, and by this time, Minhyun grabbed Sungwoon’s phone.

**“Yah! Hwang Minhyun. That’s my phone.”** Sungwoon fought for his phone back, but Minhyun raised his hand that’s holding the phone upwards, so Sungwoon couldn’t get it.

Seongwu and Daniel were suddenly standing beside Minhyun and they grabbed his hand and Sungwoon finally has his phone back.

**“You dork.”** Sungwoon snickered and played the video again.

**“Why couldn’t he just confess he likes Noona?”** Guanlin asked the two in the video, I felt myself blushing because of what the kids were saying.

**“Ah, Hyung!” **Minhyun whined, but he’s being held restricted by the OngDan duo.

**“I thought he said he’ll confess to her when she graduates. It’s probably the best time to do it.”** Daehwi said and looked at the camera. **“Hyung, you’re still filming?”**

And we can all hear Sungwoon’s laugh in the background and the video was cut off.

They were suddenly teasing the two of us. I saw Minhyun’s ears growing red while my face was probably flushed right now. I grabbed a drink from one of the bar staff who was carrying beer bottles in a tray. I drank it and looked at the others whose teasing grew even more. Minhyun was also holding a beer bottle and we probably drank at around the same time.

**“Love shot. Love shot. Love shot.”** The guys from One Able cheered, and I just looked at them wide-eyed. Of course, Minhyun mirrored my reaction.

**“Stop it, you guys. You’re making Yoonhye feel awkward.”** Jisung Oppa, the owner of the restaurant, said as he patted my back. **“Congratulations. I’m sorry these kids don’t go out that much that’s why they’re so hyper when they got here.”**

**“It’s okay, Oppa.”** I smiled at him, but now I can’t look towards Minhyun’s way.

**“But, we definitely won’t mind seeing a ‘love shot’. Our Minhyunie has always had a crush on you.”**

**“OPPA!”**

**“HYUNG!”**

We were suddenly pushed towards each other by his friends, and we stood in front of one another _very awkwardly._

**“I’m so sorry about this. They just won’t stop.”** Minhyun apologized and bowed.

Why am I even hesitating? Minhyun’s a gentleman, he’s good-looking, he manages a restaurant at such a young age, and he’s very talented. Over-all he’s a really great guy.

_You’re being like this because of one person you know who has the same exact qualities. _

I shook my head. **“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”**

They cheered _love shot_ again and I know they won’t stop until we really do a love shot with our beer bottles.

**“You won’t mind, will you?”** Minhyun said as he looked reluctant.

**“I won’t mind. We’re friends after all.”**

_Ugh! What the heck am I doing? _

_WAIT! Why am I even hesitating?_

We hooked our arms to prepare for the love shot, but the guys of One Able were not satisfied.

**“Ey~! You should do it like this.” **Jaehwan motioned Jihoon and Woojin who hugged each other, chins on the other’s shoulder and drank their shots.

**“Guys, let’s not overdo this. We might lose a loyal customer.”** Minhyun said with a sigh.

**“But Noona hasn’t said ‘no’ yet.”** Daniel said and smiled cheekily.

_Oh God! Save me! _

But despite that, I still said that it’s ‘okay’. Since Minhyun was a lot taller than me, he’s almost as tall as Seungwoo – I hurriedly stopped my train of thoughts. It’s just a game, no need to take it too seriously, that’s what I thought to myself. Or maybe I’m okay with it because I know that only one person can make my heart race like I’m running a marathon is somewhere probably hitting on some girls with Hangyul and Seungyoun.

_I hate that despite having someone who is almost perfect in every aspect standing in front of me, it’s Seungwoo that I’m still looking for._

Minhyun bent down to accommodate my height, and we hugged, but not too tight. It’s mostly our shoulders that’s touching and our hands that are holding our beer bottles came around one another and we finished the bottle as they cheered.

When we finished the _love shot_, I looked around the place and everyone was cheering for us. It only registered to me what they were saying…

_Sagwieora… Sagwieora… _

We pulled apart, the awkwardness has returned.

They’re cheering for us to date! Minhyun and me! I turned back and went straight for the rest room. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I can clearly see my red cheeks and I just hit my forehead.

**“Oh my God! That was so embarrassing!” **I said as I slammed my hands onto the counter.

**“Hey, you okay?” **Tae and Yoona unnie were suddenly there. Yuri and Hyo were also there.

**“I’m fine, unnie. I just don’t think I can show my face again in front of everyone again.” **I said with a pout.

**“It’s okay. It’s normal for things like that to happen during parties.” **Hyo said as she patted my back. **“It’s a party for you, you can’t not show your face.”**

**“Don’t worry. They’ll forget what happened soon enough.” **Yuri reassured me. And with them, I got out of the comfort room and sat in one of the round sofas on the side.

My phone suddenly buzzed in my pocket as I received a text message.

_From: Minhyun_

_I’m really sorry about what happened. Don’t believe anything they said. Congratulations again!_

I looked around and saw their group on the side, with some of them already flirting with some of the girls from the nursing department that were invited. Tzuyu was there along with her friends. I recognized Dahyun and Nayeon. Daniel was flirting with a short-haired girl who I think is Jihyo. I can’t recall much of their names since there’s nine of them and it’s a really crazy night.

**“Here. Drink this.”** Tae Unnie handed me a glass of vodka. **“To calm your nerves.”**

I accepted the drink. No harm in one glass of vodka, right? Plus, Seungwoo’s not here to reprimand me so what the heck.

As the party goes on, I still haven’t seen Seungwoo anywhere.

_He’s probably making out with some girl Hangyul and Seungyoun introduced to him. _

I pouted at the thought and I was about to drink another glass of vodka, when someone stopped me.

**“I thought I told you no drinking tonight.”** Seungwoo drank the vodka and he looked damn serious.

** _To be continued..._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! You've reached the end again! Thanks for reading! Don't forget to tell your friends about it. 😂😂😂😂😂


	7. Hate That I Love You - 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate that whenever he looks this way, my mind suddenly goes haywire. I hate that he has this duality in him. He can be the boy next door type you introduce to your parents as your boyfriend, or this university playboy who’s always ready to kiss you senseless and do very naughty things to you. I swear to God, I hate how he’s so caring and overprotective one moment and then goes to flirt with other girls the next minute. I hate that his actions make me think more than what he’s really meaning. I hate that no matter how angry I am at Seungwoo, my anger disappears almost instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hey. Chapter 8 and 9 are already written. But I'm gonna purposely tell you that and do a cliffhanger. Next chapter is a bit... Rated, per se, so... I dunno if I should separate that part from the rest of the story or not. HAHAHA. Tell me how to do it?

**Hate That I Love You – 7**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’sTrash**

**“I thought I told you no drinking tonight.”** Seungwoo drank the vodka and he looked damn serious.

_Heck he looked hot as well! Oh my God! I better get my mind out of the gutter!_

_I hate that whenever he looks this way, my mind suddenly goes haywire._

He changed clothes. From the graduation suit earlier, he’s now wearing an unbuttoned black coat, printed black and white inner long sleeved button-down shirt that has a plunging neckline and _tight_ black pants. His sleek hair from the graduation is now messy, but heck it made him look even <strike>hotter</strike> better.

_I hate that he has this duality in him. He can be the boy next door type you introduce to your parents as your boyfriend, or this university playboy who’s always ready to kiss you senseless and do very naughty things to you._

I blinked and shook my head to clear it.

_It’s getting very murky, my head. Save me!_

He removed his coat. The movement caused his inner shirt to move as well and reveal more of his chest as one part of it slid down his shoulder revealing his birthday tattoo. He draped the coat onto my lap and sat down beside me.

**“So where have you been?” **I asked him, totally ignoring what he just did and what he just showed me again. **“I think you’ll need this coat more than me, Mister.”**

Seungwoo looked down at what he’s wearing and smirked.

**“This is nothing.”** He just said and took a sip from the beer bottle that was served to our table. **“And I told you to change clothes. Why are you still wearing that dress?”**

It’s my turn to look at my clothes. I’m still wearing my clothes from earlier.

_Well it’s not like I got any chance to change at ALL! I was suddenly pulled into a pool of teasing by the guys from One Able._

**“Yoonhye, let’s go. We brought some clothes for you to change into.”** Before I could even react, Yoona Unnie and Tae Unnie along with Yuri and Hyo pulled me from the seat making Seungwoo’s coat fall to the floor. I picked it up and gave it to him.

**“Be back.”** I barely got any time to say it because I was pulled away.

**“Unnie. This won’t work.” **I said as I looked at myself in the mirror and tried buttoning the blue blazer they made me wear on top of a black midriff.

**“Stop it! Show your assets girl!” **Hyo said as she stopped my hand from fastening the button.

**“But my belly button is showing.” **I whined at them hoping they’ll at least let me cover my poor belly.

**“You have a beautiful waist! Don’t let it go to waste.” **Yuri then re-adjusted my blazer.

**“Might as well make you look so irresistible that Seungwoo won’t be going anywhere but stay beside you.”** Tae Unnie said as ruffled my hair to make it a messy version of my prim hair from graduation that morning.

Yoona Unnie handed me a belt and started putting on some make up on me making it darker, more apt for a night party.

**“What’s this for, Unnie?” **I asked her. I knew I sounded so dumb.

**“Are you sure she’s one of the high honor recipients for your batch?”** Yoona Unnie asked as she fastened it around my waist. They made me wear a pair of black fitted leather pants.

**“Unnie~!” **I pouted at her.

**“Let’s go before Seungwoo gets stowed away again.”**

When we got back to our table, Seungwoo wasn’t there.

**“Toldya we should’ve hurried back.”** Yuri said as she sat down at our table.

Seungwoo’s probably back to flirting with someone. His coat is nowhere in sight.

_Girl, he’s not your property. You’re just the best friend._

_I swear to God, I hate how he’s so caring and overprotective one moment and then goes to flirt with other girls the next minute._

**“I’m not his girlfriend for him to stay and wait for me or anything.” **I told them and grabbed glass of vodka from the table and finished the whole thing.

Suddenly girls started screaming as we heard the intro instrumentals of Camila Cabelo’s _Havana. _We went towards the stage where girls were starting to gather and saw that Seungyoun and Hangyul were on stage holding microphones.

Seungyoun started singing the first part while dancing to the music and the girls went wild! I nodded my head to the music as my friends started dancing as well. The screaming got more intense when Hangyul suddenly started rapping in Korean. Yuri held my shoulders and started moving me.

**“Dance, girl!”** she screamed through the noise and music.

Once she let go of my shoulders, I started dancing with my friends.

Screams grew even louder when Seungwoo suddenly appeared on stage while holding a mic and positioned himself between Seungyoun and Hangyul.

**“Yeah.”** Seungwoo started and then he started rapping as well.

(Note: These lyrics are from Seungwoo’s rap in Havana with Victon)

_You are just like caffeine_

_Everyday my hands just wanna go to you again, drool_

_Like a rainbow in the diverse colors_

_I am drown in it, forgotten line or rule_

_I will bring you to America, clear your schedule or postpone_

_Even when I close my eyes till I fall asleep I think about you_

_Get away just the two of us faraway, woo_

_Naturally coming out humming, umm_

_I don’t know what I am looking at, just hashtag it check it_

_Havana Havana vana_

_No matter whatever_

_Havana Havana vana_

_Oh nana this is for us_

_Oh.My.God._

I think my mind just stopped functioning with what I just saw, heard and felt.

I _saw_ Seungwoo singing with the buttons of his inner shirt now opened and giving everyone, EVERYONE, a full view of his well sculpted abs looking hot as hell while he sang, danced and rapped.

I know that Seungwoo knows how to sing and rap, he’s done that countless times during our gatherings and car rides, but I never knew he knows how to write his own rap. _Hearing_ those lyrics made me question whether my mind was just plain dirty because I thought that those lyrics had other meaning to them, or if it was really meant to be suggestive.

It _felt _weird because as he rapped his lines, I could’ve sworn he was looking my way.

_It couldn’t have been meant for me right? That I am caffeine and he wants his hands on me?_

Of course before I could even think more of it, the song was coming to an end. They roamed around the stage and when they gathered back to the center, they started dancing to the music and my mind just went completely blank. Seungwoo, this annoyingly handsome best friend of mine is doing body waves with Seungyoun and Hangyul. He even had the gall to stick out his tongue as he danced and I think my jaw just dropped as the three, of course my eyes were fixed on my sexy beast of a best friend, started doing body rolls while almost kneeling to the floor.

As they finished their finale, I was still stunned. Too culture shocked with what just happened. The crowd went wild and some girls were screaming for an encore.

**“Girls, I think Yoonhye just shut down.”** Yoona Unnie said as she shook me.

**“Girl, you okay?”** Yuri snapped her fingers in front of me and I blinked as I got back to my senses.

I held my face and I felt it grow hot. I couldn’t get the image of Seungwoo from earlier out of my mind.

**“I think I need holy water.”** I muttered absently and my friends laughed at me. I glared at them. **“I’m serious!”**

**“Girl, you are so cute!”** Tae Unnie said as they laughed even more.

**“Thank you for that _very hot_ performance from the Holy Trinity of the Medicine Department.” **The DJ said. **“Let’s keep the heat going with another song from Camila.”**

Then the intro for _Señorita_ came on and everyone started dancing again. The trio went down the stage and so many girls suddenly gathered around them and they started dancing suggestively towards the three guys. I could clearly see Seungwoo grinning as one of the girls started dancing sexily in front of him.

**“Girl, he’ll melt.”** Hyo said as she danced.

**“Playboy through and through.”** How could I have forgotten that this guy, my best friend, is part of the _Holy Trinity _of the Medicine Department not only because he was smart, talented and good-looking, but because he was also a big playboy?

**“Forget about him and dance.”** My friends said and I just danced along with them. I don’t know if the beer and vodka I’ve had earlier is finally getting into my system, or maybe I’m just plain mad and didn’t give a damn anymore.

I let the music claim my body and started dancing to the beat of the music. I threw my head back as I danced, my messy curled hair moving from side to side. I moved my hips, rocking and rotating it to the music. I lost all sense of everything around us, as I let the beat carry away my frustration and who the reason of that frustration was. I wasn’t even sure where Seungwoo was anymore because when I looked at where he was dancing with that girl from before, he wasn’t there and the girl was also out of sight. At this point, I don’t care anymore.

Men were watching us and some started gathering around us. Since my friends already have boyfriends and they’re just around the corner, they didn’t return any of the gazes they were getting. But me, thinking that no one will get mad if I flirted a little, returned a guy’s gaze to my right.

I can see by the way he moves his body that he’s a good dancer. Despite the low lighting, I can see that he has a slightly tanned skin. Now I remember who this guy was. It was Kai from the Music and Arts Department.

_I wonder who invited him? _

**“Baekhyun invited him.” **Tae Unnie answered as if she could read my mind. **“You don’t mind, do you?”**

I shook my head as I smiled and flirted, batted my eyelashes towards Kai’s direction and ran my hands through my hair. A few men started to dance their way towards us, but stopped when suddenly Baekhyun Oppa, Donghae Oppa, Yunho Oppa and Minho Oppa came towards my friends and started dancing with their corresponding girlfriends.

I was about to get out of the dance floor, because I suddenly felt so single with all my friends having their boyfriends dancing with them, when firm hands suddenly came down my hips. For a second, I thought some crazy pervert suddenly had the gall to make a move on me despite having my friends and their boyfriends around, but then a voice I’m so familiar with suddenly spoke close to my left ear.

**“I think you’ve had to much to drink.”** It was Seungwoo.

**“I think you’re the one who’s had too much to drink seeing how you danced almost naked on that stage.” **

We were still dancing. Seungwoo’s hands were still on my waist as we moved in sync. Kai was suddenly nowhere in sight.

**“Looking for that guy?”** He asked as he turned me around.

_You say we’re just friends_

_But friends don't know the way you taste, la la la_

**“Why? You jealous?”** I challenged.

_'Cause you know it's been a long time coming  
Don't you let me fall_

**“I don’t know.”** Seungwoo said.

I stopped dancing and so did he. I wanted to walk away from him, from this. Because my heart is breaking as the seconds ticked.

_Ooh, when your lips undress me  
Hooked on your tongue_

I tried to move away, but his hands won’t let go of me.

_Ooh love, your kiss is deadly  
Don't stop_

Seungwoo’s hands suddenly traveled from my waist to the hands on my side. He held my hands and placed them on his neck. His hands returned to where they were before and he started swaying again to the music and he moved my hips using his hands.

We didn’t break eye contact as we danced and let the music take over. The way his hands held my waist felt like he was marking his territory.

_Why would he?_

_I hate that his actions make me think more than what he’s really meaning._

**“I see you’ve changed clothes.” **Seungwoo’s eyes roamed on my body. I looked away because he might see me blushing from his perusal of my body, but he held my chin and made me look back at him. **“I wanted you to change clothes so that your legs won’t show that much. But now I think I’d have preferred your dress from earlier than showing your waist.”**

**“Why are you like this?”** I really think the alcohol is melting my brain because I asked him such a question. Normally, I would’ve joked that he was old-fashioned or conservative when it comes to me.

**“Because I hate the way other guys are staring at you. It’s ass if they’re undressing you with their stares.” **He said so seriously that I could’ve sworn I can hear a hint of bitterness in his voice.

**“Why do you hate it?” **I challenged once again

**“I don’t know.”** I suddenly felt mad that he’s doing this. Dancing with our bodies so close together. Seungwoo being so possessive and acting like a jealous boyfriend. But when he’s suddenly asked why he does things, the only thing he can say is that he doesn’t know why.

I pushed him as hard as I could and walked out on him.

_Ooh, I should be running_ _  
Ooh, you keep me coming for you_

I was so frustrated with what was happening. This was supposed to be a fun night, but Seungwoo’s ruining it with his mood swings. I went to the comfort room once again and looked in the mirror seeing my flushed face, this time not from embarrassment but from anger.

My friends followed me and asked me what happened.

**“Seungwoo’s an idiot.”** I said, to which they all agreed to immediately.

**“I swear to God, I can’t understand that guy! He’s so protective that sometimes he’s becoming possessive as if he’s my boyfriend and when you ask him why he does that, the only thing he says is _‘I don’t know’_! Shit!”**

**“Language.”** Tae Unnie said, but she still tried to comfort me.

**“Sorry.”**

**“Maybe you should talk this out when you’re both sober, huh?”** Yoona Unnie said as she patted my back.

Maybe the alcohol was really getting to me, because I barely get mad at Seungwoo acting like that.

**“Vodka is so not good for anyone.”** Yuri crossed her arms around her chest and huffed.

After a few more deep breaths and some more encouraging words from my friends, I can feel the anger dissipate.

_I hate that no matter how angry I am at Seungwoo, my anger disappears almost instantly._

**“It’s okay if you want to go back, Yoonhye. It’s already late. We can just say you need to rest.”** Hyoyeon suggested and I smiled at her suggestion.

**“Okay.”** I said as I nodded.

When we got out, the music was stopped and we could hear angry shouts from the dancefloor. We hurriedly went to the area where the shouts were coming from and I could see Seungwoo being held by Hangyul and Seungyoun, Minhyun being held by Jisung Oppa and Daniel, and Kai with Baekhyun and Donghae Oppa.

**“What the f*ck is your problem?!” **Kai shouted towards Seungwoo.

As I looked at each of the three guys, all of them had cuts by their lips. Seungwoo’s cheek is even starting to bruise.

**“What happened?”** I asked as I looked at the people who were definitely stunned.

**“This guy suddenly punched me in the face.”** Kai said as he pointed a finger at Seungwoo while still being held by the two guys.

**“And I just tried to stop him when he punched me as well.”** Minhyun said as he shook off Daniel and Jisung Oppa’s hold on him. They let him go when they know he wasn’t gonna go towards Seungwoo.

Donghae Oppa and Baekhyun Oppa also let go of Kai.

**“I’m so sorry about this. I don’t know why he did that.”** I said to Kai before bowing.

**“It’s okay. Not your fault.” **Kai said as he walked out of the scene.

I sighed as I went towards Minhyun who is currently starting to have a nasty bruise on his right cheek.

**“I’m really sorry about all this.” **I bowed as well, but he held my shoulders to stop me from doing so.

**“It’s not your fault he’s stupid.”** Minhyun smiled before walking away.

The crowd almost dispersed immediately and the music came back on. I went towards Seungwoo’s direction and glared at him.

**“Care to explain to me why you caused a scene?”** I asked him with a raised brow.

He shook off Hangyul and Seungyoun’s hands that were holding him and he walked towards me.

**“You.” **Seungwoo said as he almost toppled over had it not been for the two guys’ fast reflexes.

**“I think you need to go home, Hyung.”** Seungyoun said as they escorted him towards the door.

I turned to my friends with apologetic eyes.

**“I’m sorry about that. That never should’ve happened.”**

**“Minhyun’s right. It’s not your fault Seungwoo’s stupid.”** Said Baekhyun Oppa as he put an arm around Tae Unnie’s shoulder.

**“You can’t just leave.” **Hyo whined as she knew what was definitely gonna happen.

**“He is stupid, so I can’t just let him go home on his own.”** I told them and bid each of them goodbye.

**“We can go home with you.”** Yoona Unnie said but I shook my head.

**“It’s not just our party. Hyo and Yuri also graduated, so you guys can’t leave. The night is still young so party.” **I smiled at them. **“Besides, you can’t just leave your boyfriends just because I’m going home.”**

They all reluctantly agreed but they headed outside to help me and Seungwoo get into a taxi.

**“Text us when you get home.”** Donghae Oppa said as he gave the fare for the car ride to the driver and headed back inside with Yoona Unnie.

**“Don’t forget to make that drunkard drink some water to get the alcohol out of his system.”** Yunho Oppa said as he walked back with Hyo.

**“Punch him at least once. Just to get back for Kai and Minhyun.” **Baekhyun Oppa said but Tae Unnie pinched his side.

**“Don’t listen to him. He’s crazy.” **Tae Unnie said and went inside as well.

**“But seriously, that guy is stupid.”** Minho Oppa said but Yuri rolled her eyes.

**“Says the guy who made a drunk confession on the phone.”**

When everyone got back inside, the taxi went on its way. Seungwoo was leaning his head on my shoulder.

**“Drunkard.”** I said, but I held his head in place so that it won’t move that much.

**“Your boyfriend is pretty wasted, Miss.”** The driver commented as he drove.

**“He’s not my boyfriend, _Ahjussi_.”** I clarified. Maybe it’s time to make this clear, especially to myself. **“He’s my best friend.”**

**“Really? But I could see that you two will look great together.” **The driver shrugged. **“Maybe someday.”**

_Maybe in another ‘nation’_. _My imagi’nation’ more like it._

** _To be continued…_ **

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congrats you've reached the end. This is the last chapter. Kidding. Leave some comments below and kudos. Thanks for reading! ^^


	8. Hate That I Love You - 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No summaries for now. Just... read at your own risk. XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the 'part'. kkkk Sorry if it's bad but I tried. Save me!

**Hate That I Love You – 8**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’s Trash**

**“Can you please carry yourself? You’re still heavier than me you know.”** I told Seungwoo as we walked through the hallway of our apartment building towards his unit.

**“What’s your passcode?” **I asked since the passcode I know from his previous apartment was always his birthday, but then changed it to something else when he moved to our building. He never told me his passcode for his unit and always insists on me ringing his doorbell whenever I’m coming over. Of course, this guy is just murmuring gibberish since he’s so drunk.

_I hate it when he gets this drunk and then you can’t really understand what he’s saying._

I rolled my eyes as I tried to look for his keys in his coat pocket. But since he was leaning most of his weight on me and I have his right arm on my shoulder so I could support him better, it’s hard to actually get his keys.

_I should’ve gotten his keys while we were still in the car._ I mentally sighed as I adjusted our position and his head dropped to my neck. This position was awkward as hell, but then I got a hold of his keys because I got closer to his other coat pocket.

I was about to insert the key into the keyhole but I suddenly froze as I felt his breath on my neck.

**“You smell nice.”** I dropped the keys when he sniffed my neck and suddenly nibbled on it.

**“Your skin is so soft.**” Seungwoo’s lips suddenly traveled to the left side of my jaw and I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped my lips as his lips grazed it.

**“All these should be mine and mine alone.” **His arm that was draped on my shoulder suddenly gripped me closer towards Seungwoo and my eyes involuntarily closed as his lips got dangerously close to my ears. My breath hitched when his left arm was suddenly around my waist and I was suddenly sandwiched between his body and he door of his apartment.

Seungwoo looked at me straight in the eyes. It’s like he’s really sober. Like he’s already gotten over his drunken state. He looked at my lips and I absentmindedly licked them because they suddenly felt so dry. His face got closer, as if he was intending to kiss me, when he suddenly covered his mouth and with eyes wide open from shock. He hurriedly punched the passcode to his door and ran inside with me almost falling back since I was leaning on the door.

I stood there in shock as I heard Seungwoo vomiting from inside the bathroom. I put my hand on my chest as I felt my heart beating so fast and hard. It feels like it’s gonna come out of my chest any time.

I shook my head, picked up the keys that had fallen to the ground and closed the door.

_What the heck just happened?_

I kept on asking myself as I walked towards the direction of the bathroom. The smell of alcohol and vomit was so strong that I scrunched up my nose as I went towards the cabinet where clean towels were located. I pulled out one small towel, wet it with water and headed towards Seungwoo, who was currently flushing the toilet bowl.

He sighed as he leaned against the bathroom wall. I handed him the towel and he wiped his face with it.

**“Gonna drink again?”** I asked him with a smirk.

He didn’t answer and instead tried to get up from where he was seated and I hurriedly went to his side when he looked like he might fall.

**“I’m okay.” **Seungwoo said acting all tough, but then couldn’t help but hold onto me for support. **“Okay. Maybe not that okay.”**

**“Tch.”**

Seungwoo went to the sink and washed his face and rinsed his mouth of the vomit. I went to get him another dry towel to dry his face after he was done.

I escorted him back out of the bathroom and into his room. He flopped down on his bed as he started removing his coat and started unbuttoning his shirt.

**“Yah!”** I told him as I hurriedly turned my back on Seungwoo and went towards his cabinet to get him a fresh shirt.

When I got back, he was seated on the edge of his bed with his shirt unbuttoned all the way and head hanging low.

**“Is he sleeping?”** I muttered to myself as I walked closer to him to remove his dirty shirt and tried to put the fresh one on him.

Suddenly, his hands came around my waist and I am now straddling his legs.

**“Yah!”** I shrieked as his hands held my hips securely.

**“I’m not sleeping.”** Seungwoo said, but you can tell he’s still drunk. **“I was thinking.”**

**“Well, you can do your thinking after you’ve put on a new shirt.”** Because he is currently shirtless and he is dangerously close to me.

**“You don’t like the view?” **Seungwoo asked me with a smile and I could’ve sworn my breath hitched at his boyish smile.

**“What are you talking about? Let me go.”** I tried to get up, but his hands wouldn’t let me go. In fact, he pulled me closer that now I am pulled flush against his chest.

**“I’m not letting you go.”** Seungwoo said as if he’s in a dream state. **“You’re mine.”**

Seungwoo’s lips crashed down on mine, fierce, demanding and possessive. I froze with eyes wide open.

**“Open up for me.” **He said against my lips and as if they were the magic words from Alibaba’s story, my eyes closed and I opened up, letting him claim me. My lips trembled against his mouth – _my first kiss._

Seungwoo pulled me even closer to his body, not even air could pass between us, as he nipped my lower lip. I gasped as his hands traveled from my waist to the inside of my blazer and roamed on my exposed back.

**“I hated it when I saw you wearing this after you changed out of your dress. Every guy looked your way and I wanted to punch each and every one of them. I wanted to pull out their eyes from their sockets.” **Seungwoo said as our lips parted for breath.

**“Is that why you punched Kai?”** I asked him, looking him in the eyes.

**“And that Minhyun. Don’t think I didn’t see you and him doing that _love shot._”** He corrected as his lips came swooping down mine again, this time I responded eagerly.

My palms came up against Seungwoo’s chest and traveled to his nape. His tongue teased my lips, demanding entrance. I gave in and hesitantly touched my tongue to his. I wasn’t sure what to do but he took lead, as his tongue and lips ravished my mouth. It was strange allowing that sort of intimacy, especially between <strike>friends</strike> best friends. But I didn’t care anymore as his hands started to remove my blazer leaving me in the black midriff my friends forced me to wear.

Seungwoo pulled back to look at me, and with hooded eyes, he cursed.

**“Don’t wear such revealing clothes next time. Do you know how you drove me insane with that dress from graduation and that outfit of yours tonight?”**

**“Oh.” **I think my eyes became as big as saucers. I thought he was just being conservative or protective of me when he told me not to wear that dress. **“I thought you didn’t like it.”**

**“Oh, I liked it. Way too much for my own good.” **Then his eyes roamed my body again and I suddenly had the urge to cover myself.

Before I could disentangle myself from him, he pulled my nape back and started kissing me again. I lost track of time as he kissed me, demanding and possessive, his hand warm against my cheek.

I could feel the restrained strength as his body pressed against me. My hands traveled to his hair and his lips moved from mine to my cheeks, jaws and onto my neck leaving a trail of wet kisses as he went down further. I sighed as I felt the tingle from his actions and he pulled the strap of my midriff to the side as he kissed his way down my shoulder. He moved to the other side and did the same to my other shoulder.

Seungwoo removed the midriff leaving me only with my bra on and I put my arms on his shoulders for strength. The way he looked at me made my knees feel weak. I’m thankful that I’m not standing right now because I would’ve fallen into a heap of mess had I been standing. His eyes became more hooded than ever.

He moved further into the bed, expertly carrying me with him and he laid down on his back with me on top of him. My hair cloaked us from the outside world and he tucked my hair behind my left ear.

**“Beautiful.”** Seungwoo whispered as he pulled me down once again and kissed me.

This time, his kiss was lazy and I could feel it slowing down as seconds passed by until he stopped moving altogether. I pulled back and saw that he had already fallen asleep but his hands were still firm on my back. I pulled away, but he pulled me tighter.

**“Don’t go. Don’t leave me.”** Seungwoo murmured in his sleep as he held me in place.

**“I have to change your clothes.”** I said and as I pulled away again, his hands were now loose.

I hurriedly went to the bathroom, locked the door, and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was disheveled, my lips were swollen and my cheeks were burning real bad. I took deep breaths to calm down my rapidly beating heart, but to no avail. I absently touched my lips.

_What just happened?_

The woman in the mirror didn’t have a clue, but my mind answered.

_You just had a hot make out session with your best friend aka the man you love!_

I gasped as the realization hit me. With wide eyes, I cursed.

**“Oh God.”** I groaned. I just kissed Seungwoo. Scratch that. We just had a <strike>hot</strike> drunk make out session. I slapped my forehead to try and get the image of us kissing out of my head but I couldn’t.

I wanted to vent out, but I can’t do it here. He could wake up any moment, I have to get out of here.

So I went back to his room, grabbed my midriff and blazer and put them on. I grabbed the fresh shirt I got for Seungwoo and put it on him. I placed his head on a pillow and removed his shoes and socks. As I was covering him with a blanket, I couldn’t help but find a bulge in his pants. I quickly looked away and covered him with the blanket.

_He was turned on?_

Even though I was inexperienced, I knew an erection when I see one. I’m a doctor for crying out loud. It’s a normal response when you’re turned on.

_Does that mean he was turned on by me?_

I asked myself again as I headed to my room and laid in my bed but couldn’t sleep. Sleep evaded me as thoughts of our make out session, the way his hands and lips felt on me, and the thought that we just kissed clouded my mind. I felt myself blush again as I remembered how he looked at me earlier.

_Ugh! Save me!_

**“Girl, you’ve been dozing off. Did you get any decent sleep?”** Tae Unnie asked as she sat down at the table and handed me a cup of coffee.

**“Barely.”** I just said as I sipped it.

Barely meant 30 minutes at most. What happened last night kept on bugging me. Actually, what happened the whole day bugged me. From Seungwoo’s aloofness with my dress for graduation that turned out to be too much for his liking to what happened at the bar where we danced and he punched not only one but two guys who flirted with me last night. That teasing he did by the door of his unit and the way he kissed me and I kissed him back. His body’s reaction to what we just did. What did they all mean?

**“Sorry you couldn’t enjoy last night. Seungwoo was stupid.”** Yoona Unnie said with a frown.

I wanted to say that I enjoyed last night, but if I say that out loud, they might think I’m crazy. The events last night that we were referring to were totally different and I’m not ready to tell them about what happened last night at Seungwoo’s apartment.

**“I think I’ll go back to sleep. It’s not like I have anything to do today anyway.” **I got up and went back to my room. They gave bewildered looks but I was beyond caring because suddenly sleep was calling me.

As I flopped down on my bed, I heard my phone buzz from the nightstand.

I was too sleepy to even bother reading it.

_I’ll just read it later._

I yawned and my eyes closed almost immediately.

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh! I can't believe I wrote that. Sorry if it was lame. Never really had experience writing something like this. HAHAHAHA. Save me! *hides in the corner*


	9. Hate That I Love You - 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate that when I am sick, he’s always there to take care of me. What…? What is going on? I hate that he can be so persistent sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... First of all, sorry for the delay. /facepalm/ I was supposed to post this last Thursday but I had to go somewhere and I couldn't use my laptop for two days. So. Here it is! Thank you for waiting! I'm so happy people are reading this! Akkk!! Hugs to all of you! :*

**Hate That I Love You – 9**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’sTrash**

I woke up to my lower abdomen hurting. I got up immediately and went to my bathroom.

_It’s that time of the month._ I thought to myself as I looked at the calendar.

I put a pad and changed my underwear.

**“Hell days here I come.”** I moaned as I got out of the bathroom and flopped down on my bed.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table. _6 PM._ I slept the whole day. I scoffed and looked at my phone because I remembered that it buzzed earlier.

_Battery dead._ I groaned as I got out of bed to plug it in.

I swear to God, I hate moving around when I have my period. My cramps get worse while moving around. Luckily my phone cord is long so I opened my phone while charging.

Yes. Not very ideal for one’s phone batteries, but it’s not like everyone follows that rule about not using your phone while charging.

Once my phone booted up, messages kept on popping in my notification.

_From: Seungwoo_

_Hey_

_You awake?_

_Hey_

_Sorry about last night._

_Damn _

_This is a mess_

_I’m coming over_

_So I came over, but your housemates won’t let me in_

_They said you’re asleep_

_You okay? _

_You’re not replying._

_I’m starting to worry_

_Park Yoonhye_

_Answer the damn phone_

_It’s 3PM, why are you still asleep?_

_4PM, still no reply?_

_Are you mad because of last night?_

_I’m sorry I did that_

Suddenly, his face popped up on my screen. He’s calling.

Am I really up to talk to Seungwoo right now? Am I ready to talk to him about last night?

Does he even remember what happened last night? _Ugh!_

I was about to ignore it when I accidentally touched the answer button.

_Shit!_

** _“Finally! You’re awake!”_ **

**“Hey.”**

** _“You okay? You don’t sound so good.”_ **

**“I’m fine. Just tired from last night.”**

** _“Look. Yoonhye. Uhhh… Can we talk?”_ **

**“But we’re already talking.” **I told him, trying to lighten up the mood.

** _“Not through the phone. But in person.”_ **

I sighed. **“Do we really have to?”**

** _“We have to. But I can’t go to your place. The two noonas won’t let me in.”_ **

**“You can come in. They’re gone. They have dates today.”** I told him and I can actually hear him getting up and wearing his slippers.

** _“Be there in a minute.”_ **

I ended the call and took a deep breath.

I don’t think I’m ready for a confrontation with Seungwoo when I’m having menstrual cramps.

After a few minutes, Seungwoo’s head peeked through my door and he frowned when he looked at me.

**“You don’t just look tired.”** He said as he got close to my bed. **“It’s that time of the month isn’t it?”**

I was curled up in my bed, trying to ease the pain caused by the cramps.

**“I’ll be fine. It’ll pass like it always does.”** The bed dipped beside me as he sat down.

**“You fool.” **Seungwoo muttered as he pushed the hair from my face. I was sweating and I know I don’t look good.** “I’ll cook you food so that you can drink some medicine.”**

He touched my cheek before getting up, tucking me better under the sheets, and going out of the room.

_I hate that when I am sick, he’s always there to take care of me._

I moaned as the pain brought about sheer agony. It’s only the first day, the second day was much worse, especially if I don’t take the medicine given by my doctor. I curled into a tighter ball to try and suppress the pain, but it still didn’t help.

During times like this, I always want to cry out for my Mom. She always knows what to do and what to say to comfort me.

**“Hey.” **Seungwoo touched my shoulder and I looked up at him, only moving my head to see him.** “You have to lie down on your back. Put this on your lower abdomen.”**

I shook my head and pouted like a kid. **“Moving makes it worse.”**

**“I know.”** He said, his brow furrowed with worry. **“But you know hot compress will ease the pain.”**

I groaned as he carefully helped me lie down on my back. He pulled down the blanket and placed the water bag on my lower abdomen. As the heat started seeping into my body, I sighed as the pain gradually decreased. The pain was still there, but it was more bearable now.

**“Get some more rest. I’ll bring the food once I’m done.”** Seungwoo put the blanket in place again and pushed away my hair from my face.

**“I feel like a baby.”** I pouted again and to my surprise, Seungwoo gave me a chaste kiss.

**“It’s because you are a baby when you’re sick.”** He then stood up and got out of my room, closing the door behind him.

_What…?_

I blinked as I looked at the ceiling.

_Did he just kiss me again?! Is he still hung over? Did he drink before coming here?!_

I think I’ve forgotten the pain in my abdomen because of what Seungwoo just did.

What the hell?! I just spent last night thinking about what happened but then reasoned out that he was just drunk and what happened was just because of the alcohol. But this kiss, albeit being a chaste kiss it’s still called a kiss, what do I make of it?

Suddenly, it started raining. It thundered and there was lightning as well.

_What is going on?_

My phone suddenly rang and I saw that it was Yoona Unnie.

** _“Yoonhye. You okay?”_ **

**“Yeah. I’m fine, Unnie. Why did you call?”**

** _“I don’t think I can make it home. Donghae Oppa’s not letting me go home in this weather especially since it’s late. So I’ll stay over at his place. Will you be okay? My calendar just made a reminder.”_ **

_Right._ My housemates have my period on their calendar because they freaked out when they saw me once on the floor because of the pain from my cramps. So they’ve made it their duty to make sure at least one of them is at home with me when it’s that time of the month.

**“I’m okay, Unnie. I’ll just eat my pain meds and go to sleep. Enjoy your night with Donghae Oppa.” **I said with a teasing tone.

**_“Yah!”_** Yoona Unnie said and I just laughed.

**_“Will she be fine?”_** I could hear Donghae Oppa in the background.

**“Tell Oppa I’ll be fine.”** I said before ending the call.

Tae Unnie was the next to call. Same situation. It’s already flooding outside Baekhyun Oppa’s apartment and Unnie couldn’t get back home. I just assured her that I’ll be fine.

**“Hey. Time to eat.”** Seungwoo was back with a tray of food. **“How’s the pain?”**

**“Better.”** I said weakly. There’s still pain, but the hot compress made it a little better.

Seungwoo helped me sit up before placing the tray on the bed.

**“Eat.”** He spooned the porridge and was about to spoon-feed me when I stopped him.

**“I can eat on my own.”** I said as I took the spoon from him and started eating.

He sighed as he got up and went to the bathroom to get the medicine.

Thinking of the bathroom and Seungwoo made me remember the events from last night again and I absentmindedly shoved a spoonful of hot porridge.

**“Hoo! Hoo!”** I said as I tried to cool the food in my mouth.

Seungwoo was suddenly beside me and handed me a glass of water.

**“You should’ve blown on it first to cool it down before eating.” **He took the bowl and blew on it.

**“It’s okay.”** I said, but I think I burned a few taste buds because of the porridge.

**“Doctors are really the worst patients.”** Seungwoo sighed as he put the bowl back down and gave me an exasperated look.

I gave him a dumbfounded look. **“Says the guy who overworked his knee after an injury.”**

Seungwoo got injured in high school while playing soccer. He even got surgery for it. But this stupid man went to school earlier than the recommended time for healing by the doctor.

**“That’s a different case. I hadn’t dreamed of being a doctor back then. Right now, you’re already a graduate and will soon intern.”**

**“Tch.” **I just said because I know he was right.

After I finished half of the porridge, I argued with Seungwoo because I couldn’t eat any more.

**“This is why you’re thin.”** He said disapprovingly but he knows I won’t be eating another bite and just gave me the medicine.

After drinking it, I know it will still take some time before it takes effect. But I’m just glad I’ll feel a lot better after a while.

Seungwoo left to bring the tray to the kitchen and clean up. He took the water bag since it’s gone cold. When he got back, I was lying on my back again. He placed the newly re-heated water bag on my lower abdomen again and sat down beside me.

**“What time will the two noonas be back?”** He asked as he wiped my sweat from earlier with a towel.

**“Probably tomorrow.”** I said. **“They’re stuck because of the rain.”**

**“So you’ll be alone for the night?” **

I nodded.

**“I’m staying here.”**

**“What?!” **I looked at him as if he was crazy.

**“Someone’s gonna have to stay with you and watch over you since your cramps can be horrible.”** I knew I shouldn’t have told him about me having menstrual cramps and how bad they can get.

**“Look, I’ll be fine. I took the meds and I have the water bag. I’ll probably be asleep the whole night. You should go back to your place.”** I told him. Of course, I wanted to tell him it’ll be weird if he stays over, but I can’t.

I mean, he’s stayed over a couple of times before. But either Tae Unnie or Yoona Unnie or both are at home when he sleeps over. That was also before he moved beside our place.

**“We still have to talk. So it’s a double the purpose.”** Seungwoo said seriously. **“And with you being in bed, you won’t be able to run away.”**

**“That’s not fair.”** I was about to pout, but then I remembered what happened earlier.

**“So you want this awkwardness to remain between us?”** He challenged.

I sighed in resignation.

_I hate that he can be so persistent sometimes._

**“But first.”** I said as I sat up. Seungwoo helped me do it. **“Grab the first aid kit and an ice pack.”**

He gave me a questioning look but he just followed what I said. With an ice pack in one hand and the first aid kit in the other, I scooted over so he can sit better on the bed.

**“What do you need these for?”** Seungwoo asked as he handed me the first aid kit and ice pack. He re-adjusted the hot pack’s position.

I wrapped the ice pack in a towel and placed it on his cheek. It was swollen.

**“Who gave you this?”** I asked him as I took his hand and let him hold the ice pack.

**“Probably Minhyun.”** He said trying to recall last night’s events.

I took out the alcohol and some cotton swab.

**“Come closer, please. This doctor kinda has limited movement options.”** Seungwoo scooted closer and I leaned forward. I dabbed the alcohol to his lip cut.

**“Shit!”** He cursed and I laughed at him. **“You did that on purpose.”**

**“Serves you right for punching someone without any valid reason.” **Then I remembered he punched Minhyun as well. **“Two guests.”**

**“I have a valid reason and you know that.”** Seungwoo said while looking directly into my eyes and my hands froze as I was about to place some Betadine on his cut.

**“Valid reason or not, you shouldn’t have done that.”** I dabbed the cotton a bit too hard and Seungwoo leaned away as he fanned his lip.

**“Doctors are the worst patients.”** I copied his tone and shook my head.

I placed everything back into the first aid kit and placed it onto my night table.

When I looked back at Seungwoo, he was just staring at me.

_Okay. Awkward._

**“I think it’s time we talk about what happened last night.”** He said so seriously.

**“But we already did. You punched two guests without valid reason. You didn’t even apologize yet.” **I said.

**“They flirted with you. I thought I already told you that. But I wasn’t talking about what happened in the bar.”**

I think my heart just stopped. _He remembers._

**“I was talking about what happened in my apartment last night.” **Then Seungwoo looked me in the eyes. **“From the hallway to my bedroom.”**

_Oh. Shit._

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wish granted? He remembers. Hihi. Chapter 10, still ongoing. Sorry! >.<


	10. Hate That I Love You - 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh. Shit.  
I hate how his persistence can sometimes be the cause of my embarrassment.  
I hate that his words always manages to break my heart.  
I hate that he can always lighten my mood whenever I feel so down.  
I hate that he’s enjoying my embarrassment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! First of all. I'm sorry I can't reply to all your comments. But I REALLY read them all! Thank you for following this story of mine. HUHU I appreciate all your thoughts. xoxo

**HTILY – 10**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’sTrash**

**“I was talking about what happened in my apartment last night.” **Then Seungwoo looked me in the eyes. **“From the hallway to my bedroom.”**

_Oh. Shit._

My heart suddenly started beating fast. He remembers!

I sat there quietly, with my hands on the water bag, hoping for the medication to work right now so that I’ll fall asleep and I won’t have to go through this confrontation.

**“Remember last night?”** Seungwoo asked. I continued looking at my hands and didn’t respond to him.

**“We have all night, Yoonhye. I can be very persistent if I want to. “**

_I hate how his persistence can sometimes be the cause of my embarrassment._

**“Nothing. I remember nothing.” **Of course that is a complete lie. I clearly remember how his hands roamed around my body. How his lips ventured from my lips to my cheeks, jaws, neck and shoulders. How close we’ve come to almost actually doing the deed.

Seungwoo’s hand was suddenly on my chin and he turned my face to look at him.

**“Say that again while looking into my eyes and not blushing.”** He looked at me straight in the eyes.

My heartbeat suddenly became so erratic. I hope he can’t feel how much his stare and touch is affecting me right now.

I looked away. Anywhere else aside from Seungwoo’s searching eyes.

**“I’m sorry.” **I suddenly looked back at him again when he said that. **“I’m sorry for kissing you.”**

_I hate that his words always manages to break my heart._

I’m just waiting for the words ‘it was a mistake’, and I might just start bawling my eyes out in front of Seungwoo. It was so cliché and I never thought I’d get to be at the receiving end of those words.

**“It was a mistake.”** I pulled my face away from his touch and looked away.

**“Just go back to your apartment, Seungwoo. Forget whatever it is that happened and let’s act like nothing happened.”** He needs to get out before the tears start to form in my eyes. I can’t let him see me like this.

Seungwoo stood up, and I looked down again. I heard the sound of the door of my room close. The tears suddenly started falling freely as they ended up on my hands. My shoulders started shaking as I sobbed.

I was suddenly pulled into a pair of very familiar arms as he hugged me tight. He didn’t leave. I guess the shock caused my tears to suddenly stop. Even my sobbing stopped.

**“Don’t cry. I’m so sorry.”** Hearing Seungwoo say those words caused my tears to fall again.

I just clung onto him and cried onto his shoulder.

**“Don’t. You did nothing wrong.” **I said in between sobs.

Because in reality, he really did nothing wrong. It’s not his fault he broke my heart unknowingly. It’s not his fault that I fell in love with him. It’s not his fault that he couldn’t love me back.

Seungwoo pulled away a bit, but not too much. I was still sobbing as the tears continued falling. He reached out and wiped the tears that were falling down.

**“I swore to your parents that I won’t ever let you cry. That I will kill the bastard who made you cry.” **I closed my eyes as I relished in the feeling of his hands on my cheeks as he wiped the stream of tears falling down. **“But can I just break that promise for now? I can’t die by my own hands. It’s hard to strangle myself to death. I’ll just look like a crazy person.”**

I couldn’t help but chuckle when he said that.

_I hate that he can always lighten my mood whenever I feel so down._

**“I hate you.”** I told him.

Seungwoo nodded. **“I know.”**

He let go of my cheeks and I was suddenly pulled into his lap.

**“YA!” **I looked at him incredulously as he put his arms around me, perfectly caging me in his arms. **“Let me go.”**

**“Why are you always telling me to let you go? I just told you last night that I’m not letting you go because you’re mine.” **Seungwoo gave me a serious look. There was no mirth in his eyes. No indication that he was just joking right now.

He sighed and leaned his forehead on my shoulder.

**“You crying is not part of how I envisioned this conversation to go.” **I remained silent in his arms. He groaned. He sounded so frustrated. At himself? At me? I don’t know. **“I thought you’d punch me or slap me. I never expected to make you cry.”**

**“Ya. I’m okay. It’s probably my hormones too. I’m on my period, remember?”** I told him and he looked up.

There it was again. That look. I had to look away.

Seungwoo sighed as he hugged me tighter. **“I’m sorry—” **I cut him off this time.

**“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Stop apologizing. It’s not your fault. It’s probably just because of the alcohol.” **

**“No. It’s not okay.”** I tried struggling from his hold. I was starting to get frustrated. How am I supposed to talk to him like this? With him this close to me!

**“It’s not okay that I kissed my best friend while I was drunk and jealous.”** I stopped struggling when I heard that and I looked at him. _Were my ears deceiving me?_

**“What?”**

**“You heard me.” **Seungwoo loosened his hold around me and adjusted my position so I was facing him. He held my face in his hands and looked straight into my eyes. **“I’m apologizing because I kissed you while I was drunk and angry because I was jealous. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry the situation wasn’t so ideal. My emotions got the best of me. I was so mad when I saw you do that _love shot_ with that Minhyuk—”**

**“Minhyun.”** I corrected him.

**“Whatever.”** Seungwoo rolled his eyes. **“And then while I was on my way to you when I got down from the stage after doing the ‘Havana’ performance, you were dancing with your friends to ‘Señorita’ like some girl possessed by Aphrodite. I saw that friend of Baekhyun Hyung suddenly eyeing you and you returned his gaze. My jealousy clouded my logic and when you asked me why I was doing those things, I wasn’t able to answer you properly. I was so confused. You asked me if I was jealous. You hit the mark like how you hit all those 10s in archery. I was filled with so much jealousy, yet I answered with ‘I don’t know’.”**

_He was jealous._ Mt ears weren’t deceiving me! What am I supposed to do with this information?! My heart started picking up again. Way faster than before.

**“When you pushed me away, my jealousy suddenly turned to anger. My anger towards my indecision got directed at Kai, who was suddenly in my line of sight. I punched the bastard. Just remembering how he looked at you made my blood boil. Then that other guy, Minhyuk tried to stop me but I just punched him as well. I remembered how he did that love shot with you and how he always gave you that look whenever you were in his radar. He fought back and that’s how I got this on my cheek. Our friends suddenly came to stop us.”**

He punched the two guys I interacted with last night because he was jealous.

_Han Seungwoo was freaking JEALOUS!_

**“His words still ring in my mind ‘til now. ‘You’re stupid for lying to yourself’. Those were his exact words.”**

So maybe that was why everyone called him stupid last night.

**“And I couldn’t ask him what he was talking about because you suddenly came back. Then we got back to the apartment. You smelled so nice last night, I couldn’t help myself. I was just supposed to tease you while you were opening the door but–”**

**“YAH!”** I frowned at him and I couldn’t help but pout. I remembered how he nuzzled my neck by his door. Ugh!

Seungwoo’s lips suddenly swooped down on mine and gave me a chaste kiss again.

I immediately covered my lips with my hands and frowned at him. He pinched my cheeks as he smiled cheekily.

**“Cute.”**

**“Yah!”** It sounded so muffled because I was still covering my lips as I said it.

**“As I was saying, before you pouted and tempted me.” **I was about to argue that I didn’t tempt him in any way, but it would be too hard to talk with my mouth covered so I just continued scowling at him.

Seungwoo had the gall to chuckle with my dilemma. _Ugh!_

_I hate that he’s enjoying my embarrassment._

**“Sorry. You just look cute when I’m teasing you.”** He removed my hands from my lips. **“I promise you I won’t kiss you again. Not unless you ask me to.”**

I nodded. Prodding him to continue with his explanation as to why the things that happened last night happened. My heart was beating so fast and he’s currently holding my wrists. I’m sure he can feel how fast my heartbeat was right now.

Seungwoo suddenly looked somber.

**“I’m sorry but I can’t forget about what happened last night. We can’t go back to being just best friends after this. Not when I’m always feeling territorial with you like I’m some alpha male. Not when we’ve kissed like that last night.”**

I blushed again after remembering what happened last night. I tried to look away, to hide my embarrassment, but Seungwoo held my face in place.

**“There’s no need to get shy with what happened last night.” **He smiled at me. That Snoopy smile of his moving to its place. **“And I just want to clarify why I apologized. I’m sorry that I kissed you out of my stupid jealousy. I’m sorry that I kissed you under those circumstances. But I never regret kissing you because I like you.”**

My heart must’ve faltered because I think I stopped breathing. I blinked a couple of times. Digesting what he just said.

_I never regret kissing you because I like you._

**“Hey, you okay?”** Seungwoo asked, slightly shaking me.

I still can’t believe my ears.

_Wha…t?_

**“I like you, Park Yoonhye.”** He answered my unspoken question, then he kissed my forehead.

**“I thought you said you won’t kiss me unless I asked you to?” **I whined. Because I was about to absorb everything he said when he suddenly kissed my forehead. Now my mind is a mess again.

Seungwoo hugged me and buried his face on my neck. He took a deep breath and shuddered when he released it.

**“I’m scared of losing you, if that’s what you’re thinking.” **He said, still remaining in that position.

_Actually, I was still in the part where you kissed me in the forehead and told me you liked me._

Seungwoo suddenly chuckled.

I frowned because he was so weird. He was so serious one moment then he chuckled the next.

**“I think the pain meds are starting to work. You just said those words out loud.”**

Seungwoo released me and moved the covers. He helped me lie down, placed the water bag on my abdomen and tucked me under the covers.

**“Let’s continue this tomorrow.” **Then he looked like he suddenly remembered something. **“Maybe the day after tomorrow.” **

He probably said something else, but the medicine must’ve really started working because I couldn’t keep track of what he was saying.

**“Goodnight.”** Seungwoo laid down beside me, but on top of the covers.

I turned to my side and snuggled close to him. I used his arm as my pillow, sighed comfortably and finally gave in to sleep.

**“Night.” **I mumbled and I vaguely remember Seungwoo kissing my forehead, but I wasn’t so sure it really happened.

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Chapter 11 to be posted in a few minutes. *winks*


	11. Hate That I Love You - 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No need for summaries this time. *winks*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is Chapter 11. Told you it will be quick. ^^

**Hate That I Love You – 11**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’sTrash**

**“What’s going on here?!” **I jolted awake when I heard the outraged voice of Tae Unnie and looked around, disoriented.

**“Noona, it’s not what you think.”** I looked to the side of my bed and saw Seungwoo on his knees, arms raised in the air.

_Huh?_

**“Then, pray tell. What is it that you’re saying I’m thinking?”** Tae Unnie has her hands on her waist, looking like a very angry mother hen.

**“I just stayed the night because she had cramps.”**

I sat up and removed my hair from my face.

**“What’s going on? Why are you on your knees?”** I looked at the two of them.

**“I think I should be the one asking you two that question.”** Tae Unnie tapped her right foot on the floor. **“I just saw the two of you in bed. You were in his arms. Tell me what the heck happened last night when I was gone.”**

What _did_ happen last night?

I tried to look through my hazy memory about what happened last night.

_I like you._

I blushed at the memory.

_Oh. My. God._

**“See? You’re blushing.” **Tae Unnie raised her brow.

**“_Aniyo, _Unnie.” **I told her and frantically waved my hands to tell her it’s not like that.

**“Noona, I–” **Seungwoo tried to speak but Tae Unnie gave him a sharp look.

**“To think I allowed you to stay the night before because I know you wouldn’t do anything to Yoonhye. But now I find you guys in such a compromising position? What would your parents think of me? That I’m allowing their daughter to do things with her best friend? They entrusted you to my care.”**

_What compromising position?_

I vaguely remember sleeping on the bed with Seungwoo on top of the covers and I snuggled to him and used his arm as my pillow.

**“It would’ve been different had you two been dating…”** she murmured, but I clearly heard her and so did Seungwoo.

**“Unnie!” **I whined and pouted at her.

**“Wae?!”** she squinted her eyes at me.

Seungwoo put his hands down and stood up.

**“We’re still talking about that part last night, Noona. But Yoonhye’s medicine made her loopy so I just let her sleep.”** I looked at him and so did Tae Unnie.

**“You’re thinking about dating one another?”** Tae Unnie looked taken aback and so did I.

Did we even get to that conversation? Or was I really losing track of a very important conversation last night?

_Ugh!_

**“Yes.” **Seungwoo suddenly put his hand on his neck, nervous. **“If she agrees.”**

My jaws literally dropped.

_WHUT?!_

**“Okay then.”** Then Tae Unnie suddenly left, but not before giving Seungwoo a pat on the shoulder and the words _‘good luck’ _with a wink.

**“So…” **Seungwoo started as he looked back at me.

I closed my mouth and swallowed.

**“I wasn’t dreaming last night?”** I don’t know if the question was directed at me or at him. Maybe both?

**“You weren’t dreaming.” **Seungwoo sat down on the bed and touched my left cheek. I could feel the zing of electricity from where he held my cheek.

**“You like me?”** I asked him.

He chuckled and gave me that beautiful smile of his. **“I like you.” **

**“Why?”** Okay. Now that just sounded stupid.

**“Because you’re Park Yoonhye.”** Seungwoo said as if being _me_ was the answer itself.

I blinked, trying to digest what he just said.

Seungwoo smiled again, this time his Snoopy smile became sad.

**“I know this is weird because we’ve been best friends since we were kids. Plus, I’m scared that this might not work out and I end up losing my best friend. But I’m sure if I didn’t tell you now, I’d make a lot more mess of things in the future and lose you either way. So I figured, why not at least try? Just so I won’t regret anything.”**

I was speechless. I can finally understand where he was coming from. Why he looked so scared right now. Why he sounded so hesitant. Because I’ve been too familiar with this dilemma. Always scared of crossing that boundary between friends and lovers. It’s the reason why I’ve kept my feelings hidden from Seungwoo. I’m scared I’d lose him.

My hands came around him and I buried my head in his chest.

**“I just told you yesterday that you won’t ever lose me.” **I looked up at him and smiled. **“I like you too.”**

Seungwoo drew in a sharp breath. **“You do?”**

_I love you. _I should’ve told him these words instead. But I think telling him I like him is enough for now.

I nodded. **“I like you too, Han Seungwoo.”**

Seungwoo’s arms suddenly pulled me closer to him and he buried his face on my neck.

**“Thank you.”** He chuckled as he took a deep sigh of relief.

I pulled away and looked at him with a bewildered gaze. **“Why?”**

**“For reciprocating my feelings.”** Seungwoo pulled me against him once again. **“Ahhh. You don’t know how happy I am right now.”**

I laughed at him.

**"Hmm. Yoonhye?" **

**"Hmm?"**

**"I can't quite remember what happened last night. Can we re-make that scene in my bed?"**

That earned him a smack at the back of his head.

**"Yah! HAN SEUNGWOO!"**

But he just laughed and hugged me again.

_Tch. This guy._

_But... Thank you, too. For liking me back, Han Seungwoo._

_Fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it really the end of their story?
> 
> I just wanted to pull your legs. HAHAHA
> 
> To be continued...
> 
> Onto Chapter 12 then? *winks*


	12. Hate That I Love You - 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New characters are going to be introduced. ^_^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. this is sort of Part 2 of Hate That I Love You? Didn't want to separate the story into two parts so I'm writing it as just one whole story. ^^ Hope you'll like it!

**Hate That I Love You – 12**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’sTrash**

**“I’m bored. I don’t want to go to work.” **Seungwoo flopped down on my bed.

I’m in front of my vanity mirror and preparing to go to work today.

**“Yah. You said that yesterday.”** I rolled my eyes at him in the mirror as I finished putting on some foundation.

He sat up and looked at me through the mirror.

**“Why do you look so pretty today?” **Seungwoo got up and stood behind me. He pulled my hair back.

**“I have to present a case to my department head today. I have to look presentable.”** I put on some earrings and stood up. **“And you will drive me to work, remember? So get up.”**

**“I wanna play hooky today. With you.” **Seungwoo said in a childish voice as he pulled me in his arms.

**“I thought I just told you I’m presenting a case today?”** I pinched his cheeks and gave him a quick kiss. I pulled away immediately when he tried to chase my lips to prolong the kiss.

**“I’m gonna be late!”** I went to my closet to get my lab coat. **“Where’s your coat?” **

**“Car.”** He pouted as he grabbed the keys from his pocket. **“Let’s go.” **

I chuckled as I followed him out my room.

**“Unnies, we’re going!”** I waved them goodbye as we headed for work. They bid us goodbye back and told Seungwoo to drive safely.

We’ve been interning for 6 months now, at different hospitals, and Seungwoo’s been sending me to work everyday when our shifts match. I didn’t decline when he said that he’d send me to work because mine’s on the way and we’d get to have some quality time, no matter how short that is, during the drive to work.

I got into the car and I still saw Seungwoo sulking, but I just smiled as he started driving. He was so quiet the whole way, I just shook my head and smiled.

There were sides to Seungwoo that I discovered during these past 6 months, things I didn’t even know despite him being my best friend.

First of all, he’s such a clingy boyfriend. Ugh! He’s basically living in my room every time our days off would match. He goes to our unit everyday and he’s been telling me to move in with him, which I declined in a heartbeat! I’d be crazy to move in with him after 6 months of dating. We may have known each other since we were kids, but it’s weird to actually move in with him just like that.

_Don’t judge me! I still get butterflies when I’m with him! I’d probably die of heart attack if we live together! _ _ㅠ_ _._ _ㅠ_

Second, he’s really, _really_, territorial and he wasn’t kidding when he said that. Seungwoo had gone to my workplace to pick me up and he went to my department because I was still busy with endorsements.

I was in the middle of endorsing a patient, who had a tracheostomy surgery, when my _sunbae_, cut me off by asking me out on a date.

**“So, Yoonhye, when will you be finally be free to go out with me? I heard from the nurses you were single.”** Dr. Song was leaning on the station counter as he said that.

I would’ve rolled my eyes had he not been a _sunbae_ at work. But I just smiled and brushed if under the rug as I continued endorsing the patient.

**“So the patient is going to undergo radiotherapy after she’s stabilized—”** Dr. Song cut me off, again.

**“There’s this bar close by. They said it’s a nice place. Why don’t we swing by there some time?”**

**“Sorry, _Sunbaenim,_ but I’m busy.” **I smiled at him again and he just got closer to me, completely invading my personal space.

**“Girls like you will never get an offer like this again.”** Dr. Song said, uncomfortably close to my ear.

How I wish the nurses hadn’t been on rounds when I did my endorsements with Dr. Song. As much as possible, I didn’t want to be alone with him.

I was about to pull away when somebody spoke behind me.

**“The amended Labor Standards Act defines works harassment as an act of an employer or _employee_ that causes physical or mental suffering or worsens the working environment of another employee by taking advantage of his or her status or relationship within the workplace beyond the appropriate scope of work.” **I looked back and saw a very unamused Han Seungwoo looking so dashing in a black suit.

**“I’m sorry, Sir, but this area is off-limits to patients’ relatives.”** Dr. Song stood up straight and tried to look tall, which was nowhere near Seungwoo’s 6 feet height, even if he stands on his tiptoes.

**“And I believe that this hospital offers a safe working environment for every employee, especially my girlfriend’s.” **Seungwoo came to stand beside me and put one arm around my waist.

**“G-girlfriend?”** Dr. Song stammered.

**“Yes, Sir. Girlfriend.” **Seungwoo then looked at me and smiled. **“Ready to go, baby?”**

After what happened, Dr. Song never bothered me about going out again. He still give me the creeps though, but that’s part of the real world. You have to adjust to so many people around you, especially at work.

We arrived at the hospital parking lot and Seungwoo still hasn’t said a word.

**“I’m going.” **I said as I got out of the car carrying my things.

I pretended to walk away but then I turned around, and knocked on his window.

He opened his side of the window and gave me a questioning look.

**“See you later, baby.”** I teased him and I held his cheeks and kissed him, this time it was longer and gave him one last smack for good measure.

Seungwoo’s ears grew red. He always gets flustered when I call him ‘baby. It’s not our official endearment for one another. We use it more to tease the other and annoy the people around us.

**“Drive safely.”** I smiled at him and walked away.

I laughed to myself because of what I did. Being in a relationship with Seungwoo has made me more confident with myself.

**“Wait!”** I was suddenly turned around with a hand to my free hand and engulfed in his arms. With one hand on my left cheek the other on my waist, Seungwoo kissed me softly and full on the lips. I held onto his arm as I returned his kiss.

When we pulled away, he put his forehead on mine.

**“Good luck on the presentation, baby.”** He kissed me on the cheek and ran back to his car.

Now I’m the one left blushing!

_Damn you, Han Seungwoo! _But I couldn’t help the smile that crept up my lips as I entered the hospital.

Luckily by the time I presented my case, I was focused and didn’t make any mistakes in front of my department head.

**“Hey, Dr. Park.”** It was my _sunbae_ in the department, Dr. Jung. **“That was a nice presentation you did there.”**

**“Thank you, _sunbaenim._ I’m just glad I didn’t make a mistake while presenting it. Thank you for the key notes, by the way.”**

Dr. Leo Jung was born in the US. His Korean name is Jung Taekwoon. He’s one of the few sunbaenims in the hospital that I was comfortable with. He was quiet, but he was always there to lend you a helping hand whenever you need it.

**“My notes are nothing. It was all you.”** He winked at me and then left to go on his rounds.

**“Imagine having a hot boyfriend yet still flirts with someone else when he’s not around.”** That’s the conversation I heard when I entered the doctors’ lounge to put away my things in my locker.

The other interns stopped talking when they immediately saw me arrive. They gave me weird looks and continued whispering to themselves.

**“She’s lucky enough to have found a guy like him. Why is she still flirting with other guys?”** I heard Dr. Park Jiyeon say to Dr. Krystal Jung. We were in the same batch of interns and I don’t really understand what beef they have with me.

Where Dr. Leo Jung has this sweet quiet personality, his younger sister happens to be the exact opposite of him. Dr. Krystal Jung always made it apparent that she doesn’t like me. I don’t know why, but she does.

Dr. Park Jiyeon, on the other hand, hates me for two very childish reasons. First, she has a huge crush on Leo _sunbaenim_; she hates that I’m close with him_. _Second, she hates that we have the same last name. She hates that when someone calls ‘Dr. Park’, she’s the first one to respond but then I was actually the one being called.

_‘I’m sorry, Dr. Jiyeon. I should’ve called Dr. Park by her first name.’_

I mean, it could be annoying sometimes, but she doesn’t have to hate me because of it. And now, based on their hushed voices right now, I’m pretty sure I’m their person of interest.

**“And imagine that PDA I just saw this morning by the parking lot earlier. Someone doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘decency’.”**

I took a deep breath and was about to say something when Dr. Ahn Hyejin, better known as Dr. Hwasa, suddenly entered and spoke.

**“Well, _decency_, is saying something to the person in their face and not gossiping about them while their backs are turned.” **She dropped her charts on the table causing a loud clang making Jiyeon and Krystal to jolt in their seats. **“Am I right, Dr. Park? Oops. Sorry. Dr. Park Jiyeon?**

Jiyeon fumed in her seat while Krystal stood up.

**“How rude, Dr. Ahn! Let’s go, Jiyeon.”** Krystal said with a _hmmpf_ and went out of the lounge with Jiyeon tailing her.

**“And go get boyfriends of your own. You girls need to get laid!”** Hwasa shouted to them as the door closed.

I laughed when Hwasa looked at me with a smirk.

**“You’re mean.”** I told her and she just shrugged. Typical Hwasa, not giving a damn about the world.

**“You should stop letting them walk all over you, Yoonhye. They’re not gonna stop unless you retaliate yourself.”**

**“They’ll get bored with me. They’ll move on to someone else once new interns come in.” **I just shrugged at her and she groaned, probably frustrated at my answer.

**“This is why they like bullying you. You never fight back. Tch.”** Hwasa returned her attention to the charts in front of her.

**“I’ll get going then.”** I smiled as I headed out to do my rounds.

The whole day flew by in a flash after that. It was very busy in the pediatric department. Lots of unwell newborns. By the time I was clocking out, I was running out of battery both physically and mentally.

**“Rough day?” **It was Dr. Leo.

**“A little bit.”** I chuckled at him and sighed. **“I think I’d prefer presenting a case to Dr. Kim the whole day than insert another _umbicat_ to a baby.” **

**“You’ll get used to it. Besides, it’s sort of a farewell for you. Heard you’ll be on vacation for two weeks.”**

**“How did you know about that?”** I asked him.

Dr. Leo shrugged. **“I just heard the male nurses in the wards saying they won’t see the pretty Dr. Park Yoonhye for 2 weeks because she’ll be on vacation. Probably with her boyfriend.”**

**“See you in 2 weeks, _sunbaenim. _Hopefully by the time I come back, those unwell newborns are already sent home.”**

**“They’ll be sent home. Then a new batch will come to welcome you after 2 weeks.”** He teased and I frowned at him.

**“_Sunbaenim!”_** I pouted because I just imagined putting another _umbicat_ onto a newborn.

**“I’m kidding.”** Dr. Leo laughed and it was a like he’s a kid enjoying his time teasing me. It was a new side to Dr. Leo that I didn’t know.

**“You’re a bully.”** I stuck my tongue at him which made him laugh even more.

**“It’s because you’re so cute when you’re annoyed. You make that face.”** And then he made a face at me.

I tried to make an annoyed expression at how he imitated me and saying _‘sunbaenim’_ as well, but I ended up laughing because he looked ridiculous.

**“You look crazy.”** I shook my head.

**“Only when I’m with you.” **

There was silence that followed after he said those words.

_What?_

I wasn’t able to react to what he just said. I must be hearing things, right?

**“Eyyy~ _Sunbaenim, _you must be joking again, right?” **I laughed awkwardly as I said those words, but he didn’t respond. He just stood there quietly.

My phone suddenly rang and it was Seungwoo who was calling.

**“Hey!” **I think I might’ve answered a bit too enthusiastically.

**“You okay?” **I can hear him frowning through the phone.

**“Yeah! I’m alright. Where are you?” **I just wanted to get out of there ASAP.

**“At the main entrance. Have you clocked out yet?”**

**“Yeah. Be right there.”** I tried to make my voice sound natural, and if Seungwoo detected that there was something weird going on, he decided not to comment on that. Maybe she can tell him when they see each other.

**“Okay. See you! Careful on your way.” **

I smiled as I ended the call. Even with a few distance away, Seungwoo would always tell me to be careful wherever I was going.

**“_Sunbaenim, _I’ll go ahead.”** I said towards Dr. Leo and bowed. I was about to walk past him when he held my hand.

**“He’s not right for you.”** I looked at him, wide-eyed, after he said those words.

**“_Sunbaenim_, don’t be like this.”** I told him as I pulled my hand from his grasp, but wouldn’t let go.

**“You know who’s right for you? Me.”** I felt a chill ran down when he said that.

What happened to the sweet, gentle, and quiet _sunbae_ that I have come to grow fond of these past few months? He looks like a different person right now.

I tried to pull my hand again from his grasp, but still he wouldn’t let go.

**“He hasn’t even said he loves you.”** I looked at _sunbaenim_ incredulously. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. And he hit right at the mark. Seungwoo still hasn’t said he loves me.

I know he cares for me. He said he likes me. But never has he said that he loves me.

**“Oppa!” **We looked at Krystal, who was standing by the staircase.

Dr. Leo let go of my hand and I immediately walked away from him. My gaze moved from Krystal to Dr. Leo and I backed away as Krystal moved in to go to her brother’s side.

**“I’ve been looking all over the hospital for you!” **then she hooked her arm on her brother’s. She looked sweetly at her brother, but her gaze was serious when it met mine.

**“I’ll get going, _Sunbaenim, Dr. Krystal.”_** I bid them farewell in a hurry and went on my way to meet Seungwoo.

When I saw Seungwoo in the lobby, I went to him and immediately hugged him.

**“Hey! We just saw each other this morning. You missed me that much? Told you we should’ve played hooky today.”** He said as he chuckled, but he hugged me back.

I nodded. **“Let’s go. I’m so tired.”**

And then we were on our way back to the apartment.

At the red light, Seungwoo suddenly held my left hand and placed a kiss on it.

**“You okay?”** he asked for the nth time since we got inside the car.

**“Yeah. I’m good. I’m just so tired. And hungry.”** And it was true. Of course, it was only partly true. I couldn’t tell him that my trusted _sunbaenim_ just told me that he’s the one for me and I could still feel the way he held my hand in a grip and wouldn’t let go.

Maybe he was just joking? He’s been so nice to me. Maybe he just took the joke a bit too far this time.

**“Okay. I’ll cook you some food when we get to my apartment.”**

I looked at Seungwoo.

**“Why yours? You can cook at my place.”** I raised a brow at him.

**“Because your roommates will probably be there with their boyfriends. I want us to celebrate the eve of our 2 weeks vacation. Alone.”** He suddenly kissed me on the lips, which of course has me taken aback, and he started driving again with a boyish grin on his face.

**“Ya.”** And all I could do was laugh as he continued holding onto my hand.

I put his hand in between mine and leaned my cheek onto it and snuggled into it.

**“Park Yoonhye. If you don’t want us to get into an accident, stop doing that.”**

**“Tch. Fine.”** I smiled as I looked to the front of the car and watched as we went past by the streetlights.

I shoved the thoughts of what happened earlier with Dr. Leo at the back of my mind.

_Maybe he really was just joking._

** _To be continued…_ **

** Dr. Leo Jung (Dr. Jung Taekwoon)**

** **

**\- **Yoonhye's sunbae at work

\- One Yoonhye's close sunbaes

-Big brother of Dr. Krystal Jung

**Dr. Krystal Jung (Dr. Jung Soojung)**

** **

**\- **Dr. Leo Jung's little sister

\- Hates Yoonhye for reasons Yoonhye doesn't know

\- Friends with Dr. Park Jiyeon

**Dr. Park Jiyeon**

** **

**\- **Friends with Dr. Krystal Jung

\- Hates Yoonhye because they have the same last name and they're often mixed up at work when they're being called by their last name

\- Hates Yoonhye because she has a huge crush on Dr. Leo Jung and she sees that the two are close

**Dr. Hwasa Ahn (Ahn Hyejin)**

** **

**-** Girl crush in their hospital

\- Yoonhye's close friend in the hospital

\- Always there to back up Yoonhye when Krystal and Jiyeon gangs up against her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. What do you think of the new characters? Comment down below. Don't forget to give some love! Let's be moots on Twitter. You can find me at:  
@Sujux1sTrash   
@NumberZeroFan
> 
> I'm also writing Seungwoo AUs in these accounts. One in full English, the other in Taglish (Tagalog/English) ^^


	13. Hate That I Love You -13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate that when I thought he looked handsome enough, he can still turn it up a notch. I hate that despite the fact that we’ve been dating for 6 months, his stare and touch can still make my knees go weak. I hate that Seungwoo’s built makes me look like a midget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's VACATION PART 1. Enjoy! ^_^

**Hate That I Love You – 13**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’sTrash**

**“Umma. Let’s go!” **Dongpyo’s head peeked by the doorway.

It’s the 3rd day of my two-week long vacation from the hospital and we’re going on a trip with our friends.

**“Coming.”** I called out to him as I secured the locks to my bedroom window that leads to the fire escape ladder. We’ll be gone for 3 days and I didn’t want to take any chances with burglars while we were gone.

My two Unnies are also having a trip of their own with their boyfriends so they couldn’t come when I invited them. Luckily, Hyo and Yuri will be there with Yunho Oppa and Minho Oppa so I’m glad we’re not the only couple in the group.

I got my things and closed the door to our apartment.

**“What took you so long?”** Seungwoo was leaning by the doorframe when I got out.

He looked so good in his loose white button down shirt and light blue pants.

**“I was double checking things. Can’t risk burglars getting in.”** I told him with a shrug.

He took my bag from me and held my left hand as we headed to the elevator. It was when we got inside that I realized something.

**“Why are we wearing matching outfits?”** I asked him as I looked at the two of us in the mirror inside the elevator. I was also wearing a white button down shirt and some powder blue shorts.

**“Because we’re a couple?”** He suggested lamely.

**“You know they’re gonna tease us about this, right?” **

**“So what? We’re a couple. They’re just teasing coz most of them are single.”** I just scoffed at what he said. I can’t believe this guy. He’s so unfazed with what others are going to say about me and him.

**“I don’t know why we have to go with everyone when you can have me all by yourself.”** Seungwoo said with a pout and I hit his arm lightly.

Seungwoo’s been trying to dissuade me from planning this ever since I asked him about what we’re going to do during our vacations. It was summer so I asked his friends and mine to go on an outing with us.

**“Ya. Everyone’s luckily available. We don’t get to spend time with our friends anymore because of the internship. And the little kids miss you.”**

**“I think they miss you more than me these days. Dongpyo and Hyeongjun keeps on asking about you in our Talk group chat.”** I chuckled as I saw the disapproving look on Seungwoo’s face.

**“Don’t tell me you’re jealous?”**

**“Well, can’t blame them if their _Appa _got a beautiful _Umma_ for them.” **He shrugged and winked at me. I just laughed and shook my head at him.

I’ve already gotten used to hearing Hyeongjun and Dongpyo call me _Umma_ by now. They wouldn’t stop calling me that anyway, even before Seungwoo and I dated, so I just let them call me that.

**“What took you two so long?”** Seungyoun asked as he stood by one of the three cars we were bringing to Seungwoo’s family villa. **“We have a long drive ahead you know.”**

**“Maybe they were thinking of ditching us so that they can have some alone time. Especially since they coordinated their outfits for today.”** Hangyul teased and that was the start of the teasing.

**“Actually, I was suggesting that to her. But she wants to spend quality time with everyone so I can’t do anything about it. I can’t deny my girl the pleasure of spending time with _Appa_ everyone. Plus, we didn’t plan our outfits together. It just happened.”** Seungwoo said as he put an arm on my shoulder.

**“_Appa_ is being so cheesy in the morning. Hyung, can we ride in your car? I don’t think I’ll survive the whole 3 hours car ride with _Appa_ being clingy to _Umma._” **Hyeongjun said to Hangyul and he gave him puppy eyes.

**“Me too!”** Dongpyo clung onto Seungyoun.

**“Fine with me. Byungchan, you can ride with the other car.” **I elbowed him.

**“Yah! They won’t fit.”** I rolled my eyes at him. **“I can ride in the back if you guys want.”**

Dongpyo and Hyeongjun suddenly went to my side, Dongpyo expertly inserting himself between me and Seungwoo causing us to let go of our hold.

**“Yay! _Umma_’s sitting with us in the back!” **Dongpyo cheered.

**“We won’t mind you sitting in the backseat with us, _Umma._” **Hyeongjun said, and before Seungwoo could protest, the two boys pulled me towards the car and I am now seated between them.

Everyone laughed at what they did and entered their corresponding cars. Seungwoo placed my things in the trunk and went to the driver’s seat while mumbling something.

**“I think _Hyung_ is mad.”** Byungchan said as he sat in the passenger seat.

**“He’ll be fine.”** I smiled at the two boys who looked reluctant right now. **“Besides, I said I wanted to spend quality time with everyone. Don’t worry.”**

**“_Umma_ _jjang!”_** Dongpyo said and gave me a thumbs up.

**“You guys like your _Umma_ that much?”** Seungwoo said as he adjusted the rearview mirror and side mirror.

**“Yes!”** Dongpyo, Hyeongjun and Byungchan chorused.

Seungwoo gave Byungchan a disbelieving look before scoffing.

**“Fine. Fine. You like your _Umma_ that much.”** Then he put on some sunglasses which made him look more attractive.

_I hate that when I thought he looked handsome enough, he can still turn it up a notch._

**“Seungwoo-yah, you lead the way. We’ll just follow you in case the navigation causes problems.”** Yunho Oppa said as the SUV he’s driving. Together with him were Hyo, Junho, Eunsang, Minhee, Wooseok, Jinhyuk, Seungsik and Subin.

**“Okay, _Hyung._”** I looked back at the other SUV being driven by Minho Oppa, he’s driving to the villa with Yuri, Yohan, Hangyul, Seungyoun, Dohyon, Chan, Sejun and Hanse.

I pulled down the window. **“Drive safely!”** Then Seungwoo started driving.

**“What time do you think we’ll be there, _Hyung?”_** Byungchan asked as he tweaked with the radio.

**“We’ll probably be there before 9 AM if there’s not much traffic.”**

As Byungchan continued tweaking with the radio, it suddenly played girl group songs and the two kids sitting beside me danced and sang along to all of them. After an hour of singing and dancing along to the songs that became like the “Random Dance Play” in Idol Weekly, they were tired and are now sleeping beside me. Everyone woke up early just so we can arrive at the villa early so I understand that they must be tired.

**“After all that fuss, and they’ll just use you as a pillow.”** Seungwoo said, but he was smiling as he looked at me through the rearview mirror.

**“They’re probably just recharging their batteries for later.”** I told him, smiling back at him. Even Byungchan was fast asleep beside him.

**“Why don’t you recharge as well? You’ll be tired cooking for a large group later. I don’t know why you insist on cooking for us when Mrs. Kim would be ecstatic to see so many people in the villa.”**

**“I’ll be fine. Besides, Yuri and Hyo are also there. You guys will clean up because the girls cooked. Everyone did their part. If I can’t handle it then I’ll ask for her help.”**

**“I don’t know why I even bother trying to change your mind.”** Seungwoo just sighed but he smiled as he shook his head.

**“Me neither.” **

We got to the villa by half past 8. We unloaded our things and waited in the living room for Mrs. Kim since she has the keys to the rooms upstairs. There were 10 rooms in total, each room can have 3 to 4 people per room so we didn’t worry about anybody not having anyone to sleep in.

**“Seungwooyah~” **And a smile immediately appears in Seungwoo’s face as we turned to see an equally smiling Mrs. Kim.

Seungwoo went forward and greeted the older woman with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. I smiled as I saw the scene. Mrs. Kim practically raised Seungwoo whenever his parents went overseas.

**“I missed you, Mrs. Kim.” **If Seungwoo acts like a baby with me, he’s 10x that when he’s with Mrs. Kim.

**“You miss me but you barely visit me here.”**

**“I was so busy with work.”** Seungwoo pouted and Mrs. Kim pinched his cheeks.

**“Work or with your girlfriend?”** Mrs. Kim looked at me and I smiled at her. **“How have you been, Yoonhye?”**

**“I’m good, Mrs. Kim. How are things here?”**

After a few more greetings, Seungwoo and I introduced everyone to Mrs. Kim and her husband. She also gave us the keys to the rooms and we headed to our assigned rooms, but not before Yunho Oppa teased us by saying, **“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”**

When Seungwoo opened the door, I was greeted by the familiar sight of a room with a floor to ceiling sliding glass door that leads to a terrace with an overlooking view of the sea. I immediately went to the terrace as Seungwoo placed our things on the bed.

I took a deep breath, savoring the scent of the saltiness of the fresh ocean breeze. Seungwoo came up behind me and wound his arms around my waist. I leaned back onto him and sighed contentedly.

**“It’s been so long since we’ve been here but it’s like nothing has changed.”**

**“There are some things that changed.”** He turned me around and leaned forward so I was leaning back onto the balcony railing. I put my arms around his neck as he placed his hands on either side of my hips.

**“Like what?”**

_I hate that despite the fact that we’ve been dating for 6 months, his stare and touch can still make my knees go weak._

**“Like how we’ve suddenly ended up dating and I can kiss you any time I want.”** Seungwoo leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. It wasn’t until we heard someone clear his throat that we found out we have an audience looking at us.

**“If you guys are done flirting with one another, can we eat now?”** It was Wooseok who said that and turned around, but not without an eye roll first.

Then we saw that everyone on that side of the house, were also outside their respective room balconies and apparently witnessed us making out.

Hangyul was covering Dohyon’s eyes, with the younger male wailing that he wants to see, but Hangyul just gave us a frown as he told his cousin that it’s not something kids should see…yet. Jinhyuk gave Seungwoo a thumbs up and told us he watched well before he followed Wooseok. Seungyoun had a disgusted look on his face before going back inside the room he shares with Hangyul and Dohyon.

_I hate that Seungwoo’s built makes me look like a midget._ This time, I’m glad he has a much bigger built than me, because I buried my face in his chest to hide myself from the embarrassment because Hyo and Yuri along with Yunho Oppa and Minho Oppa were also there to witness what happened.

**“Hurry up, girl!”** Hyo called out to me, but I can clearly hear her and Yuri giggling.

**“I hate you.”** I grunted as I kept myself glued to his chest.

I can feel Seungwoo shake as he tried to stifle his laughter. **“No you don’t. You love me, remember?”**

I stopped my whining as I heard that.

_What?_

Does he know?

I looked up at him from my position in his chest, and I saw him looking down at me with a smile on his face and something I can’t read in his eyes. I know it’s been 6 months, but we haven’t talked about _that_ ‘L’ word. Ever. This was the first time he mentioned it.

_You love me, remember?_

WAS I THAT OBVIOUS?! I can’t show him my true feelings yet. He hasn’t even said it to me. I know he said he liked me first, but my feelings for him were much deeper even before what happened during out graduation party. I’m not ready for this conversation. Not. Yet.

My brain couldn’t function properly, and thankfully I was spared from answering him when someone knocked on the door to our room. I disentangled myself from Seungwoo’s hold and went to answer the door. It was Mrs. Kim and she told us that she already prepared breakfast. She also told me that I can cook later for lunch and told us to come down.

I didn’t wait for Seungwoo as I went downstairs with Mrs. Kim.

_Sorry, Seungwoo. I’m not yet ready for that conversation. I have to make sure you love me as me and not as the woman who is your best friend whom you suddenly had feelings for._

The guys ate boisterously as Seungwoo and I ate in silence. Seungwoo was seated on my right and I feel bad about how I reacted, but… sigh. Everyone mistook our silence for embarrassment, and I think it’s better than them knowing there’s sort of a tension that’s starting to grow because he used that ‘L’ word to tease me.

**“Oppa! I knew it was you getting out from that car!”** A figure flew between us and flung herself on Seungwoo and hugged him.

Seungwoo laughed and patted the girl in the back. **“If it isn’t our Wonyoung-ie.”**

**“Oh. Hey _Unnie._” **She said dryly towards my direction before giving his attention back to Seungwoo.

Wait. If Wonyoung is here then.

**“Wonyoung-ah, stop smothering Seungwoo Oppa.”** I looked at the entrance and saw her.

_Oh Hayoung._

**“_Mianhae, _Oppa. She’s just been saying it’s you who came and wanted to check.”** She came forward to pull Wonyoung, her step sister, away from Seungwoo.

**“Oh! Hayoung-ah, it’s been so long.”**

_It’s Oh Hayoung._

**“It has been, hasn’t it, Oppa?”** Hayoung smiled sweetly at Seungwoo.

_Han Seungwoo’s first love._

** _To be continued…_ **

**New Characters**

**Oh Hayoung**

\- Seungwoo's 'first love'

\- Had a little something with Seungwoo when they were younger

\- Wonyoung's step sister

**Jang Wonyoung**

\- Has a huge crush on Seungwoo since she was little

\- Wants to marry Seungwoo in the future

\- Calls herself Seungwoo's wife

\- Hayoung's step sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of Part 1. Hmmm. Something's gonna happen, I don't know what. See you next update!
> 
> Probably gonna take a bit of while for Part 2 to come out. I have a lot on my plate these days.
> 
> Wish me luck! I'm gonna be singing in a gathering here near my work. SAVE ME! TT_TT
> 
> Thank's for reading! Share some love and share with your friends. :*


	14. Hate That I Love You - 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vacation Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the uber delay! Ugh! Was supposed to post this last Sunday but I got so busy with work and was sick as heck yesterday. Miannnn~

**Hate That I Love You – 14**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’sTrash**

Turns out it was Wonyoung’s birthday that’s why they were also at their rest house nearby. They invited us over to join the party, and right now, everyone was getting ready for the pool party. The awkwardness between Seungwoo and I was still apparent while we were getting ready for the party. I wanted his childishness from this morning back so bad, I wanted to tease him, but it didn’t seem right. Especially after I didn’t respond to him when he talked about the other ‘L’ word.

I sighed as I got out of the bathroom. I was wearing a loose black shirt with a pair of white shorts. I put my hair up in a bun on tope of my head. Seungwoo was nowhere to be found when I got out.

_Why do I always make a mess of things?_

I turned towards the door as I heard a knock.

**“Hey, you rea—” **Yuri and Hyo stopped as they looked me head to toe.

**“Girl, what are you wearing?”** Hyo asked as she went near me. **“Get out of these clothes. Right now.”**

**“Why? It’s a beach party. And they said the color theme is white. I don’t see what’s wrong with what I’m wearing.”** I told them as I went to the mirror.

**“And your boyfriend’s first love is in attendance. You can’t come to a party wearing this.”**

Before I could protest some more, they locked the door and closed the curtains. They made me change into a white halter neck dress with low back and the flowy skirt stops at a couple of inches above my knees. They also removed my hair from its bun and just let it down.

I shook my head as I looked in the mirror. **“Don’t you guys remember how he reacted last time when he saw me wear something like this? Graduation? Party?”**

They both grinned at me through the mirror.

**“That’s the plan.”** Yuri said and before I could react, they led me outside the door.

**“Whoa. Don’t you look stunning.” **Yunho Oppa said as he kissed Hyo’s cheek and spun her around. Hyo was wearing a white spaghetti strapped top and a pair of denim shorts.

**“Thank you, Love. You don’t look too bad yourself.” **Yunho Oppa was sporting a white half button-down collared shirt, with the first few buttons unbuttoned, and some black pants.

Yuri was suddenly pulled from my side and was suddenly encaged in Minho Oppa’s arms.

**“Hon, I can’t let you go out wearing this. Someone might snatch you from me.”** Yuri was wearing an off shoulder white lacey top and denims shorts as well.

Minho Oppa was wearing a patterned matching long sleeves coat and shorts, with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a white v-neck undershirt.

**“Then let’s stay in the room then?” **Yuri suggested and smiled at Minho Oppa.

**“Excuse me, but there are single people here.”** Wooseok said as he passed by, of course wearing a disgusted look on his face.

**“I think he needs a girlfriend.”** Minho Oppa said and scratched the back of his head as he put an arm around Yuri’s shoulders.

**“Or just get laid.”** Jinhyuk shrugged as he passed by.

**“Watch your mouth. There are kids here.”** Seungyoun hit Jinhyuk’s head and pointed at Dohyon who was looking so eagerly at us.

**“Don’t mind him, Dohyon. He’s just kidding.”** I told him as he, Hangyul and Yohan passed by.

Minhee, Eunsang and Junho all smiled as they passed by. They’re probably still shy around my friends, but I know they’ll warm up to them by tomorrow.

**“Umma! You look beautiful.”** Dongpyo commented.

**“Thank you, Dongpyo-ya.”** I smiled at him. At least he noticed. Seungwoo was still nowhere in sight. I sighed.

**“Appa was here just a moment ago. He said we should go ahead and he’ll follow us.”** Hyeongjun said when he noticed that I was looking around for Seungwoo.

**“Did you two fight or something?” **Yuri asked.

**“You were all lovey-dovey this morning. What happened?”** Hyo whispered.

**“It’s nothing. Maybe he left something behind.”** I just told them and we walked out towards the villa next door.

We could already hear the music playing loud as we entered the place. The other villa wasn’t as big as Seungwoo’s place, but it was still amazing. There were so many people attending the party and I’m so glad Hyo and Yuri made me change into something else because I would definitely feel like an outsider here had I worn my plain shorts and shirt.

I could recognize some people, like some of Hayoung’s friends – Chorong, Bomi, Eunji, Naeun and Namjoo. We met before during Hayoung’s 18th birthday party.

**“Hey, guys! Thank you for coming!”** Hayoung welcomed us as we entered the place. She wore a white sleeveless lace dress.

I can still remember how Seungwoo said he likes girls in lace dresses. I wanted to frown at what she wore but, with her smiling at me like the sunshine in her, I couldn’t do it. She doesn’t deserve my ire.

**“Where’s Seungwoo Oppa?”** Hayoung asked and looked around until she found whom she was looking for. **“Oh. Oppa!”**

I turned around and saw Seungwoo.

_I hate that even though things are awkward between us, I can’t help but look at how handsome he is._

Seungwoo was wearing a white long sleeved lace up shirt, effectively showing part of his tattoos on his chest and shoulder.

He smiled as Hayoung welcomed him.

**“I need a drink.”** I murmured as I went out to the garden to get something to drink.

I can’t get the image of Seungwoo and Hayoung, looking so good together while smiling at each other, out of my head. This isn’t how I pictured our vacation to happen. It was supposed to be our time with our friends, but instead he got reunited with his first love.

I picked up a glass of pink colored drink and I almost spat it out. I just thought it was punch, but I didn’t expect it to give such a punch to my throat because it was spiked. Not that there’s any problem with anyone drinking, because everyone’s of age, but they could’ve at least warned us.

**“Are you really gonna stand there and let your man get snatched from you?”** Yuri whispered to me as she grabbed a drink as well and reacted the same way I did. **“Blek. I think that’s too much alcohol they put.”**

**“Probably Wonyoung’s idea.”** I shrugged. Wonyoung has always been a wild child. She never forgets to call Seungwo as her _'husband'_ ever since we were kids.

The party started and there were at least 100 people in attendance. Music was playing while Yuri, Hyo and I talked with some people we recognize. I even met Kai’s best friend, Taemin, and we talked about the night of the party for our graduation.

Our conversation continued as we asked each other about things and learned that he’s also friends with Sungwoon from One Able.

**“Hey, Oppa. Hi, Yoonhye.”** Naeun went to Taemin’s side and he immediately lit up when she stood beside him.

**“And this is Naeun, my fiancée.”** Taemin introduced and we told him we already knew one another.

**“It was nice that you were here at the right time. It made Wonyoung’s birthday extra special because Seungwoo’s here.”** Naeun commented as we looked at Seungwoo who suddenly became Wonyoung’s escort and is being crowded by Wonyoung’s friends.

_At least someone’s happy._ I sighed mentally.

They excused themselves saying that they had to go get something for Wonyoung’s birthday cake. I bid them goodbye and I tried to look for my friends but they were out of sight. The boys were all busy mingling with other guests, mainly girls, so I couldn’t go to them. I just went to the beach and sat down on one of the logs there.

I looked at the sunset as the last rays of golden yellow started spreading across the clear waters.

**“I thought I’d find you here.”** A white cover up was suddenly placed on my shoulders. He sat down beside me and took a deep breath. **“Aren’t you cold?”**

I shook my head. **“I just love the sunset. Isn’t it beautiful?” **

**“It is. It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”** I turned to him and was shocked to see that he was looking at me and not at the sunset.

No words were exchanged between us as we looked at each other’s eyes. Both searching for something. He reached out for my left cheek and I closed my eyes as he stroked the tear track that fell without even me noticing it.

**“I told myself I won’t ever let you cry tears of sadness again. But here I go again causing your tears to fall.”** Seungwoo frowned as he wiped another tear that fell.

I shook my head as I tried to compose myself.

**“I’m not forcing you to say the words yet. I’ve waited long enough to hear the words ‘I like you’ from you. I can wait a bit longer for the other ‘L’ word.”**

**“Thank you.”** I told him and his lips came down to cover mine in a soft and gentle kiss.

**“Uhh…”**

We immediately pulled apart from one another when we heard someone spoke from behind us.

**“They’re about to bring the cake out for Wonyoung, but it look’s like you’re busy so we’ll just go ahead.”** It was Chaeyeon, one of Wonyoung’s friends. She hurriedly went back to the direction of the rest house, probably flustered from what she just saw.

**“Why do we always get caught kissing in public?”** I asked Seungwoo and he just laughed.

**“Then let’s kiss in private next time so that we won’t get caught.”** He smiled cheekily and I punched his shoulder.

I stood up and put my arms inside the cover up he put on my shoulders earlier.

**“I need to talk to your friends about how they dress you.”** He looked at me from head to toe.

**“What’s wrong with it?”** I asked him.

**“You look too good in it. And you’re showing too much skin. I had to ransack your bag and luckily I found a cover up. You can’t leave my side from now on. Someone might snatch you from me.”**

**“You’re wearing that and I’m not saying anything.” **I just rolled my eyes at him, just to avoid him seeing me blush, and hooked my arms into his. **“Let’s go. The celebrant is making a wish. The _husband_ should be there.”**

In fact, I enjoy what he’s wearing right now. No complaining, but I saw how the girls looked at him earlier. I didn’t wanna sound jealous so I didn’t say anything.

When we got back, Wonyoung immediately called out to Seungwoo and I let go of him before going to Hyo and Yuri’s sides.

Hyo giggled as she pointed out that the reason Seungwoo came in late was probably because he looked for a cover up. I didn’t deny because he said so himself.

The cake was brought out by Hayoung and some of her friends. It was a really big cake and it looked like they were having a hard time carrying it. We all sang a happy birthday song for her and she smiled widely as she made her wish, out loud.

**“I wish that if ever Seungwoo Oppa gets married, it’s either between me or my Hayoung Unnie.”** She then blew out her candles and everyone clapped. By everyone, I meant everyone except my friends and Seungwoo’s friends. I don’t know why, but when Wonyoung turned around, I could’ve sworn she looked my way.

The party continued and everyone went back to their random corners in the rest house. Seungwoo was suddenly beside me and told me that he’ll clarify things with Wonyoung after the party.

**“It’s okay. She’s just a kid.”** I told him as I handed him a drink.

Seungwoo still didn’t look convinced, so I held his and smiled at him sweetly. **“It’s really fine. Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind.”**

**“You don’t mind someone else wanting to marry me?”** He raised an eyebrow at me and I pinched his nose because he definitely misunderstood what I was trying to say.

**“What I meant was, there’s no need to ruin the mood of the party just because you want to tell her off.”**

**“You’re always too kind for your own good.”** Seungwoo kissed my cheek and I could hear the gagging noises beside us.

**“Get a room, you two!”** Junho said as he and Eunsang went to get some more drinks.

**“Easy on the drinks there, buddy.”** Seungwoo called out to the boys.

**“Always the Dad.”** I told him and he just smiled at me.

We suddenly heard the sound of glass breaking and the music stops.

**“I hate you! Why would you even do that? It’s my birthday today!”** We saw Wonyoung running away with some of her friends following her.

**“Hayoung, are you okay?”** We turned and saw Hayoung on the ground surrounded by her friends.

Seungwoo and I looked at each other and walked towards Hayoung.

**“It’s okay guys. I’m fine.”** When we got to her, broken glass was everywhere and we could see blood coming from Hayoung’s leg.

**“No you’re not. What happened?”** Seungwoo crouched down beside Hayoung to check on her bleeding leg.

**“Wonyoung got mad when I scolded her about her wish. She threw a glass to the ground and accidentally pushed me onto the broken glass.” **She looked up and smiled apologetically. **“I’m fine. Really.”**

**“You’re bleeding so you can’t be fine.”**

_Even if it hurts me._

**“Seungwoo-ya, take her inside. I’ll get my kit in my bag.”** I told him and Seungwoo nodded before carrying Hayoung and walked inside to the house.

I rushed to the villa and took my emergency kit from my very ruffled bag.

_That guy really did ransack my bag. Big time!_

I'll make him clean this up when we get back. I hurriedly went back to the rest house and looked for Hayoung and Seungwoo. The glass shards had already been cleaned up but Wonyoung was still out of sight. The rest of the guests were probably sent home since the only ones remaining were our friends.

**“I think we should get these guys back to the villa. They’re really wasted.” **Yunho Oppa said as he motioned Seungwoo’s friends. Junho and Eunsang were definitely looking more than a little drunk. Wooseok and Jinhyuk along with Yohan are busy doing something. Hangyul was busy scolding Dohyon.

**“Where’s the birthday girl? She looks cute. I think I have a crush on her.”** Dohyon said as he tried to walk and almost toppled over Hangyul who was smaller than him in height but luckily Seungyoun helped him.

Subin and Hanse were not really in any better shape while Sejun and Seungsik were playing the Cleopatra game with Byungchan and Chan.

**“Please take care of them.”** I told them as I found Hayoung and Seungwoo in the kitchen.

Seungwoo was holding a towel to Hayoung’s bleeding leg and luckily the bleeding had subsided a little.

**“I think there’s not much glass that stuck to your leg. It’s probably just cut the skin that’s why it bled before.”** I heard Seungwoo tell Hayoung and she laughed.

**“I guess I’m lucky to have a doctor beside me.”**

**“Doctor in training.”**

**“Hey. I’m back.”** I told them and they looked my way.

**“Did you bring it?”** Seungwoo asked and I nodded as I showed him my kit.

**“Where’s Wonyoung? Has she come back yet?”** They both shook their heads.

**“Seungwoo, I’ll handle Hayoung’s leg. I think you should find Wonyoung. You’re the only one who can calm her at this rate.”** Seungwoo nodded and left to search for the girl.

I removed the towel and the bleeding has somehow subsided compared to when I left. I cleaned her wounds and luckily there were no deep cuts on her skin. I only had to remove three shards of glass and immediately covered it with gauze to prevent it from bleeding.

**“How is it being a doctor?”** Hayoung asked as I cleaned her wounds.

**“It’s fun yet tiring. But seeing the smiles on the patients’ faces after you helped them eases the fatigue you feel after more than 12 hours of duty.”** I said as I recalled one mother who thanked me with teary eyes as I cleaned the wound from her baby’s forehead that got cut when her baby hit the side of the table.

**“I think this is the side that made him like you.”** I frowned and looked up at her. **“You didn’t talk about how doctors will earn big bucks by doing their work. Instead, you talk about the smiles and gratitude you receive from the patients after helping them.”**

I smiled as I realized that she was right. Most doctors nowadays only care about the money and not the thought of helping and saving peoples’ lives. I only care about being able to help ease peoples’ pain and save them from whatever ails them.

**“There are many more reasons as to why I like her, but you’re right. This is one of them.”** Hayoung and I turned around to find Seungwoo by the entranceway with a very disheveled looking Wonyoung behind him.

**“Wonyoung-ah!”** Hayoung stood up, luckily I finished patching her up, and walked towards her little sister.

**“I’m so sorry, Unnie!”** She hugged her big sister and cried as she apologized for her behavior earlier.

Hayoung hugged her little sister back and tried to make her calm down. She also reprimanded her for running off like that. She could’ve gotten into trouble because it was so late at night.

**“I’m sorry too, Yoonhye Unnie. That was rude of me.”** Wonyoung said my way and I smiled at her and told her it’s okay. **“I knew you were Seungwoo Oppa’s girlfriend because Unnie told me, but I still acted like a brat and didn’t want to believe it.”**

**“It’s okay. As long as you know you know what you did wrong.”**

We bid our goodbyes to the two of them and headed back to Seungwoo’s family villa.

**"I thought you would act like a jealous girlfriend when I carried Hayoung earlier."** Seungwoo said out of the blue as we were walking side by side. **"I was half-expecting you to tell me not to touch her injured leg. I was actually surprised when you told me to carry her inside."**

**"I was."** I told him truthfully. There was no point in lying since I was jealous. **"But, as a doctor, I couldn't let my emotions get the best of me. She was hurt. I couldn't be a brat about it and tell you not to touch her just because I was jealous. Her being your _first love_ didn't really sit well with me though."**

The evening breeze suddenly blew my cover up open and I shivered in the cold.

**“This is why I told you that you should never show so much skin.”** Seungwoo pulled me to his side and hugged me as we walked. I snuggled beside him and got a scent of that special smell that’s special only to him. **"And she's not my first love. Who told you that?"**

**"Everyone? ****You were always going _'Hayoung-ah! Hayoung-ah!'_ when we were kids."** I snorted at him.

**"Well, that's just some major misinterpretation on your part then."**

**"Then who's your first love then?"** I asked him, but he just shrugged.

**"It's a secret."** I hit his side.

**"You're brutal, you know that?"** Seungwoo acted as if he was hurt and pulled me closer. **"Promise me you won't wear clothes like this again. Not unless I approved of it."**

**“Fine. I won’t wear anything like this in the future.”** I stopped and looked at him as I eyed his clothes. **“As long as you don’t wear clothes that show your tattoos anymore.”**

Seungwoo raised a brow at me. **“So you want me to wear long sleeves everyday, even during summer? I still have a tattoo on my left arm, remember?”**

**“Maybe you can tape it up?”** I giggled and he pulled me towards him as he hugged me.

**“Fine. My chest and shoulder tattoos are, from now on, for your eyes only.”** He kissed me on the lips and I complied. I snaked my arms around his neck as his went around my waist. He pulled me flush against his body.

He licked my lower lip, then gently parted my lips and slipped in. I moaned into his mouth as he kissed me, his tongue stroking mine skillfully. He tasted of sugar and something spicier, maybe he drank something from the party and now I feel like I’m getting drunk on his kiss.

I moaned against his lips again, and Seungwoo pulled back slightly, sucking my lower lip before releasing it and searching my face.

**“I’m glad everyone’s drunk at home.”** He carried me as we made our way back to the villa. **“Hopefully no one disturbs us again or I might just kill them if they interrupt us one more time.”**

I laughed as he ran up the stairs to the room we were staying at.

**“You’re really naughty.” **I hit his chest playfully.

**“Only with you.”** And he kissed me again as he kicked the door to his room shut.

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting! Give some love! ^_^ I'm also updating my Taglish (Tagalog/English) AU in my twitter account (@sujux1strash). The beginning is in English and it's mostly in English, if you want me to post it here in AO3 in full English, I can do it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! :*


	15. Hate That I Love You - 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoonhye's back at work and this is just a preview on how their days normally are. ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the super late update again! .-. Thank you for waiting!! TT_TT

**Hate That I Love You – 15**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’sTrash**

**“Well, you look happy. Did you get laid in those two weeks you were gone?”** I spit out my drink, luckily it was just water and no one was sitting in front of me in the doctors’ lounge, when Hwasa suddenly spoke behind me.

**“Ya! Ahn Hyejin! What the heck are you talking about?!”** I looked back at her with an outraged expression.

**“Ya! Don’t call me by my real name. I’m Hwasa.”**

**“Well, if you don’t want me to call you Hyejin, stop talking about nonsense so early in the morning.”**

She shrugged as she sat down beside me and took a piece of tomato from the salad I was eating.

**“It’s not nonsense if it’s true.”**

**“Well, it’s not true.”** I told her and blushed.

**“You say you didn’t get laid during those two weeks you were with your super hot and gorgeous boyfriend?”** She raised a brow at me as if she doesn’t believe what I’m saying.

**“Seungwoo’s not like that. He’s not only after those things.”** I told her, but I blushed so hard when I remember what happened last week.

_One week ago…_

_We just got back to the villa after we hiked a nearby mountain. I was lying on the bed as I looked through the photos I took of our hike. I laughed as I saw pictures of the kids fooling around with each other. I’m glad we brought everyone with us. It wouldn’t have been the same had they not been there. _

_Seungwoo just got out of the shower, and I looked up from the camera only to be stunned at what I saw. I was frozen in my position on the bed as he walked out of the shower with just a towel around his hips as he dried his hair with a smaller one. Water was dripping down his chest and I can clearly see how some water drops clung to his tattoos as if accentuating every line and curve._

** _“What are you doing?”_ ** _ He asked as he sat down beside me and took the camera from my hand. _

_I involuntarily swallowed as some water drops from his hair fell to my face. I got up and went to get my towel._

** _“Just looking at pictures. I’ll just shower.”_ ** _ I walked past by him, but he took hold of my hand and he pulled me to sit on his lap._

** _“Are you flustered to see me like this?”_ ** _ He was hugging me as I sat on his lap sideways. **"You've seen me shirtless countless times but you still get shy."**_

** _“Ya! You’re getting me all wet.”_ ** _ I told him because he nuzzled his wet hair onto my shirt._

**_“_Wet_ huh?” _** _He gave me a mischievous smile and I smacked his shoulder._

** _“Ya! Byuntae ahjussi!”_ **

** _“Ow!”_ ** _ Seungwoo massaged his left shoulder and I think I hit him a bit too hard because the skin that was supposed to be red from the sunburn of the previous day suddenly had a white hand mark. I forgot that he wore a sleeveless shirt on the hike._

_My eyes widened and I immediately placed my hands onto his shoulder and did an inspection on it. I blew onto his birthday tattoo that suddenly had a white hand mark across it where I hit it._

** _“Sorry. Sorry. I forgot about your sunburn.”_ ** _ I continued blowing on it, hoping that the sting from being hit by my hand eases a bit._

_Seungwoo suddenly stopped my hands that were busy fuzzing with his shoulder. I looked at him and his eyes suddenly became hooded. My heart got caught in my throat because of the way he looked at me. _

I hate that he can still melt me with his stare.

** _“Ya~” _ ** _I told him and he wound my hands on his neck as he pulled me close. Seungwoo leaned closer and then his mouth was blanketing mine, skillfully plying my lips apart. He nibbled at my lower lip, then gently explored the corner of my mouth. He deepened the kiss, body shuddering as I relaxed onto his seated form._

_Seungwoo changed my position and I am now straddling his thighs. He pulled back, just far enough to settle his nose against mine. _

** _“You’re gonna be the death of me.”_ ** _ He whispered as he placed his lips on mine again. This time he was more aggressive and his hands had slipped under my shirt as they caressed my hips, my back and my stomach. _

** _“You can’t die. You can’t leave me alone. I’ll be sad.”_ ** _ I murmured against his lips with a giggle._

** _“We can’t have that now, can we?” _ ** _I could feel Seungwoo’s grin as we kissed. **“Don’t worry, I won’t leave you. That’s a promise.”**_

_I allowed the pure pleasure of his kiss to sweep me under. It was pure bliss. The way our tongues played together, the way he held me as if I was some precious crystal he’s afraid he’ll break. I was. Before we dated. Before Seungwoo taught me to be confident with myself. Before he introduced me to his friends and made me the outgoing person that I am today._

_I realized what I had been missing all these time. It’s not the looks or the talent or even the popularity. He made me realize that what I lacked most in myself was confidence. Confidence that someone as annoyingly perfect as Seungwoo can still find me attractive and could actually come to like me more than a friend._

_I pulled back and held his face in my hands and looked him in the eyes. _

** _“Promise me you won’t ever leave me.”_ **

** _“I won’t. Not unless you tell me to.”_ ** _ Seungwoo’s lips swooped down in a hungry kiss once again. I moaned as he nibbled the tender flesh at the base of my neck, traced the tip of his tongue beneath my chin to the corner of my mouth. I arched into him as I let the passion take me._

_Seungwoo suddenly pulled back with a groan and kissed my forehead. _

** _“I have to stop. For your own good.”_ ** _ He took a deep breathe and that’s when I realized that he’s suddenly grown hard under me._

_I blushed as I scrambled off his lap._

** _“Ya!” _ ** _I picked up the towel that had fallen to the floor when he pulled me earlier._

** _“I couldn’t help it. You were on my lap and we were kissing.” _ **

** _“You started it!”_ ** _ I pouted at him._

_Seungwoo stood up and I had to keep my eyes on his face and not on his bare chest, bare abs and God knows what’s lower than that._

** _“And I’m finishing it before I can’t stop myself and take you right here.”_ ** _ He hugged me and kissed me on the lips, he only gave me a chaste kiss this time. _

** _“I promise you I’ll only go all the way when you and I are married. As long as you don’t seduce me, I think I can succeed.”_ ** _ Seungwoo kissed my forehead again and then let me go get that shower. Now I think I need a cold shower._

Back to Present…

**"He’s still a hot-blooded man in his prime. There will be so many girls after him and you haven’t slept with him yet? Seungwoo must be a saint.”**

I smiled at her. **“He is.”**

Hwasa rolled her eyes at me. **“Well, if I had a boyfriend as hot as him, I’d probably not let the two of us leave the bedroom during those two weeks. I’ll send everyone away.”**

**“Did you get laid, Hwasa?”** We looked behind us and saw Dr. Leo Jung who just entered the lounge.

**“How I wish it was me, sunbaenim. But sadly, I didn’t get laid within the past week.” **Hwasa said nonchalantly and I swear my eyes were so big because I couldn’t believe she actually said that in front of a sunbae, especially a guy sunbae.

**“Then, was it you, Dr. Yoonhye?” **The way he looked at me, he looked like he was so serious, I couldn’t utter a word of denial even if I wanted to.

Dr. Jung suddenly smiled at laughed. **“I’m kidding Dr. Park. You don’t have to answer my question.” **

He turned to his locker and retrieved a lab coat from inside. **“I mean, it’s none of my business anyway so don’t worry.”**

Dr. Jung started walking towards the door.

**“You just got in. Why don’t you stay for a bit, sunbaenim?”** Hwasa inquired.

**“I have a lot of patients today so I can’t stay and chat.” **He stopped as his hand lay still on the doorknob. **“One word of advice from a man to you women, we prefer our women to be pure and clean.”**

Dr. Leo Jung went out of the lounge leaving Hwasa and me dumbfounded with what he just said.

**“Did he just say we’re sluts?”**

I got back to my area after I finished my salad and encountered Dr. Leo, but it seemed like he was avoiding me.

_Hmm. I wonder why?_

Time flew by fast and before I could notice it, I was clocking out my last duty in the pediatric department. I took out my phone and noticed the missed calls I received from Seungwoo. I must’ve forgotten to remove the silent mode on it when I was busy earlier. We used a different phone when we get calls, so I barely use my phone during work.

I dialed his number and luckily, he answered.

** _“Hey, baby.”_ ** _ He sounded like he was in a hurry._

**“Hey, you called earlier. Sorry my phone was on silent mode.”**

** _“I just called to tell you I can’t pick you up today. There’s an emergency cardiac tamponade patient, and my sunbaenim told me to watch the operation.”_ **

**“That’s good. Not about the patient having cardiac tamponade, but that you’re going to be able to witness that procedure. Do your best!”**

** _“I will. Be careful on your way home. Text me when you get home. Stay in my apartment please. I want to lay in bed with you when I get home.”_ **

**“Ya! What are you saying?!”** I looked around as I waited for a cab to pass by.

**_“Just sleep there. Please? See you later.”_** Seungwoo hung up the phone when someone called for him.

I smiled as I remembered how excited he was to finally rotate in the cardiology department. Seungwoo was always excited about being a surgeon, a cardiothoracic surgeon more specifically. Who would’ve thought that my always cramming then best friend and now boyfriend would want to become a surgeon with such a difficult specialty? As for me, I’ve always wanted to work with children who have leukemia. I want to help cure them so that they can grow and live their lives as adults in the future.

**“So, no boyfriend today?”** I looked to my side and saw Dr. Leo who just clocked out as well.

I smiled politely at him and nodded. **“Emergency surgery.”**

Dr. Jung nodded and looked like he was contemplating about something.

**“Let me take you home. I brought my car.”** He offered, but I immediately declined.

**“No need to trouble yourself, _sunbaenim._ I already called my housemate to come pick me up.”**

_Liar. You haven’t called anyone yet._

I hope he wouldn’t see through my lie. It would’ve been embarrassing.

**“Well, that was fast considering you almost just got off the phone with your boyfriend and he told you he couldn’t pick you up, I assume.”**

**“Really, _sunbaenim. _There’s no need to bother yourself with me. I can go home on my own. Besides, your house is in the opposite direction.”** I even raised my hands in a gesture of polite refusal.

**“It’s no trouble.”** He smiled at me and took my lab coat from my arm. **“Consider this as my farewell treat to you since today is your last day in the pediatric department.”**

I couldn’t decline anymore since he had my lab coat as he walked towards the parking lot. I just sighed and sent a message to Seungwoo.

_To: Pabo Seungwoo_

_My sunbae at work is giving me a ride home. Do your best during that surgery. Learn well. :*_

I put my phone back into my bag and followed Dr. Jung to his car. The car ride was surprisingly pleasant. He has also apologized about what happened that night before my two-week vacation. He said that he was just kidding and not to take him too seriously when he jokes just because he looks serious most of the time.

When we reached my apartment building, I invited him inside and offered him some coffee. He declined at first but I insisted since he went out of his way just to drop me off.

**“Consider this as my farewell treat since it’s my last day in your department.”**

We got up to the apartment I shared with Tae and Yoona unnie. I didn’t want to go into Seungwoo’s apartment with a guy, even though we’re just having a cup of coffee, it just didn’t seem right.

**“You live here alone?” **Dr. Jung asked as he looked at the pictures in the living room.

**“No.”** I replied to him from the kitchen. I was fixing us a cup of coffee as I told him that I have two housemates living with me who are currently at work.

**“Tae unnie works at a recording studio making demo songs for famous singers. Yoona unnie works as a part-time model.”** I handed him the cup of coffee I made for him and looked at the frame in his hand.

**“This must be your boyfriend then?”** It was a recent photo of me and Seungwoo from the trip. Seungwoo was chasing me by the beach side and when he caught me, Seungyoun was able to capture such a candid moment.

**“Right. You’ve never had the chance to meet him even when he picks me up and drops me off at the hospital.”**

**“You two look good together. I hope he makes you happy and contented.”** Dr. Jung commented as he placed the frame back into place, but he must’ve miscalculated the distance because the next thing we knew, the frame fell to the floor and the glass shattered to pieces.

I gasped as I saw the shards of glass that came from the frame.

**“I’m so sorry. I have clumsy hands.”** Dr. Jung apologized, but I told him it’s okay since it’s just a frame.

I went to the storage room to get a broom and dustpan to clean up. After I cleaned up, we talked some more some random stuff, he was awfully curious about how Seungwoo and I met. Of course, I didn’t tell him the exact details as to how and why we suddenly turned from best friends to lovers. I bid goodbye to Dr. Jung as the elevator doors closed.

I got back to the apartment and looked at the photo with the broken picture frame. I sighed.

_Who would’ve thought such a gentle guy would actually be a klutz?_

I washed in the shower and changed into some comfy pants and a hoodie. I left a message in the kitchen counter for my roommates that I was sleeping over at Seungwoo’s place. Ever since we’ve dated, Tae unnie kept on telling me to just move in with him since he’s either always in my room to sleep or it’s me over at his place.

_‘It’s better if you just move out. You’ll have more privacy there.’_ She once told me one time we were eating dinner, and Seungwoo chocked on a piece of meat he was eating.

I shook my head as I headed to Seungwoo’s place. I know the code to his place so I just entered like the usual. I went to his kitchen to check whether he left some dirty dishes in the sink and luckily, he didn’t have any. I went to his room and laid on his bed. The moment my back hit his bed, Seungwoo’s scent enveloped me and I hugged one of his pillows with a smile.

I woke up to a soft kiss being placed on my forehead.

**“Hey, baby. I didn’t mean to wake you.”** Seungwoo sat beside the bed and I sat up.

I shook my head to try and get myself to wake up. **“What time is it?”**

**“It’s 3 AM.”** He smiled as he pushed aside some strands of hair that covered my face and he caressed my cheek afterwards.

**“How was the surgery?”** I asked him as I remembered why he just got home in this ungodly hour.

**“It was successful. Dr. Kim is really an amazing teacher. I’ll really enjoy my stay in the surgery department if he’s always the consultant on duty.”** Seungwoo stood up to remove his coat and tie.

I was still a bit sleepy so I blinked myself awake and lightly slapped my cheeks at the same time.

**“Have you eaten yet?”** I asked after him as he rummaged through his closet to change clothes.

**“I haven’t. I can just eat ramyun. I think I still have some left.”** I frowned at his choice of food. He needs to eat properly so I got up and went to the kitchen. I looked through his kitchen supplies and saw that I can make some pasta.

I started cooking everything and was humming to a song I was playing on the speaker. I was cutting an onion when Seungwoo’s arms suddenly wrapped on my waist and he placed his chin on my shoulder.

**“What are you cooking? It smells nice.”** He said as he hugged me tighter.

**“That surgery must’ve taken a toll on you to think of water with salt being boiled is something that smells nice.”** I told him as I continued preparing everything.

**“Then what is it?”** Seungwoo asked again, and before I could even start cutting up the garlic, I suddenly felt his lips kissing my neck and shoulder.

I froze and I can feel him grinning against my skin. **“Do you want me to cut my hand?”** I asked him and he immediately let me go. I suddenly felt the emptiness when he released me, but I think it was better than not being able to cook properly with him distracting me.

**“Sorry. I’ll be a good boy.”** He kissed my left cheek before he moved to the other side of the kitchen counter and sat down on of the chairs in front of where I was standing.

I continued cooking, and thanks to his consideration of leaving me alone, I was able to finish cooking fast. Seungwoo started feasting on it, and he looked like he was really hungry.

**“This is good. You can get married now.”** He looked up at me with a smiling face but he had a smudge of sauce on the side of his lips. **“We can get married.”**

I don’t know what came over me, but my index finger swiped the sauce from the side of his lips and I put it in my mouth. Seungwoo looked stunned with what I just did and he stopped eating.

**“We can’t get married if you eat messily like a kid.” **I teased him and he suddenly put down the fork and stood up.

**“Well then, let’s just eat as messily as we want then.”** Seungwoo walked over to my side of the kitchen counter while carrying the plate of pasta.

He picked up one strand of pasta and gestured me to open my mouth. Like a dumb kid, I opened my mouth and instead of putting the pasta into my mouth, he purposely let some part of the past smear some sauce onto my chin.

**“Ya!”** I told him as I hit his chest lightly.

**“You eat messily like a kid in need of pampering.”** Before I could even react, he moved closer and he licked my chin.

I moved away and gaped at him. **“What are you doing?”**

Seungwoo grinned and lifted me to sit on top of the kitchen counter. He then took another strand of pasta.

**“I think it’s time to eat this pasta as messily as we can.”**

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reaching the end once again! Don't forget to give some love! ^_^ :* See ya!


	16. Hate That I Love You - 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Were his words of love ever real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Early update. Surprise! Maybe a new chapter again later? We'll see. Sorry about the cliffhangers. I'm not really comfortable with writing bed scenes since I believe that doing the 'deed' should be reserved for the person you married. So... hehe. But it doesn't hurt to imply sometimes.

**Hate That I Love You – 16**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’s Trash**

**“What are you doing?” **Tae Unnie peeked from behind me as I placed the stir-fried beef, I just finished cooking, into a container.

**“I’m making a _dosirak_ for Seungwoo.”** I said then started cutting up the orange so that it will be easier to eat.

**“Ooh. A lunch box filled with love for your lover boy, huh?”** she poked my sides, and I almost let go of the orange I was placing onto its container.

**“Unnie!”** I frowned at her as she raised her hands to show that she’ll stop tickling me.

**“Fine. Fine.”**

**“Where’s Yoona Unnie?”** I looked around coz I haven’t seen her since I got up to cook for Seungwoo.

I remember how that big baby pouted and whined that he wants to eat _dosirak_ at work. So here I am, up so early during my day off, making a lunch box for my boyfriend who is such a big baby.

* * *

** _“Please. Please. Eung? I want to eat some of your cooking at work… and maybe show off a bit.”_ ** _ Seungwoo nagged while pouting as we were eating out one day. We went to an amusement park and he was wearing this ridiculously cute headband with cute ears._

_ _

** _“What do you mean ‘show off’?”_ ** _ I asked him as I continued eating my corndog._

** _“You haven’t been to my workplace once since we dated. My colleagues are dying to meet you in person. So, I wanted to show off my wonderful girlfriend and make them believe that the picture girl I kept on showing them in my phone isn’t a figment of my imagination.” _ **

** _“You what?”_ ** _ I looked at him with disbelief._

** _“I may have… hehe… shown your picture around my workplace to my sunbaenims… hehehe.”_ ** _ Seungwoo smiled cheekily at me and ate his food while he avoided my gaze._

_I gaped at him. **“Ya! Han Seungwoo!”**_

** _“Waeee? I’m just being proud to have you as my girlfriend.” _ ** _Then he started mumbling to himself. **“Besides, you have no idea how hard I try to avoid so many nurses at work.”**_

** _“What was that?”_ ** _ I asked him with narrowed eyes._

_Seungwoo sighed and removed the head band as he held my hands. _

** _“I said please make me a lunch box so that I can feel loved because you’ve been holding back those words from me.”_ **

* * *

**“Yoona’s gonna be away for about two months. She didn’t tell you? I thought she bid you goodbye last night?”** Tae Unnie said as she took a piece of kimchi from the big container that mom gave me.

**“Was her flight today? I totally forgot. Ugh! I think she did say goodbye to me last night, but I totally forgot because I thought I was dreaming.”**

**“We understand. It’s hard to stay focused after getting laid.” **She giggled then ran away.

**“Unnie!”**

I was on my way to Seungwoo’s hospital when I suddenly received a text message from him.

> ** _From: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _Hey! I just got out of surgery. Where are you?_
> 
> ** _To: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _I’m on my way. It’s still early to eat lunch._
> 
> ** _From: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _I’m just in a hurry to see you. Ppali!_
> 
> ** _To: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _Well, I’m not the one who’s driving so I have no control over the speed of this taxi._
> 
> ** _From: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _Send me your location please. :*_
> 
> ** _To: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _Stalker! *rolls eyes*_
> 
> ** _From: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _I just want to track your location. Please, baby. I want to know you’re safe. *pouts*_
> 
> ** _To: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _Pfft. Fine. You should just put a tracker on my phone then._

I sent him my location with a smile.

> ** _From: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _That’s a great idea. Maybe I will put a tracker on your phone. I see you. You’ll probably here in 15 minutes. See you later. Love you! :*_

He’s been saying the words more frequently than ever after he has said it once. I mean, not that I’m complaining. But I don’t know what’s holding me back from saying the words. I even sometimes feel frustrated at myself because I haven’t said the words back to him.

It was after that night, when I cooked him pasta, when he said it.

* * *

_We were cleaning up the spilled pasta all over the kitchen countertop after our very messy make out session._

** _“You wasted perfectly good food.”_ ** _ I told him as I threw away the last bits of pasta that fell to the floor._

** _“Well, that was just the garnish. You were really the main ingredient in that food.”_ ** _ Seungwoo grinned at me as he captured my already swollen lips once again._

** _“Yah!”_ ** _ I pulled away. If we don’t stop now, I’ll probably be teased by Hwasa when I get to work. **“What’s with you?”**_

** _“I was jealous.”_ ** _ My eyes snapped to his face. He did look annoyed now._

** _“Huh? About what?”_ **

** _“About your sunbae at work. That Dr. Leo Jung who sent you home.”_ ** _ Seungwoo said as he wound his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him._

_Seungwoo’s eyes locked with mine, the strong feel of his arms around my waist make me feel secured and warm. At the sight of the look in his eyes, my heart slowed and I felt as though I’m teetering on the edge of a cliff._

** _“I told you I’m a very territorial man when it comes to you and I don’t like how that sunbae of yours look your way every time I pick you up from work. I even hate the fact that he drove you home when I couldn’t pick you up. Ugh.”_ ** _ Seungwoo declared with a grunt. He paused, moistening his also swollen lips._

_I looked away. The intensity I could feel from his stare was too much for my heart to take. His firm slender fingers forced my chin to look towards his way._

** _“I said I’ll rein in my possessiveness of you. But when I see guys around you, gawking at you, the alpha in me can’t stay still.”_ ** _ Seungwoo took a deep breath. **“I just love you too much not to get jealous.”**_

* * *

**“Miss, we’re already here.”** The cab driver called my attention and I paid him.

_Maybe I’ll tell him tonight when he gets home._

It’s not like it’s something new to me. Even before we got together, I already loved him. Maybe I was just holding back because I’m afraid we might not work out and I’ll end up getting hurt. But now that I’m sure about him and our relationship, maybe now I won’t hold back.

I thanked the cab driver and once I was out of the cab, I was immediately pulled into a pair of arms I love so much.

**“You took longer than I expected.”** Seungwoo said as he hugged me tight.

**“Nice to see you too.”** I told him as I hugged him back.

**“I missed you, baby.”** He suddenly kissed me. I pulled back because we were practically at the main entrance of the hospital.

**“Ya! We’re in a public place.”** I chastised him.

Seungwoo let me go, scratched his head and smiled at me. **“Sorry. I just missed you so bad it felt like days since I last saw you.”**

**“You just saw me this morning, let me remind you.”** I pinched his nose but I smiled at him.

_Maybe I can really entrust him my whole heart._

**“Let’s go.”** Seungwoo took the paper bag containing the lunch box from me and held my hand with his free one as he led me to a cafeteria.

**“What did you bring me?”** He asked as I put the _dosirak_ on the table and opened each container I brought.

I made stir-fried beef with some rice, some stir-fried vegetables and braised black beans. I also opened the container for the kimchi mom gave me last time she visited. Plus the orange I sliced earlier.

[ ](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/d2/83/f5/d283f50d4dcde7a02d87c19bdbe08e9f.jpg)

**“Whoa! That looks delicious, Dr. Han.”** A man in a white lab coat was suddenly beside Seungwoo and slapped him on the shoulder. **“I now see why you’ve been showing off your girlfriend everywhere.”**

**“Oh, _sunbaenim_.”** Seungwoo looked back and introduced me to Dr. Kim, his favorite sunbaenim and mentor in the surgery department. I heard he’s a really great surgeon and is also a double board in general surgery and cardio-thoracic surgery.

I invited him to eat with us, but the older man declined. **“Seungwoo’s been wanting to show you off around the hospital. This _sunbae_ of his won’t trample down on his dream to do so by sitting with the two of you and being a third wheel.”**

Dr. Kim then left and I gaped at Seungwoo. He wasn’t kidding when he showed my picture off to his colleagues, because there we so many more doctors and nurses who passed by and introduced themselves.

**“Those pranksters.”** Seungwoo shook his head after his friends Dr. Kookheon and Dr. Yuvin teased Seungwoo by trying to sit on either my side, but Seungwoo glared at the two of them so they left after taking a few pieces of black beans.

I laughed at him because he was still sulking while he was eating.

**“Ya. Don’t frown like that while eating the food I made. People might think I’m a horrible cook.”**

Seungwoo immediately smiled and acted as if he was in a CF while eating.

**“Not like that. That looks so unrealistic.”** I rolled my eyes at him.

We laughed as we finished eating the rest of our food. We got up and he showed me around the hospital and where he was currently stationed, the surgery department.

**“Hey, Dr. Han.”** A female nurse with short hair came up to us and smiled very brightly at Seungwoo.

_I don’t like this._ I thought to myself. _And did she just speak to a doctor informally. What? ‘Hey’?_

**“How was your lunch?”** She talked to him as if I wasn’t there.

**“It was very delicious, Nurse Eunjung, especially since my girlfriend here made it.”** Seungwoo put his arm on my shoulders and pulled me close to his side.

**“Oh.”** The nurse called Nurse Eunjung smiled awkwardly at me.

**“Meet my girlfriend and best friend, Dr. Park Yoonhye. Baby, this is Nurse Ham Eunjung.”** Seungwoo introduced the two of us. We both greeted each other, albeit very awkwardly, and shook hands.

Another woman suddenly came up to us and greeted Seungwoo. She must be a doctor since she’s also wearing a lab coat similar to Seungwoo’s.

**“Hey, Seungwoo. You wanna grab some lunch? I just finished my rounds.”** The new arrival said and looked at me because Seungwoo still had his arms around my shoulder. She looked me up and down then returned his attention to Seungwoo.

**“Sorry, _sunbaenim._ I already ate lunch with my girlfriend here. She brought me some _dosirak.”_ **Seungwoo said proudly, but the two women in front of us looked unimpressed.

**“Well, okay then. Let’s go Nurse Ham.”** The two women passed by us, and I could swear Seungwoo’s _sunbae_ gave me a sideway glance when she passed by my side.

**“You have so many beautiful co-workers here.”** I commented when they finally left. **“And they seem to have a crush on you.”**

**“Why? You jealous?”** Seungwoo smiled widely as I rolled my eyes at him. This is why I don’t voice out my jealousy to him. It gives his ego a boost.

**“Well, beautiful or not. You’re the only beautiful woman in my eyes.”** Then it’s like he remembered something. **“Aside from my mom and your mom.”**

I chuckled when he said that. **“Well then, you better make sure not to let your eyes stray, okay?” **I arranged the collar of his lab coat, I did it a bit harshly though, but I still had a smile on my face.

**“Well, if you are done flirting and showing your girlfriend around, will you care to go with me to the patient we operated on yesterday? It will just take a few minutes.” **Dr. Kim was suddenly there and Seungwoo let me go.

**“I’ll be back.”** He said as he scratched the back of his head.

**“Take your time. I’ll just go to the comfort room.”**

I was about to get out of the stall when I heard two familiar voices talking as they got inside the comfort room.

**“Have you seen him holding that large leather-bound notebook?”**

**“Oh. The one he’s been reading over and over again during his free time?”**

**“Yes. So, he once left it open in his desk in the lounge so I took a peek at it and you won’t believe what I read.”**

_Leather-bound notebook?_

**“I think it’s a diary of his girlfriend. Or more like a list of confessions her for Seungwoo.”** I could hear the disgust in her voice. **“Here. I took a picture of some of the pages.”**

_NO!_ I was panicking inside when I heard what they were talking about. _It can’t be._

_ _

* * *

> “I hate that he’s the guy who has it all. I hate that he’s got a chiseled face and a god-like body to match it. Hate that his mouth is sometimes like it’s made from honey, sweet and tempting – a constant torture to my poor mind. Hate that everything that comes out of it, either words being spoken or lyrics being sung, is too sweet for anyone’s sanity – especially mine. Hate that he’s an effortless social butterfly who attracts people easily, but doesn’t leave the socially awkward me behind.
> 
> “I hate that despite being polar opposites in every aspect in our lives, he doesn’t really seem to care about it. Because I am his friend. And the thing that I hate the most about him, is that I love him. I love him despite being only a friend to him. It breaks my heart and that’s why I hate that I love you, Han Seungwoo.
> 
> **“**I also hate that he can effortlessly make my heart race without him knowing. I just hate how I look up at him and the sun shines even brighter behind him.
> 
> “I hate that he can move his body in fluid motion, while I'm a major disaster. I hate that his scent is like a drug. One whiff and I’m possessed. I hate that even when he jokes about things, they makes my heart skip a beat. How I hate that he can turn my mind into a wreck when he looks at me with serious eyes. I hate how he does things like taking care of me and watching out for me, but then ends up looking at another girl – because I’m just a friend to him. I hate that he’s overly caring whenever I injure myself, because it just comes back to one thing – I’m his best friend. I hate that everyone wants him. It makes me feel like a jealous girlfriend, which I have no right to feel in any way.
> 
> “I hate that his dimples look so adorable, I always wanna poke them whenever they make an appearance. I hate that he is such a social butterfly, a complete contrast to socially awkward me. I hate that he’s always right about things. About how I should never aggravate an injury so that it won’t get worse. But I’m not sure that can also be applied to injuries of the heart. I hate that everything little he does, makes my heart skip a beat. I hate that his scent always makes me go insane a little more for him each time. I hate that whenever I hear him say that we’re best friends, my heart breaks a little more each time. I hate that his side profile looks as good as when you’re looking at his front, especially when he’s driving. It’s so unfair that he’s this good-looking!
> 
> “How I hate that he’s annoyingly perfect he is in every aspect of his life. I hate that he looks good in anything he wears. I think you can put a sack of rice on him and he’d still rock it! I hate that his tattoos are as sinful as the man adorned by them. I hate that his height makes me feel like I’m a midget, even though I’m not that small. How I hate that his eyes can turn my legs into jelly when he stares at me. I hate that he’s overprotective that I sometimes overestimate his care for me. And I hate that me overestimating his concern for me means I’m just in for another heartache. I hate that every time he shows me even a pinch of concern, I think it’s more than that. I hate that even the people around him doesn’t want me to forget about him. I hate that even if I see someone else who is good-looking, Seungwoo always comes out on top for me. I hate that Seungwoo was never this forgetful about important stuff. I hate that he sometimes becomes odd out of the blue.
> 
> “I hate how my decisions always included Seungwoo in them. I hate that everything he does sends my mind to another place. A place filled with fantasies about me and him. I hate that being in close proximity to Seungwoo makes my heart want to explode from happiness. I hate that I do stupid things because of him. I hate that he’s so hard to read sometimes! I hate how he looks extra good-looking whenever he’s wearing a suit and looks so professional. I hate that he’s such a gentleman. But it’s not like he’s only a gentleman to me. I hate that whenever I think of being separated from him, it feels like we’re breaking up.
> 
> “I hate that despite having someone who is almost perfect in every aspect standing in front of me, it’s Seungwoo that I’m still looking for.”

* * *

Hearing them read out loud the contents of my diary made me feel like that girl again. That girl who pined over her best friend for years. The girl who was never supposed to end up with a man as perfect as Seungwoo, but she still somehow ended up dating him.

**“Oh my God. She sounds so desperate. Ugh. It’s no wonder he’s smiling while reading it. He must’ve found it so ridiculous.”**

**“I know right? Maybe he pitied her just because he’s been her best friend for years and she suddenly pined over him. He didn’t want to break hear heart. I heard their families have been friends since their parents were friends since college, I think?”**

**“I don’t think it’s fair. It’s like she got free pass to become Dr. Han’s girlfriend just because she got lucky with her parents.”**

**“I know right? It’s not like her looks can match up to Seungwoo’s looks. I mean, she even said so herself in her diary.”**

**“He’s like _way_ up here, and she’s just…” **The two women laughed.

_Oh God. _I felt so numb as they continued mocking me, what I wrote in my diary, and how I ended up dating Seungwoo.

**“You’re a lot better choice for a girlfriend for a man such as Dr. Han, Dr. Yoon. You’ve got the looks, brains and talent. She looks so… plain.”**

**“I heard she’s in the top of their class when they graduated. But brains can’t sometimes equate to capability in an actual hospital setting. Maybe she’s a horrible doctor. What a waste for Han Seungwoo. Maybe if he met me first then he would’ve never look at someone like her. Well, we can’t beat childhood friendship.”**

The two of them laughed as they washed their hands.

**“You know what, Dr. Bora, if I got myself a hottie boyfriend like Dr. Han through my parents, I don’t think I can raise my head and be proud that he’s mine. He could even have mistaken his feelings for love when it was just familiarity since they’ve been friends for so long.”**

I put my hands to my lips to prevent a sob from coming out as I feel my tears flow down my cheeks with every word that they’re saying.

But they’re right though. I only got close to Seungwoo because our parents were close since college. We practically grew up seeing each other on birthdays, anniversaries and holidays because our family is so close to one another. And I’ve always known that I’m not pretty. My being Plain Jane is even more highlighted because of his superior looks when we’re together.

They left a while ago, but I still couldn’t get out of the stall where I was hiding and crying quietly. Even when I was still listing all the things, I hate about him, I knew that we’ll never be a match. The words of the two women just proved to me that my thoughts back then were right.

I will never be good enough for Han Seungwoo. Sooner or later, he will realize that maybe he’s just familiar with me and that’s why he thinks he’s in love with me when in reality he wasn’t. Maybe his declaration of love had only been triggered by him seeing the contents of my diary.

_You should keep it in a safe place so that other people won’t see it._ Yuri’s words suddenly rang inside my head.

My phone buzzed when I received a text from Seungwoo.

> ** _From: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _Where are you?_
> 
> _I thought you’re only going to go to the comfort room. _
> 
> _What’s taking you so long?_
> 
> _Were you kidnapped by some random dude? ._._
> 
> _I miss you already _ _ㅜ_ _._ _ㅜ_
> 
> _Please come back to me _ _ㅠㅠ_
> 
> _Baby~_

I sobbed again when I saw his texts.

_I hate how he’s not really doing anything, but my heart is breaking right now just thinking about him._

> ** _To: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _Got an emergency at work. They asked me to go to work._

I sent the message.

_Liar._

> ** _From: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _Where are you? Let me send you back. I’ve already finished checking up on the patient with Dr. Kim. I can drive you back to your workplace._

_I hate that he’s always so caring, now I’m starting to think he’s just doing it out of familiarity and not out of love._

> ** _To: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _It’s okay. I’m already inside a cab. I’ll text you when I reach the hospital._

As I got out of the comfort room, after much retouching so that I won’t look like a wreck when I get out. I hurriedly got out of the hospital and hailed a cab. I didn’t want Seungwoo to see me and learn that I lied to him.

I told the driver the location and now I’m here, walking barefoot in the sand. I went to the beach and now I’m just walking mindlessly as I mulled over the thoughts that had been bothering me since I agreed to become Seungwoo’s girlfriend.

I turned off my phone because I know he will call me again to ask if I got to the hospital safely. As I got tired and sat down on the sand, I just looked towards the sun that’s slowly setting.

I always thought of Seungwoo as the sun. When I first realized that I was in love with him, it felt like a stab of sunset. My heart was filled with blazing colors of realizations with different beautiful hues. Those hues represented so varying degrees of how much I loved him.

I forgot that after those beautiful hues comes the darkness, when the sun finally sets. A darkness that overcomes all else when the sun goes down and can’t ever be replaced by any other source of light for things to look the same again.

If Seungwoo someday realizes that his feelings of love were false and were only borne out of responsibility, familiarity and triggered only by what he read in my diary, his light is bound to leave my side afterwards. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle that.

I _know_ I won’t be able to handle that.

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading once again! I'm so happy to see some constant readers here. Saranghae! <3


	17. Hate That I Love You - 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boat is sinking... Group yourselves into... one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one short chapter but it drained me emotionally. Ugh! I hope you enjoy it!

**Hate That I Love You – 17**

**By:**

**SuJuX1sTrash**

It was already dark when I got home. Home to my parents’ house, not at the apartment. I felt so drained while I sat on that beach side and watched as the sun set and let the darkness engulf my surroundings. I stood there by the gate and contemplated whether I should ring the bell or just go back. I sighed as I just decided to sit by the porch gate and leaned against it.

I shouldn’t have come here. What am I even doing here? My parents will probably ask me why I’m suddenly here at this hour. They didn’t need to know that there’s something bothering me. I decided to just go before anyone notices me. But as my luck has it, a car arrived and inside the car were my parents.

**“Yoonhye?”** Mom said as she got out and walked towards me.

**“Hey, _Umma_.”** I stood up and dusted my pants.

**“What are you doing here? Seungwoo’s been looking for you.”**

At the mention of Seungwoo’s name, my tears immediately started falling.

**“Hey. What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”** My mom hugged me and I cried even harder.

My Dad got out of the car and ushered me and my mom inside. **“I think it’s better if we talk about this inside.”**

I was still cradled in my Mom’s arms as we sat down on the couch. I was still crying.

**“Tell me what’s wrong. _Umma_ and _Appa_ will make it all better.”** It was so like my Mom to try and make things better. Whenever I cried because I got hurt. Whenever I cried because I broke something. My Mom had always been there to make sure to stop the tears from flowing.

_Just like Seungwoo._

Fresh tears came as thoughts of Seungwoo came to my mind.

**“_Umma_…”** It was all I could say before crying again.

**“Shhh. It’s okay, Sweetie. Don’t cry.”** My mom cooed as I clutched onto her.

My heart was breaking into pieces as I recalled everything that happened earlier.

**“Are you crying because of Han Seungwoo? Did he hurt you?”** Dad asked sternly and I shook my head immediately.

**“No, _Appa._ He didn’t hurt me.”**

**“Then why are you crying?”** Mom asked me and my sobs came back.

**“_Umma_. I’m not sure Seungwoo really loves me.”**

Mom gave me a disbelieving look. **“What are you saying?”**

**“I’m saying, what if he thinks he loves me just because he’s too familiar with me? What if he’s deluded that he loves me more than just a friend because he’s too attached to me?”**

I hiccupped as I said those words. I know it doesn’t make sense. But it’s hard to explain when you’re also confused with what’s happening.

**“Hello. Seungwoo.”**

I gave a horrified look towards my Dad’s direction. He was on the phone and was talking to Seungwoo.

**“Don’t worry. Yoonhye’s here.”** He listened before speaking again with authority. **“It’s very late, Seungwoo. You can come see her tomorrow.”**

Dad hung up the call before he turned his direction towards my direction.

**“You have until tomorrow morning to explain what’s making you cry like that.”** Dad said before heading upstairs to probably change.

Even my dad is probably mad at me right now.

**“He’s not mad at you, Sweetie. Your _Appa_ was just so worried earlier when Seungwoo called me to ask if you were with us. He didn’t say anything and just told me to call him when I see you.”**

**“I’m sorry, _Umma. _For making you and _Appa_ worried about me.”**

**“We couldn’t reach your phone so of course we got worried that something might’ve happened to you.”** Mom hugged me and sighed in relief. **“Thank God nothing happened.”**

Once I calmed down a bit, my Mom forced me to eat something before going upstairs with me to my old room.

**“I’ll come back after changing clothes.”** Mom said as she closed the door behind me.

I sat down on my bed and noticed the photo on my nightstand. It was my high school graduation photo with Seungwoo. We looked so carefree in the photo. He was carrying me on his back and we had huge grins on our faces.

The tears started falling again as I remembered how happy we were back then. How is it that we were fine being best friends and now it’s so complicated that we were dating? We could tell every little secret we have with one another without filter. We would even message each other on _Kakaotalk_ while we were in the bathroom, pooping. We’d joke around and embarrassing moments like we have no care in the world. Things weren’t so complicated back then.

I scoffed at myself. Who am I kidding? I have pined for Seungwoo since high school. Things weren’t so complicated, maybe on Seungwoo’s side, but not mine. Everything became complicated since I started liking him. I shouldn’t have. I knew I shouldn’t have entertained the foreign feelings in the first place. But I didn’t listen to my gut feeling. Gut feeling that now became a horrible nightmare because I am now in this mess.

I put the album down and changed clothes. It was a good thing my Mom forced me to leave some clothes home in case I did need to go home and wouldn’t have any clothes to change into. She was right. My Mom had always been right.

I was curled up in my bed when my Mom entered.

**“Hey, Sweetie, you still awake?”**

I moved to sit up on the bed so that she can sit beside me.

**“Now, tell me what’s bothering my little girl?”** She held my hands and listened as I poured out every doubt and every reservation I have been having with my relationship with Seungwoo.

I told her that he has told me he loves me and how I was so hesitant to say the words back. How I was scared that if I said the words back, he’d finally have the chance to completely break my heart. How I’ve finally realized that just this morning I was ready to say the words he wanted to hear so bad, but then find out that he’s known all along that I’ve been in love with him for a long time because he read my diary. How little it made me feel to hear the words of Seungwoo’s co-workers. How their words made me realize that I’ll never be good enough for him. How they were right that I got free pass to be around him just because our families are close.

**“What if he just said the words ‘I love you’ because he felt obligated to say it after reading what I wrote in my diary?”** I was sobbing once again as I told her what happened.

**“What if he doesn’t really love me… more than a friend?” **My voice cracked at the last words.

My Mom sighed as she hugged me tighter. She quietly listened as I told her what happened.

**“Sweetie. You’ve been friends with Seungwoo since you were kids. Have you ever seen him be forced to do something because other people told him to?”**

I shook my head.

**“I’m in no position to talk about this now, since you two should talk it out first amongst yourselves first. But I’m not happy seeing you hurting like this. I don’t like seeing how little you think of yourself because you don’t think you deserve him. Don’t think so little of yourself just because other people say so. Always remember. You are your own person. You are so much more than Han Seungwoo’s unfit girlfriend.”** Mom pulled away and smiled at me. **“But whatever you decide with what’s gonna happen to your relationship, your Dad and I will always be here for you.”**

* * *

I got up early the next day and put on a jacket. I headed to a place where I usually hang out in the neighborhood when I wanted to have place to think. It was a hidden park up on a small hill near our house. I left a note on the fridge so that my parents won’t worry that I have run off to some place without telling anyone.

It was still early so at least I didn’t need to greet anyone I came across with. In no time, I reached the park and found my thinking spot. A bench facing towards a small lake. I sat down and watched as the sun rose into view. I watched as the sun spread its gleaming tendrils to every corner in this dark forest.

I watched as it dawns on me what was wrong with my relationship with Seungwoo. I thought of Seungwoo as the unreachable sun. I’ve place him on top of a high pedestal and now I’m realizing that I’m too inadequate that it’s eating me. It’s eating my self esteem more than it had when we were still just best friends. The happy times I’ve spent with Seungwoo while we were dating, just swept the real issue under the rug. It didn’t fully eliminate the problem.

With a decision finally in my mind, I opened my phone and texted Seungwoo. I completely ignored all the messages and miss call notifications that came.

> ** _To: Pabo Seungwoo_ **
> 
> _Thinking spot_

I turned off my phone after sending the message. I’m sure he’ll call me the minute he receives the message and I don’t think I can talk to him on the phone about my decision. I have to tell him in person.

* * *

An hour later, I heard footsteps from behind me and I immediately knew who it was. Just like how I can always feel his presence whenever he was near me, even without looking. That’s how hyperaware I was of Seungwoo. I steeled myself as I stood up and turned to look at him.

I was shocked to see Seungwoo look so… unlike him. Instead of the always good-looking and clean-shaven guy I was so used to seeing, he looked like was so sleep-deprived. Even with more that 24 hours of duty in the hospital, he has never looked this haggard. I saw how his jaws clenched before he walked towards me in big strides and I was suddenly enveloped in his arms.

I felt him shudder and take a deep breath as he hugged me tightly to his tall frame.

**“Where have you been? I was looking all over for you.”** He said as he took another deep ragged breath as if he was reining in his emotions. **"Do you know how worried I was?"**

_I know. I'm sorry. But I have to do this._

**“Why didn’t you tell me you found my diary?” **His hold on me loosened and I used this opportunity to step out of his hold.

**“About that—”** Seungwoo started, but I shook my head.

**“It doesn’t matter anymore how my diary ended up with you or how you’ve finally learned that I’ve loved you for so long after reading the contents of my diary.”**

Seungwoo held both of my hands in his. **“Then what does? Please tell me. I’m sorry about your diary. I know it wasn’t right of me to read your diary. But I got so curious since I suddenly found it in my car. And once I read the first line… I couldn’t stop. I never knew you've liked me for so long.”**

**“I told you. It doesn’t matter.”** I looked at him and I immediately regret it because I saw how pained he was while looking at me. I know he regrets reading my diary, regrets invading my privacy by doing so, but I have to steel myself and not get swayed.

**“What are you saying?”**

**“When I first met you, I thought of you as the sun. You brought so much color to my otherwise very dull life. You brought me out of my isolation because I was an only child. I still remember how you got in trouble for fighting that bully when we were kids because he pushed me and I got a scratch on my knees. I still remember how you would refuse to go home without me. How you would always wait for me to finish my meals before you stood up to put away our food trays at school. How you would always bring me to meet your new friends so that I would never feel left out just because you met new friends.**

**“I still remember that one time you ran out of a blind date during senior high school, just because I stupidly told you that I had no umbrella one night and was waiting for the rain to pass in that waiting shed, only for you to come running to that waiting shed soaked in rain while holding an umbrella you forgot to use. I remember how you injured your knee and even got surgery for it, but returned to school earlier because you didn’t want me to feel alone in the classroom because you know how introverted I was when I’m all by myself in school.**

**“There were so many things that you did for me and I realized how I didn't notice them before because I was too absorbed with my own feelings of unreciprocated love for you. Instead of being thankful that I have a very caring and loving best friend, I was so absorbed in my own feelings of hopelessness that you will never see me as more than just your friend and best friend.”**

**“Why are you saying all of these? Yoonhye-ya…”** Seungwoo tried to wipe my tears but I turned my face away from his touch. He was shocked with what I did, but I can’t let his actions dissuade me from my decision.

**“I realized that no matter how much I love you and no matter how much you love me, be it borne out of familiarity or just love in itself, I have to love myself first. My way of thinking has been very detrimental to the way I was living my life. My insecurities about not being able to be the perfect match for you has been what was holding me back from saying the words 'I love you' back when you first told me you love me. It’s not even my doubt for your love anymore that is bothering me. It’s my love for myself that’s tearing me apart. Because I realized I don't love myself as much as I love you. Every time I hear people saying that I'm not good enough for you, I feel like I lose a part of myself that I love. I'm losing myself in the process while I love you.”**

I took a deep breath and looked at him straight in the eyes. It felt like a stab to the heart to realize I was throwing away one of the best things that’s happened in my life. All because I was too stupid to actually let my insecurities eat away my self-confidence.

**“You’ve been like the sun that drove away all of the clouds that cast shadows in my life. But I realized that I should never look for another person to drive away the darkness in my life. That I should be the sun for myself. That I should be the one, who first and foremost, will be the source of my strength and not to depend on another person for it. My mom was right. I am more than just your girlfriend, Seungwoo. I am more than just your best friend. And I realized that the only way for us to realize that fully is to—”**

**“STOP!”** Seungwoo suddenly said as he grasped my hands frantically in his. Tears were starting to form in his eyes.

**“Seungwoo-ya...”** I removed my hands from his hold and held his face in my hands. He held them and he turned to kiss my palm.

**“Don’t do this, please.”** It breaks my heart to hear him beg, but I have to do this, for both our sakes.

**“Even if we continue being in a relationship, I’m scared that my way of thinking will complicate things even more and our relationship might grow toxic because of me. I might ruin not only our romantic relationship but also the friendship we've shared since childhood until there's nothing left.”**

**“I won’t let that happen. I’ll tell you when you’re being too negative about something. I’ll remind you not to overthink about the things that happen around us without our control. I'll make sure not to let you think negatively of yourself. Just please. Don’t put an expiration date on our relationship just yet. Don't ever put one because I want us to last.”**

I bit my lip to stop the onslaught of sobs that were wracking my body. Seungwoo was crying and it felt like every drop of his tear that fell to my hands were made of acid because it hurt so much.

**“I’m sorry. But I have to find the strength to love myself first before I can actually start a relationship with you. With anyone.”** I took a deep breath but it felt like there wasn’t enough air to fill the gaping hole that was starting to fester in my chest. **“I love you, Han Seungwoo. As my childhood friend, as my best friend, and as my boyfriend. I’m sorry, but I have to let you go.”**

I stepped forward and stood on my tiptoes as I gave him one final kiss. Our lips touched and I could taste the combination of our tears in my mouth. I pulled away before I could back out of my decision.

**“Goodbye.”**

I slowly released his face from my hold and gave him one final smile before I turned away from him and walked away from my sun. Walked away from the man I love. The only man I think I’ll ever love.

With every step that I took, tears continue to fall as my heart shatters inside my chest.

I love you, Han Seungwoo. But I have to learn to love myself first.

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what are your thoughts? Comment down below. (I sounded like a Youtuber when I said that but who cares?! HAHAHAHA)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to give some love! :*


	18. Hate That I Love You - 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When tears fall down, just know, separation is another kind of understanding”

**Hate That I Love You – 18**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’s Trash**

**“So, when are you coming back here?”** Tae Unnie asked from the other line. She’s been asking me that for a month now. **“It’s lonely without you here. And Yoona’s still overseas. You girls left me all alone!”**

I can imagine Tae Unnie pouting while talking to me on the phone. I smile slightly.

**“You know I can’t go back there right now. Not when he’s living beside our place.”**

Yes. It’s been a month since I’ve split with him. I can’t even say his name because sometimes the name also bears the pain, so as much as possible, I don’t want to hear or speak his name.

**“But he’s barely even back to his place after what happened to you guys.” **I’ve heard her say it before, but I don’t want to risk it. The pain is still fresh, for the both of us. Tae Unnie sighed when I didn’t respond. **“Well then, fine. But please come to Baekhyun’s birthday party.”**

I sighed.

**“Please?”** Tae Unnie begged. And I kind of feel guilty knowing she’s actually alone by herself in our apartment.

**“Fine.”** I finally acceded. **“When’s the party?”**

She told me the time and place and even told me to invite some friends of mine so that I won’t feel so alone in case she gets carried by the birthday boy to meet other people.

**“Okay.”** I’ll probably bring Hyo, Yuri and Hwasa.

**“See you!”**

I ended the call as I got back to the chart in front of me. I have to focus so that I won’t make any more mistakes while reading the patients’ charts. One time, I was scolded so bad by the Internal Medicine Department Chairman because I forgot to write down in the patient’s chart that she has an allergy to a certain medication. Luckily the nurse in charge of the patient was able to learn from the patient that she’s allergic to it. I could’ve ended my career because of that, and I won’t make that same mistake twice.

**“You’ve been quite the talk of the whole hospital.”** Hwasa sat down beside me.

**“What did I do now?”** I asked her wryly. I thought the issue regarding the patient has died down and I apologized so many times already, but I guess I was wrong.

**“They’re saying it’s been a month since they’ve seen that hot boyfriend of yours and that Dr. Jung has been hanging around you more frequently lately. They’re saying words along the lines of ‘infidelity’, ‘two-timing’ and ‘playgirl’.”**

I scoffed at that. Can’t I get any peace even at work?

**“Don’t worry. They had an earful from me after they said those things.”**

I chuckled a bit. **“Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, Hwasa.”**

**“Have you guys still not patched things up? I want to see you glowing with love again and not being surrounded by darkness because of your broken heart.”**

I sighed and smiled at her. **“I was the one who broke up with him, remember? He didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one who had a problem and I’m still trying to fix myself.”**

**“Ugh!”** Hwasa groaned. **“I hate modern-thinking women. You should’ve just dated in bliss, got married and brought beautiful babies into this world filled with filth.”**

**“Well, if the world is filled with filth, I’m becoming hesitant to bring children into this world then.”**

There was silence between us. **“When are you getting back together? I swear if I just had a connection with him, I would’ve locked the two of you together in a room and spiked your drink with something so you’ll finally do _it_ with him and the two of you will be stuck together for life.”**

I looked at her in disbelief. _WHAT?!_

**“I’m kidding.”** Hwasa said with her hands up as she stood up. **“Or maybe he can just kidnap you so that you’ll bend to his will and finally get back together.”**

**“Ya! Ahn Hyejin!”**

**“I told you not to call me that.”** Hwasa glared at me before going out of the station. **“Oh. Hey Dr. Jung.”**

Dr. Leo Jung was suddenly there as he held some charts.

**“Just call me when you’ve finally changed your mind.”** Hwasa said to me as she went on her way.

Dr. Jung’s eyes followed Hwasa as she walked away.

**“What was that about?”** He asked, but I just shrugged my shoulders.

**“Just Hwasa being Hwasa, Dr. Jung.”** I looked at the charts in his hands. **“What’s up, _Sunbaenim_?”**

**“I thought I told you to drop the honorifics and just call me Leo?”**

He’s been insisting I call him that, but I’d be crazy if I do that. First, he’s my senior at work and people, especially Krystal and Jiyeon, will definitely glare at me when I stop calling him _sunbaenim. _Second, he’s older than me so I can’t drop the honorifics since it’s not proper. Third, I can’t just talk to him casually because he’s been trying to ask me out since he heard that I’ve broken up with… /sigh/.

**“You know I can’t do that, _Sunbaenim._ People will talk. And I’ve had enough issues right now to handle.”**

**“Then don’t listen to them. Be like me. I don’t care if people say I’m weird and creepy.”**

**“You’re not weird, _Sunbaenim. _Neither are you creepy. You’re just quiet that’s why they’re awkward around you.”**

Dr. Jung smiled. **“And that’s why I like you. You’re not scared of me.”**

And that’s why I don’t want to cross that line between _hoobae _and _sunbae_ between us. He’s been telling me he likes me and I don’t think it’s just the kind of like as in you like a person’s personality. Plus, I’m not fully moved on from Seungwoo to even think of going out with someone else.

At the thought of Seungwoo’s name, I had to swallow back the sob that was in danger of coming out.

**“You’re not a monster, why would I get scared of you, _Sunbaenim_?”** I asked him and I had to clear my throat. **“What’s with the charts? Do you have any patient to transfer?”**

He shook his head and told me he just happened to pass by and wanted to say ‘Hi’.

**“See you around, Dr. Yoonhye. I’m still waiting for your response to my invitation to dinner.”** Then he went on his way.

I sighed in relief when he finally left me. I don’t know why, but I really feel uncomfortable when he asks me out to dinner.

**“You must be happy to have another guy fall at your feet when one left.”** I sighed inwardly as I looked back at the new arrival. Why did I have to rotate in the same department as her when I’m having enough problems already.

I didn’t reply to Jiyeon when she spoke. I just ignored her and diverted my attention back to the chart in front of me.

_No negative vibes. No to negative vibes._

**“I think he’s finally realized how you’ve been going around behind his back to flirt with another.”**

_God, give me strength. PLEASE!_

**“Well he definitely got the better end of the stick when you guys broke up. He’ll be able to find a better girl for him. What’s his name again? Han Seungwoo, right?”** Jiyeon smirked at me, and that’s the last straw.

I stood up and she looked shocked when I had a serious expression on my face. She has no right to speak of Seungwoo’s name so casually as if she’s close with him.

**“You know, instead of discussing about other people’s love lives, why don’t you just find one for your self? I’m sure you’ll feel better when you can finally focus on something else and not my life.”** I closed the chart and put my hands on the pockets of my lab coat. **“Maybe try focusing more on saving your patients than some workplace gossip.”**

I went out of the nurse’s station to go on my rounds, but suddenly I was pulled back and Jiyeon suddenly slapped me.

**“You bitch!”** She yelled and before I could even react, she pulled on my hair and slapped me again. **“If it wasn’t for you, Dr. Leo and I would’ve been dating by now. It’s all your fault!”**

**“YA! Let me go!”** I screamed, but she wouldn’t let go of my hair.

She continued pulling my hair while I was frantically trying to remove her hands from my hair. What the hell?! I feel like my scalp is burning from her pulling at my hair!

**“WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!”** Jiyeon froze and I felt her hands loosen on my hair. I used this chance to pull her hands away from my hair and free myself from her.

The Department Chairman of the Internal Medicine Department was standing in front of us and behind him were some Chairmen from the other departments.

_Can this day get any worse?_

* * *

Jiyeon glared at me as we both walked out of the Chairman’s office. She was suspended for a week. I was lucky because a nurse saw the whole thing and told me I wasn’t in any way at fault, so I was just given warning to not cause any more workplace ruckus. I was supposed to say that I wasn’t doing anything, but I held myself back. Talking back will do me no good. Not when he was in a foul mood because two interns from his department were pulling at each other’s hairs and was witnessed by the other chairmen from other departments.

I was on my way to the bathroom, to straighten myself, when I met Dr. Leo.

**“Dr. Yoonhye, what happened to your face and your hair?”** He looked shocked at how I looked right now.

My hair was all disheveled and my cheek probably has a bruise right now, probably from the two slaps I got from Jiyeon.

**“I’m fine, _Sunbaenim._” **

**“Who did this to you?”** I saw his jaws move as he grit his teeth. **“Come with me. I’ll treat your bruise.”**

Dr. Leo was about to grab my hand but I immediately pulled it away from his touch and shook my head.

**“I can handle myself, _Sunbaenim._ I’m still a doctor and I can ask one of the nurses for some help.”**

Dr. Leo looked shocked when I pulled my hand away.

**“I’m a doctor too and I can help you with your bruise.”**

I shook my head again.

**“Stop doing this, _Sunbaenim._ It’s not right. I just got out of a relationship and I’m not ready to enter another one when I know that I haven’t fully moved on.” **I sighed. **“Besides, it’s not right for a resident and an intern who works in the same workplace to have a relationship. You doing this is the reason why I got in this mess in the first place. I’m sorry, _Sunbaenim_. But I still love Han Seungwoo, and I don’t think I’ll stop loving him anytime soon.”**

I walked past him and headed to the bathroom. When I finally got there, I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

**“What did I just do?”** I asked myself in the mirror.

**“I think you just told my big brother to get lost.”** Krystal, who just got in, glared at me through the mirror. **“It’s you who should just get out from my brother’s life. You’re not even worth his attention anyway.”**

**“You know, I don’t get why you hate me so much? I didn’t do anything to you.”** I turned to look at Krystal.

Krystal sneered. **“You got my brother’s attention, that’s what you did.”**

_Got his attention? What?_

**“I told you to stay away from my brother. If anything happens, it’s all your fault.”** And without looking back, Krystal walked out of the comfort room.

_What?_

I was still shocked with everything that’s happened today. I got into a one-sided cat fight with Jiyeon because she likes Dr. Leo. I almost got into trouble again with the Department Chairman because of it. I practically told off my _Sunbaenim_ about his feelings for me when he was just offering to help treat my bruise. Krystal warned me to stay away from his brother because I somehow caught his attention.

_I didn’t do anything! Why is it always my fault?_

I grunted as I feel frustrated with what has happened in the last few hours and washed my face angrily and combed my hair into a decent ponytail. I just stood up for myself, but why do I feel bad about doing so? I went out of the comfort room and immediately went to the Doctors’ Lounge to get my things and clocked out since it’s already time to go home.

My parents were away on a trip for the week, so I felt thankful that they didn’t have to see me like this. I changed out of my hospital clothes and laid in bed to calm myself down.

I’m already frustrated enough with what happened between me and Seungwoo and now things at work are also starting to get out of hand as well.

I grabbed my phone when I received a message.

> ** _From: Bad-Ass Hwasa_ **
> 
> Hey! I heard about what happened earlier. Are you okay?
> 
> **To: Bad-Ass Hwasa**
> 
> I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Luckily, it’s my day off for two days, so I can wait out my bruised cheek at home.
> 
> **From:**
> 
> Well then, karma must’ve seen your bruise because Jiyeon just got into an accident.

I frowned.

> **To: Bad-Ass Hwasa**
> 
> What do you mean by accident?
> 
> **From: Bad-Ass Hwasa**
> 
> Jiyeon just fell from the stairs. She got a broken wrist and it will probably take a few months away from work before she comes back. She’ll be lucky if she gets back to surgery again. My _sunbae_ here in Ortho thinks she’s probably gonna have a hard time recovering back her normal wrist function because of what just happened.

_She injured herself?_

_‘If anything happens, it’s all your fault.’_

I don’t know why, but suddenly Krystal’s words rang in my mind.

> **To: Bad-Ass Hwasa**
> 
> But she’s always wanted to become a surgeon.

Jiyeon did have the skills to become a great surgeon if only she could think past the competition in the hospital.

> **From: Bad-Ass Hwasa**
> 
> It’s not your fault she’s clumsy. Besides, she can still work as a doctor. One who didn’t have to lift a scalpel, that is.

But why do I feel like it’s my fault?

* * *

**“Hey, you should be smiling. This is a party after all.”** Hwasa handed me a drink as she danced to the music.

**“Thanks.”**

**“Oh my God.”** I turned to Yuri and looked at where she was looking at.

I was rooted to my place when I turned to look. I wasn’t prepared to see him again. Not just yet. He was leaning at the bar counter, wearing a simple white shirt and faded ripped jeans, while holding a beer in one hand.

_It’s so unfair that he looks this good with such a simple get-up._

Our eyes met, and I felt his gaze bore into mine despite the distance and people around us.

**“We can go if you want to.”** Yuri asked me when she, Hyo and Hwasa also noticed Seungwoo.

I tore my gaze from him and turned to my friends. I shook my head and gave them a slight smile.

**“It’s okay. I think he got close with Kai because of Taemin and maybe that’s why he’s here. We were bound to bump into each other one of these days, anyway.”**

I didn’t want to disappoint Tae Unnie by leaving the party early. This had been her first request since I lived with my parents again and I can’t just go because Seungwoo was here.

**“Let’s just try not to get too close to him.”** I still can’t trust myself around Seungwoo. I might break down if I have to talk to him, and I’m still not ready. Not just yet.

**“But what about him trying to get close to you?”** Hwasa mouthed behind me.

I closed my eyes, hoping against hope, that it wasn’t Seungwoo’s tall figure standing behind me. But the air carried his scent to my nostrils, Han Seungwoo’s unique scent that I’m all too familiar with, and I could already feel my heart constrict in my chest. I was ready to bolt and just apologize to Tae Unnie later, but I felt his hand on my wrist as I was about to take my first step.

**“Don’t go.”** His hold wasn’t too tight for me to not be able to continue taking my first step, but his voice was laced with so much emotion that I was unable to move.

**“Seungwoo…”** Hyo started, but Seungwoo intercepted her.

**“Please. Let me talk to her.”**

I don’t know what he did, because he was standing right behind me, but my friends nodded and left me alone with him. And as fate would have it, the song _‘Señorita’ _suddenly played.

Seungwoo stood in front of me, still holding my wrist.

**“Dance with me?”** It was a request, not a demand. His tone of voice and the look in his eyes got me to go with him in the middle of the dance floor.

We moved to the beat of the music and I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of being back in his arms again.

**“I wish I could pretend I didn’t need ya~”** Seungwoo started singing to the song’s chorus. The last time we danced to this song, we were still best friends who had feelings with each other. Now we’re exes who still had feelings for one another.

**“All along I’ll be coming for you. And I hope it meant something to you. Call my name and I’ll be coming for you.”** This time he spoke the words.

* * *

I don’t know how we ended up from the dance floor to the back door of the bar. Now here I am, awkwardly standing in front of him, looking at everything else aside from him.

**“Look at me. Please.”** There it is, again. The emotion in his voice.

**“Seungwoo-ya...”** I said, but no more words came out of my mouth.

**“Please.”** Seungwoo held my chin and turned my head towards his way. **“I’m sorry.”**

_What? He’s apologizing?_

**“Wha…?”** I was speechless. Why was he apologizing?

**“I’m sorry for causing your heart to hurt over and over again.”** Suddenly, I was in his arms as he hugged me, and my tears started falling once again. **“Can’t you give me another chance to prove to you how much I love you? How much I have loved you ever since? Let me prove to you that these feelings of mine are not because of familiarity. Let me show you how much I really treasure you not just as my best friend but as a man would take care of the woman he loves.”**

**“Seungwoo-ya. I told you my reason before.”** I said in between sobs. **“It hasn’t been that long. I’m still at the beginning.”**

**“Hasn’t one month been long enough? Each day felt like weeks. Each week felt like years. That one month without being beside you and without seeing you felt like a lifetime.” **Seungwoo hugged me tighter. **“Please come back to me.”**

I sighed and hugged him back. It was so easy to give in to what he wanted. So easy to just follow half of my heart that wants to go back to him. But the other half was still aching and told me that it’s not yet the time. That I was still not whole enough to go back to him.

**“I’m sorry.” **I said and Seungwoo’s hand loosened around me until they dropped to his side.

A clap of thunder sounded and the rain started falling really hard.

**“Let’s go inside.”** I told him, but when I looked at his face, I suddenly wished I hadn’t because his face was filled with sadness.

**“I guess it’s still not enough for you. I’m not enough for you. I was so desperate to actually think that you still love me and that you’d want to be with me again if I beg you to come back. But I guess it’s just my wishful thinking.” **Seungwoo looked up to the sky and sighed. His eyes were red and even with the rain running down his face, I knew he was crying, just like how I was crying with him.

Seungwoo took in a shaky breath and smiled sadly at me.

**“I love you, Park Yoonhye. Don’t you ever forget that.” **He held my face in his hands. The warmth of his touch warmed and pained me at the same time. **“I love you.”**

He closed the distance between our lips and he gave me a soft kiss and I sobbed because it felt like he was saying goodbye.

**“I love you. Always.”** Seungwoo repeated the same words again once our lips parted. He gave me that sad smile once again, the one that completely broke my heart, as he turned and walked away from me.

* * *

It’s been months since the last time I saw Seungwoo at that party. He hasn’t contacted me ever since and, just yesterday, I heard from Tae Unnie that he has moved out from the apartment beside our place.

**“Do you think I made a mistake?”** I asked Hwasa as we drank our coffees at the rooftop of the hospital.

**“About allowing the patient’s relative to sign that _DNR_ form for their son? Quite frankly, no. I could see that there was no longer any point in trying to prolong that patient’s suffering because the prognosis didn’t really seem that good in the first place.”**

I chuckled because I was talking about something else. **“It’s not that. Even I know that the patient didn’t have any chance after trying so many times. The only thing we could’ve done was to let him live his remaining days with ease.”**

Then it dawned on Hwasa what I was talking about.

**“Oh.”** Hwasa pursed her lips. **“_That_ one I think you really messed up. Did you see how perfect he is? Smart, rich, handsome and has good body proportions?”**

**“Body proportions?”** I scoffed.

**“Yeah. _Good _body proportions. Tall, long-legs and broad shoulders. Girl, you really let go of one great catch.”**

**“I did, right?”** I sighed.

**“But I think it’s totally not for nothing. You two were practically inseparable. You went to the same elementary school, high school and were even classmates in med school. It’s not bad to grow together, but it’s not really bad to grow on your own. As individuals. See how you’ve found your calling in the general surgery department? How you have amazing surgeon skills?”**

She was right, of course. Not about the amazing surgeon skills part because I am still learning and I still have a lot to learn, but about growing on our own. My time apart from Seungwoo has made me learn so many things about myself that I never knew. I learned to be independent and to be able to move out of my comfort zone. I’ve also found a sense of self-confidence that was built on my own strength and not because of the people who showered me with love.

All of these weren’t so bad, but I missed sharing so many things. I missed sharing my achievements with Seungwoo because he would give me so much attention and would see him smile so proudly even at the littlest things that I have achieved.

My phone buzzed when I received a message.

**“Is it a message from your department?”**

> **From: Auntie Han**
> 
> Yoonhye-ya. This is Seungwoo’s Umma. Are you busy this weekend? I have something to give you.

**“No. It’s a message from Seungwoo’s Mom.”**

* * *

**“I’m glad you could make it.”** Mrs. Han kissed my cheek as she greeted me when I arrived at the café, she asked me to meet at.

**“Anything for you, _Imonim._” **I told her with a smile.

It was a busy Saturday weekend afternoon, and I was a bit late because I had to finish assisting in a surgery this morning.

**“I wish I’d get to hear you call me _Eomeoni_ again.”** She looked a bit sad. **“Couldn’t you call me that again, even if you and Seungwoo aren’t together anymore? You’re practically my 3rd daughter anyway.”**

I smiled and bit my lip. **“I think it would be awkward for me to call you _Eomeoni_ again this soon.”**

**“It’s awkward for you, but I still prefer _Eomeoni_ instead of _Imonim. _You feel like a simple acquaintance when you call me that.”**

**“I’m so sorry about that. Maybe in time, I’ll be able to call you that again and won’t feel awkward.” **I tried to reassure her, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do that anytime soon.

Mrs. Han sighed and gave me a sad smile. **“I don’t know where things went wrong with the two of you. You were so perfect for one another ever since you were kids. But know this. Even if you and Seungwoo don’t end up together, I still consider you as my daughter.”**

**“Thank you.”**

We drank our coffees and continued on catching up with one another. She asked me how my internship had been going and I could feel she was trying her best not to bring up Seungwoo in the conversation. The hours passed by without us noticing.

**“_Omo_, is it really that late?”** She said as she looked at the time on her wristwatch. **“I missed chatting with you and I never noticed the time.”**

**“You’re right, _Imonim._ I missed talking with you. Come visit our place with _Samchon_ next time you come.”**

**“If I visit your mom, we won’t be able to stop talking the whole day. I’m gonna have to schedule a whole weekend stay here with my husband if I don’t want our talks to be cut short.”**

Of course, the two best friends can’t stop talking whenever they’re talking and catching up, just like how Seungwoo and I had been before.

I accompanied her to the car waiting for her outside.

**“Well, I better get going before Han Gidong (****한기동) starts reporting me missing to the cops. You know that man.”** She said with a smile as she entered the car.

**“Please be careful on your way home. Also, please tell _Samchon_ I said ‘Hi’.”** I closed the car door behind her and turned to the driver. **“_Ahjussi_, please drive safely.”**

**“_Ne._”**

**“Wait! I almost forgot.”** She handed me a sealed paper bag through the opened window.

**“What is this for, _Imo_?”** I asked her as I stared at the paper bag in my hand.

**“Just a little gift for entertaining this old lady. I hope to see you soon, Yoonhye.”** And with that I waved at her car that slowly disappeared as it turned around a corner.

I lifter the paper bag and inspected it.

_I wonder what could be inside?_

* * *

It’s been a week since I have returned home because I was always asked to go overtime. I had my clothes sent from home instead of going home every day because it was a really tiring 2 hours drive, almost 3 hours with heavy traffic. It’s my first official day off after a really trying and tiring week.

I flopped down on my bed as I got to my room. My parents are at work and will probably be back later in the afternoon. I looked at my bedside table and I saw the paper bag Seungwoo’s mom gave me last week.

_Right._

It had been a week since the last time I met Seungwoo’s mom. I still haven’t opened the paper bag she gave me because when I got home that day, I was a wreck from having assisted two surgeries that morning and hanging out with her until late that night. I woke up the next day and had to go to work early because there had been a pileup at an intersection and they needed full hands on deck at the general surgery department.

I got up and carried the paper bag to my bed. There was no note attached to it and I had to remove the staple wires that sealed it.

_Why was this sealed so securely? Is there anything expensive in this?_

I shook my head at the silly thought.

When I finally opened the paper bag, I saw a book that looks like an album. I took the album out and put the paper bag aside. The cover was blue and the words on the cover said “Our Story”. There was a sticky note attached to it.

> _**Behind** every picture hides the true **story**. You just have to be willing to look._

I flipped open the first page and I saw a picture of me and Seungwoo. I smiled as I recalled when this picture was taken. It was the first day we met. It was a children’s birthday party for the son of a friend of our parents. My eyes were red in the picture because I just stopped crying because my balloon flew to the air and you could see 5-year old Seungwoo handing me another one.

I flipped to another page and it was another photo of Seungwoo and me. It was during our first day in school. It was taken by the school gates and we had our arms on each other’s shoulder.

Page per page, all I could see were photos of me and Seungwoo through the years until we got older. I was smiling all throughout as I recalled how each of these photos reminded me of those moments. Moments like how I tripped on my shoelaces 2nd grade and Seungwoo tied my shoelaces for me since ten. How I hurt my knee during family day in 3rd grade. How I felt jealous when so many girls during 4th grade gave Seungwoo chocolates on and how he gave me one on White Day but I couldn’t eat it back then. How he teased me the first time he carried me for our very first graduation photo and I almost cried. How we weren’t classmates during the first year of middle school and how lonely I felt back then. How he joined the school’s soccer team and introduced me to his teammates. How, in the last year of middle school, we became classmates again and I introduced him to Hyeri.

Truth be told, I was shocked back then when Hyeri suddenly avoided me after Seungwoo declined her chocolate during that last year in middle school. I had to admit, I already had a crush on Seungwoo back then, but I didn’t tell Seungwoo to decline the chocolates during Valentine’s Day like how I did in 4th grade. I guess I was just the collateral damage of her unrequited love with my best friend.

The next photos started becoming weird. One was a stolen photo of me in class in the 1st year of high school. The other one a picture of an annoyed Seungwoo. Next one is a photo of a box of chocolates. The next one is a sleeping picture of me next to his hospital bed when he injured himself during that soccer match. A picture of me in the cafeteria, visibly annoyed at him for going back to school early after his injury. More pictures of my back. Then came our high school graduation photo and a picture of our school uniform button. Another stolen photo of me in med school along with so many more stolen photos of me in med school.

Finally, our graduation photo where it all started. I took the photo from the album, to take a closer look, and my tears suddenly started flowing. I took all of the photos from the album and looked at each and every one of them. Our first date, our 100th anniversary photo, our vacation, the _dosirak_ I gave him… and then the next page I saw crumbled post its.

After reading the last of the crumpled post its, I hurriedly grabbed my phone and dialed Seungwoo’s number. His phone can’t be reached.

_Shit! Am I too late?_

I tried again, but still can’t be reached.

I then called his mom.

_**“Imonim…”**_ I started, choked up with all the emotions I have inside of me. I can’t believe I wasted six months! Six months to finally realize that Seungwoo has loved me way back… even before I had feelings for him.

**“Excuse me, but… Who’s this?”**

_**“Imonim.”**_ I whined because I know she knows it was me.

**“I won’t tell you where Seungwoo is until you call me _Eomeoni_.”**

I took a deep shaky breath. **“_Eomeoni. _Where’s Seungwoo?”**

**“Took you long enough. He’s going to the airport. You better hurry if you want to catch up to him.”** The line ended, and without any second thoughts, I grabbed my bag and ran out of my room.

**“Yoonhye! Where are you going?”** Tae Unnie called out to me as I ran out of the door.

**“To follow my heart!”** And I got into my car and drove to the airport.

_To be continued…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… What do you think happened?  
I’m back after that heartbreaking day. I almost gave up writing once again because of what happened to our 11 precious boys who deserved so much more in life and their careers. But I fought. I got up and I’m back. Don’t forget to support the projects for the reboot of our boys! Let’s do this together!


	19. Hate That I Love You - 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Behind every picture hides the true story. You just have to be willing to look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm back! I'm gonna finish this fast for the coming week. Be prepared. Only 6 more chapters left.

**Hate That I Love You - 19**

**by:**

**SuJuX1's Trash**

> **2000.04.16 **– I met my mom’s best friend’s daughter. She cried because her balloon escaped so I gave her mine.
> 
> **2001.0****8.xx** – It’s our first day in elementary school and we’re going to attend the same school ^^
> 
> **2002.xx.xx** – Yoonhye tripped on her shoelaces so I tied them. She still doesn’t know how to tie her shoelaces. I volunteered to always do it for her.
> 
> **2003.xx.xx** – We had our family day at school but Yoonhye hurt her knee. She’s always clumsy. I guess I have to always make sure she doesn’t get hurt in the future =.=
> 
> **2005.02.14** – She’s mad at me, I don’t know why. She said not to eat the chocolates I received because I might get a toothache so I gave them away to my other friends. I did leave this one because she gave it to me ^ㅂ^
> 
> **2005.03.14** – I gave her chocolates for White Day. I even asked my mom to help me make it, but Yoonhye has tonsillitis right now so she couldn’t eat it. I hope my best friend gets better soon. I don’t like her being sick ㅠㅠ
> 
> **2006.02.xx** – Our graduation photo. I told her she was heavy and she believed me. I almost made her cry because I teased her. I promise from this day on that I will protect her smile no matter what and I won’t make her cry again
> 
> **2006.xx.xx** – First day of middle school and we aren’t classmates =.= I’ll make sure to be in the top rank in my class so that we’ll be classmates next year. Why did she have to be so smart? Now she’ll be all alone at the back of her class. I just know she’ll isolate herself.
> 
> **2006.xx.xx** – I just joined the school soccer team and I brought Yoonhye with me to the try outs so that she could meet my new friends and that I would have someone to cheer for me. She was like this *0* when I scored a goal earlier. Cute ㅋㅋㅋ
> 
> **2007.xx.xx** – I was annoyed earlier at Yoonhye and my teammate Park Jinyoung because they looked so close during practice. I don’t like him being so close with her. I shouldn’t have brought her to soccer practice.
> 
> **2008.xx.xx** – We’re classmates again! Who would’ve thought that she actually made a close friend while I was in the next classroom for the past two years? ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
> 
> **2009.02.14** – Lee Hyeri came up to me and confessed to me. I had to decline her confession. I told her the one in this picture is already in my heart.
> 
> **2009.03.14** – I gave you chocolates but you declined them coz Hyeri got mad at you for what I did. You didn’t know back then why she suddenly stopped talking to you. I’m sorry for causing a rift between you and your new-found friend. I’ll make sure to never let you get hurt again because of me.
> 
> **2009.xx.xx** – You started acting weird since the beginning of the semester. You wouldn’t even talk to me. See how your back was turned from me? I had to tease you just so you’d notice me when you get annoyed.
> 
> **2010.02.14** – I didn’t get any chocolate from you today and what?! You gave Park Bogeum _sunbaenim_ some chocolates?! This was me being annoyed that time because for the first time since elementary school, this was the first Valentine’s day I didn’t get anything from you =_=
> 
> **2010.03.14** – I made this chocolate from scratch and I was supposed to give it to you, but _THAT SUNBAENIM_ gave you some chocolates. So, I just threw the ones I made away
> 
> **2010.12.xx **– I injured myself during a soccer match. You cried so bad when they took me inside the ambulance and wouldn’t let go. You looked so cute when you said “I’ll go with him. Please I have to know he’s okay.”
> 
> **2011.01.xx **– You got mad at me for going back to school early. But I was just worried that you’d be your usual loner self and would skip lunch than eat at the cafeteria alone. I’m also not comfortable with the thought that _THAT SUNBAENIM_ could sit with you during lunch.
> 
> **2011.xx.xx –** it’s the last year of high school and luckily, we were classmates! What’s wrong with you these days? You always snob me, so my pictures of you are always pictures of your back =_=
> 
> **2012.xx.xx **– It’s our commemorative graduation photo. You looked so pretty, but of course you don’t see it for yourself. So many girls went to ask for my second button like we’re in Japan, but I told them I already gave mine to someone else. Truth is, I hid my second button near the tree in the Thinking Spot ;)
> 
> **2012.xx.xx **– First day of med school and luckily, we’re classmates. You look cute when you’re focusing on something.
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– It’s our graduation day and you look so beautiful today. But it bothered me how short your dress was. And then you had to wear that outfit to the party. And then things happened. We kissed! Despite being drunk I remembered everything. I wanted to punch myself because I got so jealous and kissed you to make a point. But I don’t regret it.
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– Our first date at the amusement park. I love you! :*
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– Our 100th day anniversary photo. I’ll make sure to love you for 100 more lifetimes. I love you! <3
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– Our photo captured by Seungyoun during that vacation. You look so beautiful. Breathtaking. I’m one lucky bastard to be able to call you mine. I love you! :*
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– You brought me lunch that day. This was the day before you broke up with me. What happened?
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– It’s been a week and you haven’t responded to my messages. Your dad won’t even accept the flowers I wanted to give to you so I’m just taking a picture of it so that I can memorialize them here.
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– I added some details to the flower tattoo on my arm. I put your initials on it. Can you see it? I’m still waiting for you and my love for you will be eternally tattooed on my heart.
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– I saw you today during Baekhyun Hyung’s birthday party. Kai invited me and I was so shocked to see you during that night. I wasn’t prepared to meet you that’s why I just wore this random white shirt and torn faded jeans. Had I known I’ll be meeting you there that night, I would’ve dressed myself better. Tch
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– You didn’t want to be with me anymore. After being apart for one month, you still won’t take me back.
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– It’s been two months. I miss you. Come back to me. Please…
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– Three months… Will there still be a chance for you and me?
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– 4 months without you feels like hell. Ahhhh. I should stop this.
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– 5 months. I was offered that amazing internship overseas. Should I take it?
> 
> **2019.xx.xx **– It’s been 6 months. I guess it’s time to let go.
> 
> **2020.xx.xx **– It’s the new year and I guess it’s time to move forward. I hope to see you again. P.S. I still love you

I recalled every word he wrote behind the photos in that album. I was really stupid to think that Seungwoo would like me just because we were familiar with each other. That he fell for me just because we were always together. I was such a fool! And now I’m in a rush to reach the airport to catch his flight.

He was offered an internship overseas and it will last a long time. Being apart from him for 6 months had been torture. Yes, we learned to grow as individuals. But now I know we’d grow even more when we’re there to support one another.

**“Han Seungwoo. Please pick up the phone.”** I said as I tried to dial his phone again.

** _“The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please try again later.”_ **

**“Han Seungwoo!”** I cursed. Why was this man going to the States and have his phone turned off?! Seungwoo’s mom said his flight will be at 11 PM tonight! It’s only 9:30 PM. He can’t have boarded already!

I hurriedly parked my car and entered the airport.

_Shit! _

There are so many people here. Where will I start?

_Think, Yoonhye. Think!_

I looked up at the board that shows the schedules of each flight.

_You’ve got to be kidding me!_

There were three flights bound for the US currently boarding.

I took my phone out and called his mom.

**“Eomeoni. What’s his flight number?”** I asked in a hurry. I can’t let him board that plane.

**“You’re in such a rush. Where are you?”**

**“I’m at the airport and am currently reading the board for departures.”** My hands were starting to get cold. Why was she not panicking? Where was she?!

**“Omo. I forgot to tell you that his flight schedule was delayed. We’re still on our way to the airport, Yoonhye. Seungwoo said he’ll meet us there.”**

I almost sat there on the floor when I heard that. To think I panicked because I thought he’d already boarded. Turns out his flight was delayed?!

**“Eomeoni.”** I whined again and took a deep breath to calm myself down.

**“I’m sorry, Yoonhye. I just wanted to see how you’d react. You did make my boy cry for months.”** Then Seungwoo’s mom chuckled from the other side of the line. **“Try calling him again. His phone’s battery died earlier that’s why you couldn’t contact him. See you later!”**

I slapped my forehead as she ended the call. I wanted to stomp my feet like a kid because Seungwoo’s mom played with me.

I dialed Seungwoo’s number again… _It’s ringing!_

It took a while before he answered the phone.

**“Han Seungwoo. Where are you?”** I demanded.

The other line was silent.

**“Yah! Han Seungwoo! It’s me, Yoonhye. Please talk to me.”**

I could hear his sigh, but he still wasn’t talking.

**“Han Seungwoooooo.”** I finally whined and pouted. **“Why won’t you talk to me?”**

**“That’s the same question I’ve been asking myself for 6 months.”** I could hear the hurt lacing his words. **“Why wouldn’t you talk to me? What happened to those blissful first 6 months into our relationship? Why did we suddenly end breaking up? Why my explanations about that diary weren’t enough? Those questions kept on haunting me for 6 months, Park Yoonhye. I don’t think you have any right to actually demand an answer from me. Because God knows how many questions I had in my mind, and I got no decent answer because you wouldn’t talk to me.”**

**“I’m sorry.”** My tears started falling. He was right. I hurt him. I didn’t give him a chance to explain his side better. I was selfish! I was stupid!

_Shit! Am I too late?_

I couldn’t help suppress the sob that suddenly came out of my mouth.

I clearly heard Seungwoo curse from the other line.

**“Where are you?”** He asked, but I couldn’t answer because I was crying.

People were starting to look my way, but I didn’t pay them any attention.

**“I’m so-sorry if I hurt you. I’m sorry if my lack of self-confidence caused this between us. I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to actually try and find myself with you in the process. Because I was scared that you’d get tired of me and would realize in the end that I’m not worth it. I’m sorry if my defense mechanism was to pull away despite knowing that there’s a chance that I can win this time, because I have your support by my side. I’m really, really sorry, Seungwoo. I k-know it’s too much to ask fr-from you, but will you give me another chance? Another chance to prove to you how much I love you and how much braver I am now to take risks with you? And I love you, Han Seungwoo. I really do. I never stopped loving you despite those months we were apart. You were the only one who has been in my heart. You always have and you always will.”**

There was no response from the other line. What if Seungwoo was tired of all my shit? What will I do?

**“Wooya…”** I couldn’t remember how long it’s been since I called him that. But I always called him that when I did something wrong and I want to apologize.

**“It’s been so long since you’ve called me that.”** Seungwoo sighed. **“Can you please sit down somewhere and calm yourself down?”**

**“How can I calm down when I’m on the verge of losing you?!”** I almost shouted at him.

**“Well I need you to calm down or I might run red lights to rush to the airport just to calm you down myself.” **He sounded annoyed.

I was speechless with what he just said that my tears stopped falling.

_What?_

Seungwoo sighed again.

**“Please sit down before you collapse to the floor. I’m on my way. I’m almost at the airport.” **He said calmly.

**“I’ll wait for you outside.”** I wiped my tears. **“I’ll meet you outside.”**

**“Park Yoonhye, stop being so pigheaded and listen to me just once. It’s cold outside. You might catch a cold if you wait for me outside.”**

**“If I get sick, you’ll just have to take care of me since you’re a doctor.”**

**“Well, this doctor is still an intern who’s bound to go to the States.**

**“You’re still going.”** I said. It wasn’t a question. I could feel the tears starting to form again.

**“I have to. I already signed papers for my internship there.”**

**“Okay.”**

**“Okay?”**

I took a deep breath and sighed. **“No matter how long your internship will take there, I’ll wait for you. This time, I’ll be the one waiting for you to return.”**

**“What if they want to take me in permanently in that hospital? I’m an amazing surgeon you know.”**

I chuckled at that. **“Then, I’ll still wait. Maybe I can go there as well after finishing up here.”**

**“What if in the times we’re apart, someone tries to make a move on me? There _are_ many pretty girls over there.”**

I started walking towards the exit.

**“Then I’ll immediately fly there and drag you by the ears, you big flirt.”**

**“Have you seen how many girls pined for me in the hospital?”**

**“I did. But truth be told, I don’t care.”**

I could hear Seungwoo’s chuckle from the other line.

**“You’re really confident, huh?”**

**“I’m trying to be. I’m just getting some confidence from what you wrote in that album of yours.”**

**“Mom really gave you that, huh?” **But he didn’t sound surprised. **“What if I don’t take you back? Because I might think you’re doing this because of pity?”**

Is he actually trying to turn the tables on me?

**“Ya! You think I’d follow you here just because I feel pity for you?” **I frowned.

**“I don’t kno- Are you outside? I can hear cars passing by.”**

**“I am. And it’s cold. So, where the hell are you?”**

**“YA! PARK YOONHYE!”** I pulled my phone away from my ears.

**“Yah! No need to shout.”**

**“How can I not when I specifically told you to just sit down and wait for me?!”**

**“Well, I am sitting down… outside.”** I snickered. Luckily, I was wearing warm clothes so I’m not that cold. Can’t say the same for my nose though.

**“Inside the airport. Not out in the cold.”** Seungwoo sounded frustrated.

**“I’ll wait for you. Don’t drive too fast. The roads are slippery.”**

**“What will I do with you?”**

**“Tie me to your waist and never let me go?”** I suggested.

**“I’d rather spank you right now and lock you in a dungeon.”**

**“Don’t forget to lock yourself in that dungeon with me so that I won’t be lonely. You did say you’ll always protect my smile.” **I giggled.

Seungwoo snorted. **“Don’t you dare act cute with me by using my words against me.”**

I smiled as I scanned the area for any signs of Seungwoo’s car. Still nowhere in sight.

_Huh? Why does that car look familiar?_

**“But you already think I’m cute even when I cheered for your goal in that soccer try outs before.”**

**“Yah!”** But Seungwoo chuckled.

**“Where are you?”**

**“Parking lot. Stay where you are. I’ll come for you. I’ll find you, just like always.”**

**“I know you’ll always find me. I’ll be waiting… impatiently.”**

**“I know.” **I could hear the closing of his car door.

**“I love you.”** I told him.

**“I know.”** Seungwoo said, and I waited with bated breath. **“As I love you.”**

I released the breath I was holding. And just as I felt my heart soar upon hearing those words again, I felt my breath get caught in my throat again when I saw him. He looked so good while wearing that gray sweater and black slacks.

_It’s only fair that he looks this good, he’s Han Seungwoo after all. And I’m lucky that I’ve found him as he’s found me._

Seungwoo looked left and right until his eyes landed on me. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me. But my smile faltered when I saw a hooded person behind him. The man pulled something from his coat.

_IT’S A KNIFE!_

I ran across the street as I see a wide-eyed Seungwoo staggering to his knees, clutching his side, before pitching forward to the ground. The man ran off after stabbing him!

_NO!_

**“SEUNGWOO-YA!”** I cried as I ran to him and gathered him in my arms.

Blood was seeping through his sweater and his hand.

**“Seungwoo-ya. Are you okay? Oh God!”**

Of course, he’s not okay! He just got stabbed. What the hell was I saying?

**“Hey. Hey. I’ll be fine.”** Seungwoo said as his free hand held mine. I was shaking so bad. My tears won’t stop falling.

**“How can you be fine?! You got stabbed! You’re bleeding!”** I shouted at him. I know I’m becoming irrational, but I can’t help but panic.

**“Calm down.”** He cooed softly, but I shook my head.

**“I can’t!”** I told him truthfully. He’s bleeding and he’s sweating in this cold weather because of the pain. Seungwoo tried to hide his pain behind a soft smile, but his eyes were clouded with pain.

**“Shhhh.”** He held my face and made me look him in the eyes. **“What’s the first thing you have to do when you encounter a stab wound patient outside?”**

**“Are you seriously asking me something like that right now?!”**

**“Answer me.”** He said calmly. How can he be this calm? Shit!

**“Survey the area if the assailant is no longer in the vicinity.”** I was sure the hooded guy had run off. My scream must’ve alerted the people around me and they’ve started coming towards us.

**“I think you scared him with your scream.”** Seungwoo had the gall to chuckle, but winced when his wound hurt.

**“Ya! Don’t laugh.”** I told him worriedly. His blood was still seeping through his hands.

**“Next?”**

**“Call for emergency help.”** I took out my phone and handed it to someone in the crowd gathered around us. **“Please call 119. Tell them to bring an ambulance and that there’s a stab wound patient here. Hurry!”**

I removed my coat, folded it and placed it on the ground.

**“Lay down here.”** I told Seungwo. He could get dizzy anytime and I don’t want any unnecessary movements just cause I’m cradling him. I still have to tend to his wound.

**“You’ll get cold.”** I rolled my eyes at him. Even with him injured and bleeding like this, he still thinks about me.

_He truly loves me._

**“You have a stab wound and you’re still thinking about me.”**

**_“Here. Lay this on the ground so that he won’t get cold.”_** The one whom I handed my phone to earlier laid a padded coat on the ground.

I thanked the guy before helping Seungwoo to lie down and placed his head on my folded coat. I removed my scarf and used it to apply pressure on the wound. I made him bend his knees.

**“Don’t you dare close your eyes.”** I warned him. **“The ambulance will get here soon.”**

**“Stop crying.”** Seungwoo wiped another tear that escaped my eye. He stared up at me, his eyes so dim that it was like all the life had leeched right out of them. **“I told you I’ll never make you cry again. Why do I always break this promise?”**

**“Then don’t you dare close your eyes. I’ll stop crying if you keep them open.”**

He smiled at me, but a spasm of pain crossed his face and he gave a soft sigh as he closed his eyes.

**“Don’t you die, Han Seungwoo! Do you hear me? Don’t you dare die on me! Oh God.”** I said brokenly. I wanted so bad to cradle his face, but I can’t remove my hands that are putting pressure on his wound.

**“I love you.”** I said as a fresh set of tears started falling. **“Please open your eyes.”**

As if he heard me, his eyelids fluttered and opened, but it was evident it cost him dearly.

He smiled faintly. **“I’m glad to hear those words from you again. I was scared I will never get to hear them again.”**

**“Then stay with me and you’ll hear them every day for the rest of our lives. Until you get tired of hearing the words.”** My tone was rife with grief and desperation. I was crying so bad as I looked at him getting paler by the minute.

_Where is that damned ambulance?!_

**“God knows I don’t deserve you after what I’ve done to you. But I still want to be with you. I want to grow old with you. I won’t live a single day without you. Those months apart from you were pure torture to me as well. Please. Please stay with me.”**

**“You know I was supposed to play hard to get when you suddenly wanted to get back with me?”** Seungwoo said weakly. **“But the moment I heard you cry on the phone, I wanted to teleport to where you were. I threw away my resolution out the window because I love you too much.”**

**“Thank you. Thank you for loving me. I won’t make you regret loving me, ever again.”**

Seungwoo placed a hand on my cheek. **“Then promise me you won’t ever try to leave me again.”**

**“I promise. I promise you I won’t leave your side again. Even if you push me away, I won’t go anywhere.”**

**“That’s a relief.” **Seungwoo sighed as his eyes started closing. **“That’s a re…”**

His hand fell from my cheek as his head lolled to the side.

**“Han Seungwoo!”**

* * *

Everything happened so fast after the ambulance arrived. They took Seungwoo to the nearest hospital and I watched helplessly as they wheeled in Seungwoo to the trauma room.

I was watching everything that they’re doing inside the trauma room as they tended to his wound. The moment I heard that dreadful sound of the flatline, I cried even harder.

**“Don’t die. Han Seungwoo, don’t die.”** I can’t live without him. Seungwoo’s become my lifeline now. I don’t know what I’ll do if he dies.

They started pumping his heart, trying to get his heart beating again.

_Please don’t die. I need you._

I prayed so hard as I stared when they used a defibrillator on him again and again. Alternating between shocking him, pumping his heart and injecting epinephrine into his body.

I collapsed to the floor as I placed my bloody hands on the glass that’s separating me and Seungwoo.

_You’re stronger than this. Don’t leave me._

And I think my heart skipped a beat when I heard a different noise from the heart monitor.

**“His pulse is back. Let’s get him ready for the Operating Room.”**

* * *

I called Seungwoo’s parents the moment they took him to the operating room. Right now, we’re waiting outside as we prayed in silence for his operation to go smoothly. The doctor said that the stab wound was so deep that an artery was injured.

**“I’m so sorry.” **I’ve told Seungwoo’s mom countless times.

**“None of this is your fault, Yoonhye.”** Seungwoo’s mom held my shaking hands. **“I think you should wash your hands first. I expect it will take a while before they finish.”**

**“How can you be so calm?”** I asked her, the moment he was taken from the trauma room to the operating room, I couldn’t stop shaking because I heard his heart stopped.

**“Because I know my Woo is stronger than this. He’ll pull through. Let’s have faith in him and his stubborn will.”**

I nodded and swallowed the knot in my throat as new tears started pooling in my eyes again.

**“Go. I don’t think they’ll allow you to see him after the operation if you’re covered in blood.”**

I followed her instructions and went to the closest comfort room I could find. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and I look like a mess. I had blood stains in my face, my eyes were puffy and I looked like I was on the verge of crying again. I took a deep breath as I washed my hands. My hands that were covered with Seungwoo’s blood.

_He’ll be fine. He’ll be fine. He’s a stubborn person. He’ll not leave me after promising me that he won’t make me cry again._

I washed my face as well and fixed myself. I have to look presentable the moment he sees me. Seungwoo won’t be happy to see me looking like this. After one last look at myself in the mirror, I got out of the comfort room.

**“Sunbaenim?”** I asked Dr. Leo Jung when I passed by him.

**“Oh. Yoonhye. Hey there.”**

_What is he doing here?_

**“What are you doing here, Sunbae?”** I asked him.

**“Oh. I just happened to have a slight accident at home so I drove here to have my hand stitched.” **He said then showed me his hand.

**“Okay.”** I said as I nodded. **“You should be careful, Sunbaenim.”**

**“What about you? Why are you here?”**

At the question, I almost started crying again, but I held my tears at bay.

**“Seungwoo got into an accident.” **I said simply. But it wasn’t that simple because he’s still in the operating room fighting for his life.

**“Really?” **But he looked unbothered by the news.** “Did it hurt?”**

_What?_

**“What do you–”** But I was cut off because Seungwoo’s Mom was suddenly there.

**“Yoonhye, they’re done with the operation. They said we can see him for a few minutes in the recovery room.”**

Finally!

**“I’ll get going now, _Sunbaenim.”_** I bowed and followed Seungwoo’s Mom.

* * *

It’s been two days, and he still hasn’t woken up. I’ve had myself excused from work because I didn’t want to leave his side. The doctor said the operation was successful, but he still lost a lot of blood. I’ve been praying to God that he’ll wake up and start annoying me again. For him to be back to his goofy self. I swear to God I won’t get mad even if he annoys the crap out of me.

I’ve also talked to the police about what happened. They said they’ll update us when there’s any lead about the attacker. For now, they’ve stationed a police officer just in case the attacker tries to attack again.

I don’t know how many times I’ve cried because I almost lost him two days ago. And he’s still in a coma, and it’s eating me. I know his vital signs are okay, but… If he was awake, he would’ve told me to stop the negative thoughts from clouding my mind.

I sighed as I held his hand in mine. Seungwoo was already pale-skinned, but he’s even paler than usual. I touched his cheek, trying to infuse some color. It was pale and cool. I looked upon his face and he looked at peace. No lines carved across his forehead and he laid so still that it’s scaring me.

**“Please wake up. I’m scared, Wooya. I know you don’t want me to feel scared, so, please come back to me.”**

I bowed my head and tried to stop the onslaught of sobs that were starting to wrack my body once again. It was then that I felt a sudden movement from his hand. I looked up at his face once again, and to my complete surprise, his eyelids suddenly fluttered.

**“Seungwoo-ya…”** I said breathlessly, as I witnessed his eyes open, and he looked around as if trying to figure out where he was.

**“Yoonhye-ya…”** He said weakly.

Tears filled my eyes ‘til I could no longer even see his face. The relief was so overwhelming that I couldn’t stop myself from hugging him.

**“Oof!”** Seungwoo grunted when I accidentally hugged him too close to his wound.

I immediately let him go. **“Sorry. Sorry.”**

My hands were shaking because I can’t believe that after more than 48 hours, he’s finally awake.

**“Hey.”** He said as held my hand. **“I’m okay now. Try to breathe slowly.”**

I tried so hard to actually try calming myself down by taking deep breaths. I closed my eyes as weak tears slid down my cheeks.

**“You’re awake. You’re okay now. You won’t leave me.”** I told him, but it sounded more like I was telling myself that Seungwoo’s out of the woods now.

**“No. I won’t. I’m here to stay forever, Baby.”**

_To be continued…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've reached the end. Thanks for reading again! And for being patient with me. :*


	20. Hate That I Love You - 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're back together! Please beware of this chapter. 🔞

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're gonna go fast cause we only have a few more chapters to go. Thank you for being with me until now! ^_^

**Hate That I Love You – 20**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’s Trash**

**“Yoonhye-ya~”** I groaned as I heard Seungwoo calling me from where he was seated, in the living room.

I was currently cooking lunch in the kitchen when he called out to me. I turned off the stove and walked grudgingly to the living room.

**“Yes, your majesty? What can I do for you?”** I asked him with a very fake sweet smile.

It’s been three days since he was discharged from the hospital and he went back to the apartment beside the one I shared with Tae and Yoona Unnie. Seungwoo insisted that I stay there with him to take care of him, well, it’s not like I’ll leave him alone to fend for himself while was still recovering from his wound. But this guy told our parents that there’s no need to fuss about him coz I can handle taking care of him myself, which is true. Then my two flatmates practically kicked me out of our unit, put ALL of my things in Seungwoo’s place, and told me that my room has already been given to someone else, Seohyun Unnie, a co-model of Yoona Unnie. I just know this was Seungwoo’s doing, but I can’t scold him because he’s still recovering.

Now, he’s been calling me non-stop for random things. Like getting the remote, which was like two steps away from him, getting some water from the fridge, getting a book, getting a pen, getting random stuff that he could’ve done himself, but he was out to annoy me. I think he heard my wish when he was unconscious, that I won’t get mad no matter how much he annoys be, but I guess I wasn’t fully prepared and I’m almost at my limit to actually giving him an earful because he’s so annoying the crap out of me.

**“There’s no need to call me that. ‘Baby’ will be more than fine.”** Seungwoo smiled and I just rolled my eyes at him.

**“What do you need? I’m cooking lunch you know.”** I told him and he suddenly offered his hand.

**“Hold my hand.”** I sighed and held his hand. To my surprise, he suddenly pulled my hand and I landed on his lap.

He groaned, but he still hugged me tight.

**“Yah! You’re wound isn’t fully healed yet.”** I told him as I swatted his shoulder. I adjusted my position on his lap so that I won’t be touching his wound.

**“I miss you.” **And he nuzzled my neck.

**“Aigoo. My baby wants some attention.”** I cooed at him as I run my fingers through his hair.

**“Your attention.”** Seungwoo said, not budging from his position.

I pulled away from him. **“But I’m cooking lunch and I’ve already cut up the ingredients. I even peeled the shrimp.”**

Seungwoo pouted then smiled at me. **“Then, can you peel me as well?”**

**“Yah!”** I hit his arm. **“Byuntae.”**

**“I meant, peel me away from you.”** He said innocently, but his facial expression says otherwise. I narrowed my eyes at him and pinched his nose. **“Ow. Ow. You shouldn’t harm a patient you know.”**

**“Well, since the patient is being a pain in the ass, once patience can be really tested.”** Finally, he let go of my waist and allowed me to get up from his lap. **“If you miss me so much, then come sit down in the kitchen. You can watch me while I cook.”**

I pulled him up, carefully, and we went hand in hand to the kitchen.

I was busy cooking once again when he suddenly laughed. When I turned to him, he was just smiling at me.

**“Please, continue.” **Seungwoo said and I just shrugged my shoulders.

_Does getting stabbed by a knife make a person weird?_

Scratch that. He was weird before. Now, he’s become weirder.

I continued cutting up the vegetables I was going to use, but I heard him giggle again.

I took a deep breath before turning back to him again.

**“What?” **I asked him, but he gave me the same sheepish smile.

**“Nothing.”**

But Han Seungwoo laughing, doesn’t mean ‘nothing’.

I pretended to focus my attention on the food preparation again, but I was just bluffing while cutting the onions. I immediately turned around and I saw Seungwoo holding his camera, taking a picture of me.

I narrowed my eyes at him but he beamed at me, and I was immediately disarmed of my mild irritation.

**“That’s not fair.”** I told him and walked towards him by the kitchen counter.

He smirked at me. Han Seungwoo had the gall to smirk at me!

**“What’s not fair is that even your back looks beautiful while cooking.”**

_Alas! He’s done it again._

**“You’re very flowery with words, aren’t you?” **I quipped, but I know I’m no match for him.

**“But I only use these flowery words for the only flower-turned-human in my life.”** Seungwoo leaned over the kitchen counter and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. **“And that’s you.” **

I know I’m blushing.

_Damn you, Han Seungwoo!_

**“I hate you.”** I pouted at him.

He smiled at me. **“ No you don’t. Everybody knows that.”**

Seungwoo stood up from where he was seated and walked over to me.

**“You love me.”** He wound his arms around my waist as I put mine on his arms.

**“I do.” **I told him with a smile. **“I love you, Han Seungwoo. My Wooya.”**

His arms pulled me closer, and I leaned in, sighing as his lips touched mine.

**“I love you, Park Yoonhye.” **Seungwoo whispered against my lips as his mouth grew more urgent, and I opened to him, reveling in the warmth of his kiss. The kiss spoke to me on so many levels, called to my soul.

His hands were holding me tighter, tighter, and my own snaked around him, finally resting where his hair met his collar. I wasn’t an expert since Seungwoo was the only one I had been intimate with, but my hands seemed to know where to go, how to find him, how to bring him closer.

My back arched, and the heat between us grew exponentially as the kiss went on and on. I felt it in my belly, in my toes. This kiss seemed to be everywhere, all across our skin, straight down to our souls.

My neck arched as he nipped at my earlobe, and I moaned soft, incoherent sounds. I wanted to sink into him. I wanted to slide to the kitchen floor and take him with me. I wanted to feel his weight on mine, feel his heat against my skin, I wanted to touch him— I wanted to do something. During my intimate encounters with Seungwoo before we broke up, I was always timid and followed his lead since he was the more experienced one. But this time, I wanted to act. I wanted to be daring.

I moved my hands to his hair, sinking my fingers into the silky strands. He let out a little groan, and just the sound of his voice was enough to make my heart beat faster. He was doing remarkable things to my neck—his lips, his tongue, his teeth—I didn’t know which, but one of them was setting me on fire.

Seungwoo’s lips moved down the column of my throat, raining fire along my skin. And his hands—they had moved. They were cupping me, pressing me against him, and everything felt so urgent. It was like he was catching on the months we were apart. It was no longer about what I wanted. It was about what we both needed.

He expertly turned off the stove and he carried me to sit on top of the kitchen counter. My legs immediately opened for Seungwoo and he stepped in between them before giving me an open-mouthed kiss. My hands tangled in his hair as his hands pulled me closer to him.

**“What you do to me is like sorcery.” **Seungwoo said in between our kisses. **“I missed you so much. You don’t know how I longed to feel you in my arms again.”**

I sighed as his lips traveled down to my collarbone and nipped it.

**“I missed you too, so much.” **I felt like I was drunk without even drinking alcohol because of his intoxicating kisses and warm caress.

Seungwoo removed his shirt, revealing his tattoos. When I looked down, I saw the part of his stomach that still has a gauze over it… his stab wound. My hand immediately went to the bandaged area and sighed.

**“Does it still hurt?”** I asked him, still looking at the bandage. Remembering that night got me biting my lower lip, trying to stop it from trembling.

That night was both a dream and a nightmare that happened one after another. We were reunited that night after months of separation. But, not long after, Seungwoo got stabbed and I almost lost him again.

He held my chin and lifted my face. Seungwoo kissed the space between my eyebrows before smiling reassuringly at me.

**“Don’t think about it.”** He kissed both my eyes. **“Stop looking at it.” **

He kissed my nose. **“Don’t worry about yourself with this.”**

**“Because I’m still here.” **Seungwoo kissed my cheeks before cupping them. **“And I’ll never leave you alone.”**

**“Ever…”** And his mouth touched mine once again. **“Again.”**

He caught the trail of a wet tear with his thumb as he kissed me. My heart swelled at his words.

_He won’t leave me. Ever._

Seungwoo’s mouth devoured mine, his hands move from my cheek and tangled into my hair, drawing me closer into the kiss. I could feel the fire building between us as our kiss deepened and his hands travelled to inside my shirt. I put my arms up as he tugged the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head.

My lips travelled to his shoulder tattoo. I slowly trailed it with my tongue and lips. I heard Seungwoo groan as he unhooked my bra. I moved on to his “Don’t rock me up” tattoo and gave it the same attention I did with his shoulder tattoo.

**“Fuck.”** Seungwoo cursed as his head tilted from the pleasure.

I removed my bra from my arms and Seungwoo threw it somewhere. My body goes lax in his arms as my breasts flattened against his chest. The skin to skin contact was exquisite. His tongue rubs along mine as I meet his kisses thrust for thrust.

The intensity of the kiss sends a jab of heat throughout my body. I couldn’t stop myself from rocking my hips against him, seeking friction against his warmth. Not breaking contact with our lips, Seungwoo carried me and I wrapped my arms and legs around him. I only realized where we were when my back landed on the soft bed.

Seungwoo’s hands and lips worshipped my body as he removed my shorts. I was having a hard time catching my breath because of what he was doing to my body and my sanity. He settled himself between my legs and started kissing me again, this time his hands were fondling my now very tender breasts.

**“Ahh.”** I couldn’t control my gasp when Seungwoo kissed one of my breasts before enveloping the erected bud into his mouth and sucked on it. My hands went to his hair and I tugged on it, I don’t know whether to make him stop or pull him closer to me. Seungwoo must’ve thought the latter because he moved to my other breast and circled his tongue on my other bud and put it inside his mouth.

**“Shit.”** I moaned as his ministrations on my body continued.

Seungwoo lifted his head and grinned at me.

**“You’re cursing, Park Yoonhye.”** He levelled his face to mine and touched his forehead to mine.

**“Why? Does it turn you off?”** I asked him, suddenly uncertain if he dislikes girls who cuss. He once told me off when we were kids when I cussed at someone one time, and he said girls shouldn’t curse like that.

**“On the contrary…”** He held my hand and brought it to the bulge in his jeans. **“It turns me on even more.”**

I didn’t know what to do. With shaking hands, I rubbed him through his jeans. I heard a low rumble come from Seungwoo’s throat when I experimentally squeezed him.

**“Ahh. Fuck.”** He cursed again and pulled my hand from his length and placed it around his shoulders before his tongue caressed mine again in another hypnotic rhythm. My entire body responds as my hips rocked against him once again and my hands pushed into his hair.

Seungwoo’s hands travelled from my face, down to my shoulders, breast, hips and legs. He was drawing circles with his fingers and I gasped when his hand started travelling towards my center. My breath trembled as I waited for him to touch me there when the doorbell suddenly rang.

We both stopped and listened through our gasps as to who it was.

The doorbell rang once again, two consecutive times this time, before hearing someone shout from the outside.

**“Appa! We’ve come to visit you!”** I could swear that was Dongpyo, and upon realizing what he just said, it was like Seungwoo and I were doused in ice cold water and we stood up.

**“Shit!”** We both said as we scrambled to our feet.

**“Where’s my shirt? And my bra?” **I whispered to him in a hurry. I don’t want them to think we’re doing something because we’re taking too long, even though we were actually doing something. But still! They’re kids!

**“Here.”** He handed me my shirt and bra, but my hands were shaking so bad from my still aroused body and from rushing to answer the door, I couldn’t fix the clasp properly.

**“Let me do it.”** Seungwoo was suddenly behind me and was clasping my bra in place. **“I never thought I’d be dressing you up instead of undressing you.”**

I looked back to him and he had this grumpy look on his face. I put on my shirt before I tiptoed and kissed him on the lips.

**“I think you should get in the shower.”** I told him, but Seungwoo looked confused. I bit my lower lip before looking down at him. **“I don’t want the kids to see you having a boner. Go. I’ll answer the door, you go take a cold shower.”**

* * *

**“Umma, how has it been taking care of Appa?”** Hyeongjun asked as he munched on some popcorn beside me.

**“Bet Hyung’s giving Yoonhye a _hard_ time.” **Seungyoun said meaningfully, and I glared at him. Seungwoo, who was seated beside him, elbowed Seungyoun.

**“I’m not giving my baby a _hard_ time.” **Seungwoo said then narrowed his eyes at Seungyoun. **“And I thought I told you to call her ‘noona’.”**

**“But she already gave her consent. Isn’t that right?”** Hangyul interjected and I just smiled at them.

**“It’s fine by me.”**

**“Yoonhye-ya~.”** Dohyon suddenly said cutely, and I was taken aback. He was almost 10 years younger than me.

Everyone laughed at how he smiled cheekily after calling me that, including myself. Even Seungwoo couldn’t reprimand him.

**“I think I can allow until the 99z trio to call me that. You babies, have to call me ‘noona’ or ‘umma’, okay?”** I smiled sweetly at them.

Hangyul, Yohan and Subin high-fived one another because of what I just said.

**“But you still have to get my permission to call her that. And I say, no.” ** Seungwoo said firmly, but me along with the the other hyungs just laughed at how childish he was. **“Park Yoonhye. You should be on my side.”**

**“I am. But only with the little ones.”** I smiled sweetly at him.

Seungwoo pouted at me and then focused his attention back on the drama we were watching. It was Crash Landing on You’s 2nd to the last episode. It’s a miracle to actually fit 17 guys plus me in his apartment, but surprisingly, everyone found a place to lounge at. What’s even more shocking is that they’re actually watching it with me.

**“Oh no. He’s leaving.” **Dongpyo commented. The North Korean men of Captain Ri Jeong Hyeok are about to cross the line that separates North and South Korea.

**“Can she get there in time?”** Hyeongjun asked back. Everyone is at the edge of their seats.

_Wait. This scene sounds awfully familiar._

I absentmindedly looked at Seungwoo, and I think he had the same thoughts.

And as Son Yejin’s character, Yoon Seri, runs towards the line and cries her heart out towards Hyunbin’s character, it finally hit me! Seungwoo smiled knowingly at me. I just know he’s going to tease me later about this. This looked so similar to our situation back at the airport weeks ago.

_I wanna get swallowed by the floor right now. Help!_

Some of the guys, were actually teary-eyed after watching the heart-breaking scene between the two main leads and were laughing and teasing each other while cleaning up after themselves.

**“Hey. Get up. We still have to eat dinner.” **Seungwoo said as he held out a hand to me.

I wiped the last of my tears and took hold of his hand to stand up. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. **“I’ll prepare the food.”**

**“Let’s just eat at One Able. It’s already late and I don’t want you to clean up after 17 guys.” **Seungwoo wiped my cheek, probably a tear track was left behind. **“My baby is such a crybaby.”**

I wasn’t going to take offense for him teasing me, but he had to coo at the same he does it.

**“I hate you.”** I frowned at him.

**“You love me.”** Then he gave me a chaste kiss before telling everyone that we’ll be eating out.

Seungsik smiled knowingly at me and played with his eyebrows. **“I think you’d prefer it if we leave you two alone right now.”**

**“Because the weeks they’ve been together isn’t enough time yet.”** Chan commented.

**“They probably still have lots of _things_ to do.”** Seungyoun seconded.

**“_Things_ that need some _alone_ time.” **Sejun said as he nodded towards Seungyoun.

**“More like _Woo_ time.” **Wooseok said but he added a little _hoo~_ sound after saying ‘Woo’.

**“If you guys knew that, then why did you have to visit today out of all the da-OUCH!” **I elbowed Seungwoo and glared at him.

**“He’s kidding. Don’t mind these Hyungs of yours.” **I smiled at the maknae-line before glaring at the hyungline. **“Stop polluting their minds!”**

**“Theirs is already polluted…”** Hangyul said then looked at Dohyon. **“Except for Dohyon. Though he has a crush.”**

**“Ah. Hyunggggg!”** Dohyon whined.

I patted his shoulder. **“Don’t worry. I’ll introduce you and Wonyoung properly next time.”** I could’ve sworn Dohyon blushed before pouting at me.

**“Noona. Not you too.”**

**\--**

_At One Able…_

**“Please enjoy the food.”** Sungwoon said as he placed the last of the dishes we ordered.

**“Ne. Thank you.”** I told him and started eating.

With seventeen people eating together, they had to re-arrange the tables so that we’d be seated together.

**“Here’s to Seungwoo Hyung’s fast recovery and for him and Yoonhye getting back together! Cheers!”** Seungsik said as he raised his glass and we clinked our glasses filled with soju bombs. Of course, Seungwoo’s, Chan’s, and Seungyoun’s along with the maknae-line’s glasses are just filled with either juice or water.

**“Cheers!”** We all said and Seungwoo put his arm around my shoulder to pulled me to him.

We ate and chattered away. Who would’ve thought that these guys from different departments would come to know one another because of Seungwoo? Seungwoo was like the center of these guys who would’ve otherwise not known one another despite attending the same school. He was the invisible string and I’m glad to see this bond between them.

I was definitely feeling tipsy, because I can already feel my cheeks heating up from the drinks, by the time we were saying our goodbyes.

**“Be careful while driving you guys. Make sure to send them off in one piece.” **Seungwoo said as he took account of everyone in the cars. He even counted them just to make sure no one’s missing.

I smiled, thinking he was really like a dad to these guys.

**“This is the happiest I’ve seen you in months, Yoonhye. Love really does wonders to someone.”** I looked back and saw Minhyun. He was holding my wallet.

**“Always the forgetful me.”** I smiled sheepishly at him and he smiled back at me. **“Thanks.”**

**“Can’t always have you forgetting your wallet. I might not be there to return it to you.” **

I frowned at him. **“Are you going somewhere?”**

Minhyun nodded. **“I’m getting transferred to the branch in Piladese. It was a good thing you guys came here. This is my last day at work. At least I get to say goodbye to my ****favorite customer.”**

**“What about the other guys?”** I asked him. I'm kinda sad that the guys at One Able will be going one by one.

**“Some are staying, some are getting transferred to other branches. They wanted to put some female crew to add a bit of female touch, and to do that, some of us have to be transferred.”** He said with a sigh.

I smiled sadly at what he just said. **“Then I guess those branches will become hits just like this one.”**

Minhyun smiled and nodded.

**“Appa. Please bring Umma home in one piece.”** Dongpyo said as he waved at Seungwoo.

**“What do you mean in one piece? Maybe he’ll strip her piece by pie-hmmmp!”** Seungsik covered Subin’s mouth.

I just know I’m blushing and I could hear Minhyun chuckling beside me.

**“Probably direct to the bed-OW! Yah!”** Hangyul burst out as Wooseok hit the back of his head.

**“Shut up, stupid.”** Wooseok said and looked at Dohyon. **“You’re forgetting you have your little cousin with us.”**

**“Dohyon will be fine. He needs to know these things so that he’ll be ready when-SHIT!”** Seungyoun elbowed Yohan and he started ushering the kids inside the van he’s driving.

**"They remind me of how the guys here are One Able are."** Minhyun said as he was smiling at Seungwoo and his friends. He was right. They do have similarities. The bonding, the brotherhood and the teasing.

**“Just go. Go. Shoo! Go home.”** Seungwoo said as he motioned everyone to enter their cars.

**“You did well in choosing him.”** Minhyun commented as he looked at them. **“I can see he’s a really responsible guy. I’m glad you have him.”**

**\--**

**“What were you two talking about earlier?”** Seungwoo inquired as we walked hand in hand towards his apartment.

**“Are you still jealous of Minhyun?”** I asked him and looked up at his face.

He shook his head. **“Seeing you two earlier didn’t make me jealous because I know how much you love me. What I’m starting to feel jealous about now is how you’re calling him just ‘Minhyun’. You two sound too familiar with one another.”**

**“But that’s just because we got closer and we said that we’d drop the formalities between the two of us.”** Then I giggled.

_Why did I giggle?_

**“You’re drunk.”** Seungwoo said as I leaned on him now because the room suddenly started spinning.

**"I know." **I giggled once again.

He had a hard time opening the door because I was leaning on him and I was kissing the side of his neck to tease him. I even nibbled his ear and stuck out my tongue.

**“This is what you did that night. Do you remember?”** I whispered to his ear.

When Seungwoo was finally able to open the door, he turned to me and kissed me on the lips.

**“I told you, I remember everything that happened that night. Do you want a replay?” **He challenged.

**“How about a foreplay?”** I asked him teasingly before pulling him inside his apartment.

**“You are a tease and a very drunk woman at that.”** He ushered me to the bathroom and helped me strip out of my clothes.

**“So, we’re doing it here?”** I said as I tugged at his turtleneck but he held my hand in place to keep it from pulling at his clothes.

**“No. I told you. I’m only going to do it with you once we’re married.”** Seungwoo reached towards the bathtub faucet and filled it with water. **“I’m now thankful that the guys came earlier or I would’ve broken my promise with your dad.”**

**“Married sch-married. Some couples do it even though they’re not married.”** I pouted at him.

He stripped me off of the last garments in my body and helped me sit in the bathtub.

**“How come you’re not reacting to my body?”** I asked him with teary eyes.

_Was my body not up to his standards? Was he disappointed? Were my breasts not that big for him?_

**“Believe me, I’m trying to hold myself from reacting the way my hormones are telling me to react to your delectable body right now.” **Seungwoo said gruffly and I could see how he’s trying to keep his eyes on mine and not travel downwards. I think I said my thoughts out loud.

I held his face in my hands. He was squatting beside the bathtub, making sure I don’t drown myself as I try to wash away the effects of the alcohol.

**“I love you.”** I told him as I kissed him on the lips.

**“As I love you.”** And in between our kisses, he asked me something.

* * *

I woke up to a warm bed, warm body and Seungwoo’s scent.

**“Good morning, baby.”** I was enveloped in his arms and he kissed my forehead as he said that.

**“Good morning to you too, baby.” **I snuggled closer into his chest. He was only wearing a black beater shirt and his tattoos are showing everywhere.

I lifted my right hand to trace his tattoos when I saw something.

I looked up at him, confused. Seungwoo on the other hand was looking expectant and nervous at the same time.

**“You don’t remember everything from last night, do you?”** He asked me, but he was smiling.

I shook my head and he just sighed.

**“This is why I put it here and not your ring finger.”** He removed the ring from my finger and then became serious. **“Since you were too drunk to remember, I’ll ask again while you’re sober.”**

Seungwoo got up and leaned his back on the headboard. He pulled me up and made me sit on his lap.

**“I won’t make the speech so long, so the gist is…” **He took a deep breath and raised his hand holding the ring in front of me. **“Will you be with me forever? Will you marry me, Park Yoonhye?”**

Without any hesitation, I answered him. I guess this is why I didn’t hesitate to answer his question from last night.

**“Yes.”** I said, beaming at him. **“Yes, I’ll marry you and be with you forever.”**

He placed the ring on my ring finger and he pulled me in for a kiss, which I answered without any hesitation.

**“I love you.”**

**“I love you.”**

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best. HAHAHA Sorry about that scene. Kkkkk. Thank you for reading!


	21. Hate That I Love You - 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's scary when it's too quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've edited the previous part and uploaded Chapter 20. If you haven't read it, please read it first.
> 
> 21st Chapter. I hope you enjoy. We're almost at the end. Please stay with me until we finish this story. ^^

**Hate That I Love You – 21**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’s Trash**

**“Hey! I heard you’re back!”** Hwasa hugged me when she found me at the doctors’ lounge.

**“Hey, I missed you.”** I told her as I hugged her back.

**“How are things with you and Seungwoo?”** I only smiled at her question and raised my hand to show her my ring. **“OH MY GOD!”**

**“Shhh. Calm down. You don’t have to shout.”** But I giggled as I told her to quiet down.

**“How can I calm down?! You’re engaged! You didn’t even tell me Seungwoo proposed to you!”** Hwasa was holding my hand and was jumping up and down.

**“Don’t cause a scene.”** I whispered to her, but I was still smiling. I couldn’t help it. Ever since I said ‘yes’ to Seungwoo, we were practically inseparable.

I didn’t want to go back to work now, but he insisted that I go back. He also went back to work, but he was left to doing paper works since he can’t overwork himself yet in the operating room.

**“You’re getting married?”** One of our co-interns looked our way and I just gave her a small smile as I nodded.

**“OMG! With the hot doctor who just dropped you off earlier?” **asked another one.

I smiled at her.

_Han Seungwoo’s charm strikes again. _I thought wryly.

**“Lucky you, Dr. Park.”** Said another one.

**“I know.”** And I smiled, more to myself. _I am really lucky to have Han Seungwoo in my love._

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Hwasa swatted me on the shoulder.

**“Girl, you’re so in love. You suddenly zoned off and then smiled like a love-sick person.”**

**“Because I am.”** I pouted at her. I really am love-sick. **“Damn the Han Seungwoo effect.”**

**“Yeah. Really damn. But you have to tell me the details about how he proposed.”**

I looked around and saw the other interns focused on the two of us. I wanted to tell Hwasa, because I am so excited to share the details, but only to her.

**“I’ll tell you later. Let’s eat lunch outside?”**

Hwasa understood what I meant to say and nodded. **“Heard that, eavesdroppers? The story is for my ears only, so you can now go on your merry way.”**

The other interns showed dismay because they weren’t able to fish anything more from my relationship. Everyone was so curious since I was single then Dr. Jung showed interest in me, which I declined, and the suddenly I come back in a relationship again and engaged at that.

**“See you at lunch then?”** Hwasa linked her arms with mine as we both exited the doctors’ lounge.

**“See you.”**

* * *

**“Can you give me the chart of the patient who had appendectomy yesterday?”** I told the male nurse I was with at the nurse’s station.

Jungkook, the male nurse, handed me the chart and then went back to plotting the patient’s vital signs in the chart.

**“Has he passed gas yet?”** I asked as I checked the chart.

**“Yes, _seongsaengnim._” **I looked at him and he seemed like he wanted to ask me something.

**“What is it?”** I asked him, and he didn’t waste time or dally to ask me whether the rumor that I was engaged was true or not.

I showed him my hand where the small princess cut ring was placed.

**“So, it _is_ true?”** Nurse Jungkook asked, he looked really surprised at me confirming it.

I nodded. **“I never denied it since everyone asked me since this morning, so where is this reaction of yours coming from?”**

**“Uhhhh…”** He looked hesitant to speak again.

**“Nurse Jungkook…”** I looked at him with narrowed eyes and he scratched the back of his, probably not comfortable saying what he wants to.

**“What is it?”** I probed once more. **“Spill.”**

Nurse Jungkook looked around to see whether there were other people around and upon seeing that there was no one there, he then said, **“It’s Dr. Leo Jung. He said it’s not true.”**

I frowned. _What?_

**“And what makes you think you can believe Dr. Jung more than me?”**

**“Because you had a thing with him months ago before you suddenly went on emergency vacation. And he seemed like he was telling the truth with so much conviction when I asked him about it.”**

I sighed. The news about me and Dr. Jung having some kind of romantic relationship has really gotten out of hand.

**“First of all, Dr. Jung and I didn’t have a thing. Second, I had to go on emergency vacation because my boyfriend and fiancé had an accident. Third, what were his exact words when you asked him about it?”**

Nurse Jungkook pouted as he tried to recall his conversation with the senior doctor from the Paediatric Department.

**“He said, ‘It can’t be true. Haven’t you seen me and Dr. Park the past few months? Her ex-boyfriend just got into an accident and she’s taking care of him out of pity. People run their mouths loosely just because they saw Dr. Park get out of that man’s car. She’s just being polite and wasn’t able to decline the offer to drop her off to work.’”**

I frowned at this. What’s going on with Dr. Jung? Where was this narrative coming from?

**“I don’t know why he said those things, but none of it is true. Dr. Jung and I are not and were never in a relationship. I am engaged to my boyfriend, Dr. Han Seungwoo, and I’m in love with him.”** I clarified. I don’t know why I had to clarify this to Nurse Jungkook, but I kind of felt irritated that Dr. Jung would say such things.

**“Seeing your reaction right now, Dr. Park, I believe you.”** He smiled at me before bowing. **“I’m sorry if I asked you something that wasn’t work-related.”**

My irritation immediately subsided when he apologized. It wasn’t even his fault. I smiled reassuringly at him. **“It’s okay. There’s nothing to be apologetic about. You we’re just curious, that’s all.”**

**“But sometimes, curiosity kills a cat.”**

* * *

It was lunch time and luckily, we didn’t have that much patients under our supervision, so we went to a restaurant near the hospital. Once we got there, we ordered our food and Hwasa immediately questioned me about what happened.

While I was on vacation, I kept on giving her updates about me and Seungwoo. Seungwoo proposing to me was the only information I withheld from her because I wanted to see her reaction first-hand.

I told her how Seungwoo proposed to me the night before, and then repeated the question the next morning in bed. I was barely able to control her reaction when she heard the word ‘bed’ and ‘proposal’ in one sentence.

**“You naughty girl.”** She wiggled her eyebrows at me and gave me a malicious smile.

**“It’s not like that.”** I told her and she smiled even more widely. **“Stop picking up the words you just want to hear.”**

And we both laughed at that as our food arrived.

I also told her about Seungwoo getting hurt because of a still unknown assailant.

**“So, that crazy guy is still on the loose? With no clues whatsoever?”**

I shook my head, and frowned as I realized that the search for the guy who stabbed Seungwoo still had no leads until now.

**“That guy is either really slick for evading the police until now or it’s just a really random assault and Seungwoo happened to have been at the receiving end of it.”** Hwasa said and I sighed.

_I’m still scared for Seungwoo’s safety despite some people saying it could’ve just been random._

**“I just hope he’ll get caught soon, random or not.”**

Hwasa nodded, understanding my worry. **“Well, you should be careful as well. If it wasn’t a random attack, that crazy bastard could end up attacking again. You should have a bodyguard.”**

**“That’s what our parents said.”** I scoffed, but now that I’m talking about what happened to someone, I’m starting to regret being stubborn about not getting that bodyguard our parents wanted each of us to have. **“Let’s just stick to it being random.”**

Because I don’t want to think about how someone could actually want to intentionally hurt Seungwoo. He’s a real angel with the people around him so I can’t understand why would someone actually hurt him if that’s the case.

* * *

I stretched my arms as I finished the last of the endorsements to the doctor assigned for the next shift.

**“_Sugohaesseo_, Dr. Park.”** Dr. Kim told me and I bid him farewell as I exited the station.

My phone rang and I immediately smiled when I saw the caller ID.

> ** _“Hey. Are you done?”_ **
> 
> **“Yup. Just gonna clock out. Where are you?”**
> 
> ** _“I’m on my way. Just stay in the lobby, it’s really cold outside. I’ll come find you.”_ **
> 
> **“Just like always.”**
> 
> ** _“See you in a few. I love you!”_ **
> 
> **“I love you. Be careful while driving. The roads are slippery.”**
> 
> ** _“I will. See you. Miss you already.”_ **
> 
> **“I miss you too. Can’t wait to see you.”**

I went to the biometrics machine to clock out, but Dr. Jung was there. He looked like he was waiting for someone.

He looked up and immediately, his facial expression changed.

_I guess that 'someone' is me._

I took a deep breath. I shouldn’t even be bothered to have this conversation with him because I never lead him to believe we had a chance at a romantic relationship. But he had been really nice to teach me so many things while I was in the Pediatric Department that I can’t help but think this is for the best. That I end things once and for all. At least a consideration for how he was so nice to me.

_It’s time to stop this._

I walked forward and timed-out first before looking at him.

**“Dr. Jung.”** I said and he pushed himself from the wall he had been leaning on earlier.

**“We need to talk.”** He said and I nodded.

Dr. Jung started walking and I followed him. He was headed towards the underground parking lot for the doctors. As we walked, I noticed something off about him, but I shrugged it off. He held the door open for me and I entered first before he entered.

He stopped and looked around to see whether there were people around, but there was none. It was better, since I don’t want him to feel humiliated when I tell him to stop this nonsense.

Aside from Nurse Jungkook, other doctors like Dr. Kim Seokjin, Dr. Kim Namjoon and Dr. Min Yoongi along with Nurses Hoseok and Taehyung asked me to confirm about my real relationship with Seungwoo and clarify with them about what Dr. Jung told them. Even the personnel from the Medical Administratio, Mr. Jimin, asked me about it.

**“You have to stop this, Dr. Jung.”** I started and something flashed in his eyes which made me frown.

_Was he angry?_

**“You know, Yoonhye, when I first saw you when they introduced the new interns, I felt fascinated by your presence.”** He looked at me in the eyes, and I tried hard to neutralize my reaction. I still couldn’t get over the fact that I saw anger in his eyes earlier.

**“You were so simple, scratch that. You think you’re so simple and unnoticeable, but you’re quite the opposite.”** He sighed as if trying to control his emotions. **“Your smile brightens your surroundings. Every time you smile at me, I feel like all of my problems are being cleansed by it. All of the darkness in my life has been beaten. You think so little of your actions, that you didn’t think about how others would interpret it.”**

There it was again. The flash of anger, but this time, it remained there as he stared at me.

**“I thought you were really an innocent woman. A pure one. Someone who’d think about the sanctity of giving yourself to your husband. But you threw it out the window during that two weeks of vacation. I didn’t know you were that easy.”**

At this, I started to feel unease as he continued looking at me with anger in his eyes. The longer he stared, the longer I realize that it wasn’t just anger. It was starting to look like hatred.

**“When you two separated, I was so happy. I thought I had a chance. I thought, ‘I’d get past the thought of you not being pure anymore’. You were so nice to me. Despite other people thinking of me as a scary and weird person. But you were the first one to say that I’m just quiet and shy that’s why I give off that impression to other people. You were the first one who thought of me as a human being, and not a monster.”**

**“_Sunbaenim…”_** I was confused. Yes, people at the hospital was sort of awkward with him because he was the quiet type, but never has she heard other people say he’s scary like a monster. And was he saying I lead him on?

**“Had you not acted all nice to me, you wouldn’t have gotten my attention. I wouldn’t have noticed you. Maybe then, I wouldn’t be in this position right now!”**

I was startled when he started shouting.

_‘You got my brother’s attention, that’s what you did. If anything happens, it’s all your fault.’_

Was this what Krystal was talking about?

My heart started racing, I suddenly felt scared. The man in front of me, he seemed off earlier. But now, he’s like a whole different person.

Dr. Jung smiled at me, and it wasn’t a friendly one. It was one that sent chills down your spine.

**“Do you have any idea what I’ve done for you?”**

_No._

But the answer was evident in his smirk.

**“When Dr. Park Jiyeon slapped you and I saw you looking like that, I knew I had to get revenge for you. How dare she hurt you? My woman! She dared to lay a finger on my woman!”**

**“Oh God.”** I said as I realized it. **“Don’t tell me that her accident by the stairs…”**

I wasn’t able to finish. I was hoping against hope that it wasn’t the case.

**“Ding dong deng. It wasn’t an accident.”** His smile grew more sinister. **“I pushed her down the stairs. I didn’t know she’d be so gullible. I only told her I wanted to talk to her about our relationship and hinted that I wanted to take it to the next level. She was so eager to talk to me, that when I positioned to her fall and make it look like an accident, she never saw it coming.”**

I gasped as my hands flew to my mouth. I couldn’t believe my ears. He just told me that he pushed Jiyeon and made it look like an accident. All because she slapped me and got into a fight with me.

My phone suddenly rang and I didn’t know whether to pick it up, considering the situation I was in. I no longer felt safe. I don’t feel safe. Especially upon realizing that there was no one else in this parking lot aside from one black car.

_Sunbaenim’s car._

**“Pick it up. Your boyfriend–it’s fiancé now isn’t it?”** He corrected himself and smiled mockingly at me. **“He might get worried. Answer it.”**

I tried to hide the fact that my hands were shaking as I pulled my phone from my coat pocket.

> ** _“Park Yoonhye, where are you?”_ **

I could hear the urgency in Seungwoo’s voice.

> ** _“They finally found a lead about my stabber.”_ **
> 
> ** _“Ahuh.”_ **
> 
> ** _“They’ve also found a suspicious plate number of a car parked there.”_ **
> 
> ** _“38_ ** ** _육_ ** ** _4104_ ** ** _”_ **
> 
> ** _“How did you know? Park Yoonhye, where are you?”_ **

**“And do you know what else I did?”** I looked from the car to Dr. Jung when he spoke.

> ** _“Park Yoonhye. Who is that?”_ **

**“That night, I was waiting for you at your place.”**

I gasped. This can’t be real.

**“I wanted to try my luck again, since I heard that bastard was finally leaving for the States. But I suddenly saw you running from your place and got into your car in a hurry. I followed you all the way to the airport.”**

> ** _“Park Yoonhye. What is going on?!”_ **

I could hear the panic in Seungwoo’s voice.

**“Sunbaenim, you can’t be meaning to say…”**

**“Yes.”** He smiled at me. The sinister smile was back. **“I was the one who stabbed that bastard. I saw the two of you trying to meet one another, and I couldn’t allow that.”**

**“And that injury in your hand?”** All along, the guy who stabbed Seungwoo was Dr. Jung?!

**“I set it up. So that I could freely enter that hospital near the airport. I wanted to see for myself that he’d die. I did push that knife deeply, so that I’d definitely injure and artery.”**

> ** _“Park Yoonhye. I’m coming. I’m almost there.”_ **

But I don’t think he’ll make it in time.

**“But that bastard must be in league with the devil. He survived and it made the two of you grow closer and even more in love with one another.”** Dr. Jung scoffed and his eyes became dazed.

> ** _“Park Yoonhye. Run!”_ **

Without another thought, I started running… fast! As fast as I could. When I reached the door of the parking lot, the door was locked! I started running again as I saw Dr. Jung coming my way again. He was holding a gun.

> ** _“Baby, where are you? Talk to me!”_ **
> 
> ** _“I’m in the underground parking lot–”_ **

I stopped running because I dropped the phone. I was about to go back for it, but Dr. Jung was already there. He picked up the phone and smiled as he spoke to Seungwoo.

**“Wait… I’ll put you on loud speaker.”**

> ** _“You fucking bastard. If you touch a single hair on Yoonhye, I will kill you! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!”_ **

**“Hunt me down all you want. But, don’t worry. I won’t just touch a single hair on her. I’ll make sure to touch _all_ of her. With my hands, lips and tongue. Every. Single. Part. Of. Her. Delectable. Body.”**

He emphasized word per word, and I felt a chill of pure terror run down my body.

> ** _“FUCK YOU! PARK YOONHYE RUN!”_ **

At Seungwoo’s words, I turned to run again when I felt a sting on my back.

**“AH!”** I staggered as I reached for my back and pulled out… a tranquilizer dart.

> ** _“PARK YOONHYE!”_ **

I tried to run some more, but I suddenly felt really lethargic. My legs won’t cooperate. I was starting to feel dizzy and when I was about to fall, Dr. Jung was suddenly there and he was carrying me.

> ** _“PARK YOONHYE! I SWEAR TO GOD. I WILL SAVE YOU! I WILL FIND YOU. I WILL FIND YOU NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE!”_ **

_Yes, Seungwoo. Please find me. Just like always._

And I was consumed by complete darkness as I begged and prayed. Prayed for Seungwoo to be able to find me.

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 more chapters. See you next time! Thank you! ^^


	22. Hate That I Love You - 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything is as it seems. You can never be too sure with what's on the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are. I've gone to a dark place to write this chapter, so I hope you enjoy. I didn't censor any curse words. Sorry. Lot's of curse words ahead.

**Hate That I Love You – 22**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’s Trash**

**Seungwoo’s POV**

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

I was panting as I entered the underground parking lot.

_Park Yoonhye, where are you?_

I closed my eyes as I clenched my fists. I wanted to punch something… someone.

_I was too late. FUCK!_

**“Sir!”** I turned to the man from the security and saw him holding a cellphone. It’s Yoonhye’s.

I went to him and took the phone from him. The screen is cracked. The bastard Jung must’ve stepped on it when he took off with Yoonhye. My hands were shaking as I was gripped with fear. Fear that harm might come to the woman I love. My best friend. My Yoonhye.

I tried to calm myself down, for fear that I might strangle even the innocent security man in front of me.

**“Call the police. This is a kidnapping. We have to intercept that car he used to escape with Yoonhye.” **I ordered the security man but I became impatient as I saw him fumbling with his phone while trying to dial 119. **“I’ll do it.”**

I took out my own phone and dialled a number.

> **“Hyung, it’s me.”** I put Yoonhye’s phone inside my pocket and I started walking outside.
> 
> **“Oh, Seungwoo. What is it?”** Donghae Hyung’s voice came from the other line.
> 
> **“Yoonhye’s been kidnapped and I need your help.”** I said in a rush. **“They’ve been gone for 10 minutes now. We need access to security cameras and satellites.”**
> 
> **“What do you mean ‘we’?”** Donghae Hyung asked again. **“And who kidnapped her?”**
> 
> **“A man named Dr. Leo Jung or Jung Taekwoon kidnapped her. He’s also the one who stabbed me.”** My jaws clenched as I spoke of the bastard’s name.** “I have a team of security detail from my cousin’s company. They can help me find the direction where the car is headed.”**
> 
> **“I understand. But the satellites are out of my pay grade.”** I was dismayed at what he said. I need satellite access so that I can track Yoonhye. **“But I’ll call a Hyung of mine, he’s from the NIS. I’m sure he can give us the access to the satellite. Give me the plate number of the car so that we can help find them in the CCTV cameras.”**
> 
> **“He’s one sneaky bastard. He knows how to dodge areas with CCTV cameras.”** I told him as I told him the plate number I saw. They had a hard time finding a connection between him and the airport incident because we couldn’t concretely place him at the airport based on the CCTV cameras. Luckily, a dashcam caught him.
> 
> **“Okay. I’ll give you an update if anything happens.”** I ended the call and took a deep shaky breath. My blood has run cold from fear.

_Hang in there, Baby. I’ll find you. I always do._

The promise to find Yoonhye was what pushed me to start contacting the people I know.

* * *

** _Yooonhye’s POV…_ **

** **

**“I see you’re awake.”** I felt lethargic as I tried to open my eyes. I shook my head to try and get out of the foggy state my head was in.

_Where am I?_

My neck hurts.

_How long was I out?_

**“You’ve been out for a few hours now, Darling. You’re somewhere safe.”** Dr. Leo was sitting across me. I was tied to a chair, probably why my neck feels so stiff. My head must’ve been lolling to the side.

**“How can I be somewhere safe when you’ve practically kidnapped me!”** I glared at him.

**“Be careful with your words, my dear. I didn’t kidnap you.”** He stood up and walked towards me. **“I’m saving you from yourself.”**

**“What?!”** I asked incredulously. **“Save me from myself?”**

**“Yes. I’m saving you from making the biggest mistake in your life, marrying that bastard.” **Then he smiled at me and lifted my chin to face him. **“I just don’t want you to regret getting married to him then realizing I’m the one for you.”**

I pulled my face away from his touch.

**“Are you insane?! The man I love is Han Seungwoo. He always has been and always will be the one I love.”** I looked him straight in the eyes. **“And he loves me. Nothing can change that fact.”**

My ears suddenly rang after he slapped without holding back. With my still disoriented state from the tranquilizer, the slap made it worse cause it made me dizzy again.

**“You might want to change that perspective of yours once I’m done with you.”**

Thought the taste of fear was vile on my tongue, I steeled myself and still looked at him straight in the eyes. I was unwilling to show him just how terrified I was.

**“What do you want from me?”**

**“It’s obvious isn’t it?”** He smiled at me. This man in front of me is a complete stranger. The _sunbae_ who was gentle and quiet, the one who guided me at work, I can’t find a trace of him anywhere.

_How is that possible?_

**“I want you.”** His smile was suddenly gone and was replaced with a cold expression. **“All for myself.”**

There was something in his eyes, his face and his expression that made me realize something.

**“You’re not Dr. Leo Jung.”** I told him, sure with what I have just said.

The kindness that Dr. Leo showed me can’t have been just a fabrication. His gentleness couldn’t have just disappeared. It just can’t.

**“This is why I like you. You’re so sharp with things like this.”** He went back to the chair he sat before. This man, who isn’t Dr. Leo. **“You know what? I’ll tell you a story. Since you’re really clever.” **

* * *

** _Seungwoo’s POV…_ **

I gripped the stirring wheel as I drove as fast as I could to the place where I will find Yoonhye. Everything is so fucked up. I was driving as fast as I could in this slippery countryside road.

_Earlier…_

> _After coordinating with my cousin, Taecyeon hyung, I went to the Jung mansion. Getting access to the satellites might take a while so I’ll try it this way._
> 
> _I told the housekeeper who I was looking for and she immediately ushered me to a waiting room for guests._
> 
> _Even the waiting room screams wealth. The floor was fully carpeted, there’s a chandelier hanging at the center of the room, and antique vases decorated various corners of the said room. _
> 
> _I turned my attention to the doorway I just entered when someone cleared their throat to get my attention._
> 
> ** _“He’s not here.”_ ** _ Dr. Krystal Jung, one of Yoonhye’s co-interns at work, said as soon as she entered the room, her arms crossed. _
> 
> ** _“Then help me find him. He’s your brother.”_ ** _ I immediately went straight to the point. There’s no point in asking. **“Help me find Dr. Leo Jung.”**_
> 
> _Something crossed her eyes, and it didn’t sit well with me._
> 
> ** _“If _ ** **he’s_ the one you’re looking for, then you came to the right place.”_** _ She sighed and unfolded her arms. **“Follow me.”**_
> 
> _I followed her as she headed upstairs. We went past rooms and on a corridor on the left, a nurse got out of the room._
> 
> ** _“Is he okay?”_ ** _ She asked the nurse who got out of the room. Pure worry was written on her face._
> 
> ** _“For now, he’s stable. Let’s just hope he wakes up soon.”_ ** _ She excused herself and went somewhere._
> 
> _Dr. Krystal entered the said room and I followed her. _
> 
> ** _“What the hell is going on here?!”_ ** _ I wasn’t able to suppress the question._

* * *

** _Yoonhye’s POV…_ **

**“At least you can call me by my proper name now. I’m Theo Jung. You can call me Jung Taejin.” **And pure terror filled me as I confirmed that this man in front of me, is not the same Dr. Leo I knew.

Dr. Le-no. This man just said he’s Theo Jung. Jung Taejin. He sat more comfortably in the chair in front of me and started his story.

* * *

** _Seungwoo’s POV…_ **

> _The female doctor motioned me to enter before closing the door behind me._
> 
> ** _“Meet my brother, Dr. Leo Jung.”_ ** _ She looked uneasy before sitting on the side of the bed and arranged the covers on the person currently lying there with so many tubes connected to him._
> 
> ** _“This is nonsense. If he’s here, then who took Yoonhye?”_ ** _ I was confused. _
> 
> _It was definitely Dr. Jung who took her, I’ve heard his voice on the phone. We’ve seen him in the CCTV. I’ve seen how he shot at her with a tranquilizer gun, and ugly rage boiled inside me when he carried her to his car._
> 
> ** _“The one who took Yoonhye was my other brother, Theo Jung.” _ ** _Dr. Krystal took a deep breath before continuing with her story. **“They’re identical twins. The story was only related to me since they were much older than I am. They were born a few minutes apart, but they couldn’t be more opposite from one another. Taekwoon Oppa was the quiet and gentle type while Theo Oppa was the more social and friendly one. But as he grew up, our parents noticed something off with him. My second big brother started showing symptoms of violence at the age of 5.**_
> 
> ** _“They sent him to countless shrinks, but not of them were able to find a good reason. Until one day, one psychiatrist from the States diagnosed him with DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder. Aside from the friendly and social personality he had, another one popped up. It was the violent and destructive one. He preferred to be called Taejin while Taekwoon Oppa preferred to be called Leo. Taejin Oppa’s alter ego had Intermittent Explosive Disorder._ **
> 
> ** _“My family moved to the States in hopes of curing my brother, to help save him and others from himself. Taekwoon Oppa and I studied medicine while Taejin worked for the company. We thought that everything was going good since his destructive side was starting to come out pretty rarely. He called himself Theo as the Taejin side was starting to disappear. But when our parents died in a car accident, Taejin started resurfacing again._ **
> 
> ** _“We went back to Korea in hopes to find another doctor who can help us suppress Taejin. Things started going downhill when he saw one of the photos Leo Oppa had with Yoonhye at a company dinner. Leo Oppa was already interested in her, but he knew that she already has a boyfriend so he kept his friendly distance. I hated her guts back then because he caught my brother’s attention. I wanted my friend Jiyeon and Leo Oppa to get together because she can sometimes bring out the noisy side in him. But Yoonhye got in between of that. I hated that she made my brother fall for her but there’s nothing he can do since she’s in a relationship. I know it’s not her fault, but I still hated her for it._ **
> 
> ** _“This was what caught Taejin’s attention. It was the first time he saw his twin brother have a crush on someone. He became curious to the point that he’d go to the hospital and pretend he was Leo Oppa, just so she can observe Yoonhye. We didn’t know what he was doing. He was an expert at evading me and Leo Oppa when he comes by the hospital. He just observes Yoonhye from a distance. He even follows her home.”_ **
> 
> _Fuck! What?!_
> 
> _But I didn’t interrupt her._
> 
> ** _“One day he approached her as she was clocking out from work. It was the night before her two weeks of vacation.”_ **

* * *

** _Yoonhye’s POV…_ **

**“That was you?!”** I asked him, remembering that night when I was clocking out from work long ago.

> _(Refer to Chapter 12)_
> 
> ** _“You look crazy.” _ ** _I shook my head._
> 
> ** _“Only when I’m with you.”_ **
> 
> _There was silence that followed after he said those words._
> 
> ** _“Sunbaenim, I’ll go ahead.”_ ** _ I said towards Dr. Leo and bowed. I was about to walk past him when he held my hand._
> 
> ** _“He’s not right for you.”_ ** _ I looked at him, wide-eyed, after he said those words._
> 
> ** _“Sunbaenim, don’t be like this.”_ ** _ I told him as I pulled my hand from his grasp, but wouldn’t let go._
> 
> ** _“You know who’s right for you? Me.”_ ** _ I felt a chill ran down when he said that._

Now I understand. That’s why he seemed off that time. It wasn’t Dr. Leo Jung I was talking to during that time, it was his crazy twin brother.

**“I wanted to help my twin big brother with his love problem, he was always a wimp. I wanted to help him amp up the relationship between the two of you. But as time passed by, I couldn’t help but fall for you myself. I understood why he fell for you. I found what he saw in you and I couldn’t help it. I wanted you for myself.”**

* * *

** _Seungwoo’s POV…_ **

> ** _“That was the time I found out what he was doing.”_ ** _ Dr. Krystal closed her eyes as if she regretted having found out what happened that time._
> 
> ** _“I told him off. I told him what he was doing wasn’t right. But he brushed me off and told me that he’s just helping Leo Oppa. Not once did I believe him, so I told Leo Oppa what Theo Oppa was doing. When he confronted Theo Oppa, he told him to stop what he was doing and never to bother Yoonhye again. This made Taejin angry.”_ **

* * *

** _Yoonhye’s POV…_ **

**“I was so angry at Leo. He had the gall to tell me to stop when in the first place, I was just doing it for him!”** Theo, or should I say, Taejin stood up and paced the room.

While he was seated as he relayed the truth, he wasn’t so intimidating. But once he stood up, his height and his fuming expression appeared more threatening.

**“So, I had to do what I did.” **He smiled as if reminiscing something.

**“What did you do?”** He couldn’t have hurt his own twin brother, right?

**“I think you know the answer to that.”** Taejin sneered at me and looked proud at what he did. **“I run him over with my car. That was a week before you came back from your slutty two-week vacation with your boyfriend. Don’t worry, he’s not dead. Yet.”**

Horror-struck, I looked at him fearfully. How can he do it to his own flesh and blood? I suppressed the urgency to wretch as bile rose in bile throat upon hearing what he just said.

* * *

** _Seungwoo’s POV…_ **

> ** _“I had to cover-up what he did. He was still my big brother and I don’t know what he would’ve done had I retaliated to him. So, I kept a close eye on him. He pretended to be Leo Oppa. He worked like him. We didn’t know he had been studying our books during his free time, at least the Taejin side does, because he didn’t give a damn about the company._ **
> 
> ** _“His obsession with Yoonhye got worse. He plotted for the two of you to break up, starting with the diary. He was the one who placed it in your car. Yoonhye left it one time in the doctors’ lounge and he found it. He almost tore the pages because it was filled with so much confession about how much she loves you and she didn’t feel like she deserves someone like you. _ **
> 
> ** _ “He got worse when he learned that you two broke up. He felt like his chance has finally come. Like he can finally make a move on Yoonhye, but she kept on declining his advances. Then after one fight with Jiyeon, she exploded and told him that you’re the only one for her. He saw the bruise on Yoonhye’s cheek so he pushed Jiyeon by the stairs.”_ **
> 
> _Dr. Krystal looked drained and as she closed her eyes, a tear fell from her eye._
> 
> ** _“The months passed and he got even more obsessed with her to the point that warned any of the male staff in the hospital to back away from her. Then that one night, he followed Yoonhye to the airport. He saw you two and you know the rest. I wanted to report him to the police, but he threatened me that he’ll kill Leo Oppa and I couldn’t allow that to happen. He has control of the company money so he can do so many things at his will. _ **
> 
> ** _“During the weeks you were recovering and Yoonhye was taking some time off from work to take care of you, he became almost insane. Taejin even exploded one time we were having dinner and I barely stopped him from doing something to the two of you again. I warned him that the police must be keeping a close eye on you since the culprit to your stabbing incident was still not found. Unable to relieve his anger, he struck me that night and I hit my head. I was unconscious for a few days. _ **
> 
> ** _“I woke up a few days ago and stayed home to recover. But then I heard from one of the staff that Yoonhye went back to work today. I called my brother and he was furious. He learned that the two of you are engaged. The Theo part of him snapped and all that was left in him was Taejin._ **
> 
> ** _“I knew that he was not gonna do anything good, so I reported to the police. I couldn’t take it anymore. My older brother was no longer there. No matter how much I begged him to stop himself, he wasn’t responding. I was the one who gave the tip about a plate number and the dash cam. The dash cam was mine. I was there that night.”_ **
> 
> _The female doctor was now crying. She has her face in her hands as she cried her heart out._
> 
> ** _“I’m sorry it has to come to this. But I couldn’t do anything. My brother’s life is on the line here. I can’t let Leo Oppa die.”_ **
> 
> ** _“Where is he?”_ ** _ I spoke for the first time since she started telling me everything. **“Where is your bastard of a brother?”**_
> 
> _She shook her head. **“Our family has so many villas all over Seoul and in the countryside. I have no idea where he could’ve taken her.”**_
> 
> _Fuck!_
> 
> ** _“Either you give me a list of your family villas right now or I just wasted my time coming here.”_ ** _ I turned to start walking out the door._
> 
> ** _“Chungcheongnam-do.”_ ** _ A raspy male voice spoke behind me._
> 
> ** _“Oppa…”_ ** _ I turned to see the eldest of the Jung siblings open his eyes. **“You’re awake.”**_
> 
> ** _“Sorry if I’ve been gone for so long.”_ ** _ The eldest Jung said weakly._
> 
> ** _“Oppa!”_ ** _ The youngest Jung burst into tears and hugged her older brother. **“I thought you’d never wake up.”**_
> 
> ** _“Calm down.” _ ** _Leo Jung smiled weakly at his younger sister as he patted her head. **“I’m here now. I’ll protect you.”**_
> 
> _He gave an apologetic look my way._
> 
> ** _“I’m sorry for my brother’s doing. He needs professional help.” _ ** _He cleared his throat. **“We have a villa in Taean-gun. We loved going there and we promised one another we’d bring the woman we want to spend our lives with to that place.”**_
> 
> ** _“Out of all your villas, why would he bring her there?”_ **
> 
> ** _“Because we spread our parents’ ashes in a pond near the villa. He’d want to introduce her to them if he’s gone this far in kidnapping her.”_ ** _ Leo Jung looked at his sister. **“Give him the exact address.”**_

_Present…_

I now have the piece of paper of the location of the said villa. Rage was an unpleasant feeling that I wanted to curse out in my head the other drivers who wouldn’t let me overtake them.

_I’m coming, Yoonhye. Hang in there, Baby. I'm coming._

My phone rang and I answered it via speaker.

> **“Hyung.”**
> 
> **“Seungwoo. We’ve found a lead. He’s gone outside Seoul two hours ago. He’s headed for–”**
> 
> **“Chungcheongnam-do.”** I cut him off.
> 
> **“How did you know?”** Donghae Hyung asked.
> 
> **“His family told me.”** I gave him the address exact address and Donghae hyung said he’d coordinate with the police from that area. **“I’m on my way.”**
> 
> **“Seungwoo, don’t go there alone. It might be dangerous. Don’t forget that this was the psychopath who stabbed you at the airport.”** I could hear the worry in his voice.
> 
> **“I know. But I have some people from my cousin’s agency who’s gonna follow me. I have to get there fast.”**

His words kept on ringing in my mind and I clenched the stirring wheel even tighter.

> _I’ll make sure to touch all of her. With my hands, lips and tongue. Every. Single. Part. Of. Her. Delectable. Body._

_Fuck this! I’ll tear him apart if he touches Yoonhye!_

> **“Be careful, Seungwoo.”** Donghae hyung said as I hang up the phone.

I lied though. I haven’t called Taecyeon Hyung yet. Had I contacted him first, it would’ve taken longer before he can arrange his team up. He would never allow me to go alone.

> **“Hyung.”**
> 
> **“Han Seungwoo, where in the hell are you?”**
> 
> _Oh, I’m in hell all right._ I thought wryly.
> 
> **“We’ve finally been able to locate the tracker on Yoonhye. She’s been taken to–”**
> 
> **“Taean-gu, Chungcheongnam-do.”** I said urgently. I gave him the address as well.
> 
> **“You’re on your way, aren’t you?”**
> 
> **“You know me well, Hyung.”**
> 
> **“Your stupid cousin is on the way to that place.”** I overheard someone from the background.
> 
> **“I knew you’d put a tracker on my car as well.”** I just know my cousin too well.
> 
> **“It’ll take a while before I can assemble my men, but we’ll take a chopper there. Be careful.”**
> 
> **“Tell Chansung Hyung I’ll put his training to good use this time.”** I hanged up the phone and focused on driving.

I know it would take at least an hour before he can assemble his men and he won’t be able to take as many of his men with him. I have to do something before something bad happens to Yoonhye.

* * *

** _Yoonhye’s POV…_ **

**“And that is why I brought you here. This place holds so much memories. It will hold so much more memories after I’m through with you.” **When he came closer, I struggled against the duct tape that bound me to the chair.

**“There’s no use in struggling, my dear. You just can’t escape me.”** He came near me and removed the tape around on my legs.

The moment my legs were freed, I kicked him in the groin and in the shin.

**“FUCK!”** He fell to the ground holding his groin.

I did a quick ducking move and the duct tape around my body snapped. I stood up to escape but a hand to my ankle stopped me and I fell forward.

I kicked him with my other foot and he let me go. I got up and headed for the glass door but fell back when someone came through it and backhanded me across the face, shocking me into silence as I fell to the floor.

I heard a thud and I saw the man who just hit me on the floor.

**“NO ONE CAN TOUCH MY WOMAN, UNDERSTAND?!” **I heard Taejin shout towards his men who have now gathered by the dor. **“NO ONE!”**

I flinched when he came near me.

**“It’s okay. It’s okay.”** He said towards me, and I can feel my cheek starting to feel sore. I’ve been hit twice now, and both by large men. **“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to brief them on what they can and cannot do. Guard the house! Make sure no one gets in or out.”**

He helped me get up before turning to the men by the door.

**“Kill him. No one gets to hurt my woman without paying for it.”**

There were at least a dozen burly men who dispersed after they took the guy who hit me with them. The guy was begging, but the men looked like they didn’t give a damn.

Taejin took hold of my shoulders and held them with a vise-grip. I was shaking. From the pain of being slapped, the terror, and the fear that I might not make it out of here alive. 

**“Now that you know that you can never escape this place, I suggest you try to be biddable. That way, your bruises won’t multiply.” **He pulled a handcuff from somewhere and cuffed both my wrists.

**“Please, let me go. I know you’re not really like this.”** I begged him. Maybe if I acted weak, he’ll let me go.

**“Oh, but sweetie, I really am like this.”** Taejin leaned close and held my chin in place. **“I’m a monster.”**

He laughed like a maniac as he dragged me upstairs while I struggled against his hold. He kicked open the door to a big room and my blood run cold as I saw the pictures in the room. They were all pictures of me.

**“Do you like them? I took them myself.”** Taejin sounded proud of the pictures.

While he looked proudly at the pictures on the walls, I stood there in horror as I recalled when he took some of them. One was in the female doctors’ quarter while I was sleeping. Another was when I was home in the apartment, the shot taken through my bedroom window. One was with Seungwoo dropping me off to work. Another one was when I was with Seungwoo’s mother in that café. Other random places that each gave me a new wave of terror at how this man had been truly obsessed with me.

**“This is my most favorite one.”** He pulled me by the hand and showed me a picture of myself while I was crying in that alley, on the rainy day I last saw Seungwoo before we met again at the airport. **“You looked so miserable, you almost brought tears to my eyes.”**

His mocking tone and his sinister smile renewed my anger and I elbowed him, but this time he was quick. He dodged my attack before squeezing me on the neck. Tears blurred my vision as I tried hard to breath despite his death-like hold.

**“I told you to be nice. But you’re not cooperating.”** Taejin’s hand relaxed at my throat and I sucked in deep breaths. My lungs burning from the sensation of being deprived of air and suddenly given the chance to be filled again.

He pushed me to the bed and I struggled once again, but a vicious slap almost cost me to lose my consciousness.

**“Stop struggling. You’ll only make it harder for you. For both of us.”** He tied my cuffed wrist to the bedpost making me totally immobile.

I was still dizzy from his last assault when he went to the side of the bed and pulled a steel rod with cuffs attached to each end. He placed one cuff on my left ankle and the other one in my right. My legs were spread apart and he pulled on the steel rod and I was stretched on the bed.

**“Please. Don’t do this.”** But it seems like the more I begged, the more he became determined to do what he planned on doing.

Taejin grabbed the bottom of my shirt and lifted it up until my bra-covered breasts were exposed to him.

**“NO! NO! STOP! NO!”** I screamed and struggled as best as I could, but his hand was on my neck again and squeezed until I was forced to quit.

I tried to scream, but no sound came out. Tears of rage blurred my vision as I felt his hand on my stomach and moved up to my breast. Only one thought came to my mind.

_I’m going to be violated tonight._

His hand loosened once again on my neck as I was allowed to breath. I tried to scream again, but my face stung as he hit me again. This time, much harder that I was enveloped in a haze of pain.

Taejin pulled at my bra until my breasts were displayed to him. He smiled like the maniac that he is before he fondled my breasts and then tweaked one nipple.

_No! NO!_

I was screaming in my mind as he continued his lewd groping on my body. His face came close to mine and before I could react, he was kissing me. Tears slipped over my battered cheeks. Never had I been so helpless in my life.

_Seungwoo, please save me._

His tongue was forcefully trying to enter my mouth, but I wouldn’t give him access. Taejin was persistent and when I opened my mouth, I bit his lip.

**“FUCK!”** He slapped me once again as he held his mouth, and this time the taste of blood was more evident. **“YOU BITCH!”**

**“I won’t go down without a fight!”** I screamed at him.

**“Let’s see how long you can last.”** He held my legs and was about to pull down my scrub suit pants when we heard a gunshot from the outside.

Taejin stopped what he was doing and one of the burly men from earlier came through the door.

**“Boss! There’s someone outside.”** The burly man said in a hurry.

**“What?!” **Taejin stood up and pulled my shirt down before turning angrily towards the man. **“Didn’t I tell you not to let anyone in or out of this house?!”**

**“But boss, he’s taken down five of my men.”**

**“What do you mean ‘he’? HE’S JUST ONE PERSON AND YOUR SORRY ASS FOR A SECURITY TEAM CAN’T HANDLE HIM?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”**

**“Seungwoo.”** I muttered in a hopeful voice. He’s here to save me. He found me.

More tears spilled from my eyes as relief flooded my body.

**“GO GET THAT SON OF A BITCH AND PUT HIS BODY IN THAT POOL OR IT’S YOUR BODY THAT WILL BE SWIMMING IN THAT SWIMMING POOL!”** Taejin pushed the man outside and turned back to me.

The sudden relief of knowing Seungwoo was here ceased to exist once again as he made his way towards me.

**“Now… where were we?”** Terror filled me again as he held my shirt’s hem and was about to pull it up when we heard a voice through a megaphone from outside.

**“This is the Taean-gun Police Department. We’ve got your house surrounded. Surrender now and let go of your hostage.”**

**“Fuck!”** He cursed as he got up and removed the snaps from the cuffs tied to my ankles. He untied my wrists from the bedpost, but I was still handcuffed. **“Get up! Let’s go!”**

Taejin dragged me with him as one of his men came across us in the hallway.

**“Boss, the police are here. The back door is still clear.”**

**“Oh really? I’m so shocked.” **He said in a mocking tone and punched the guy in the face. **“Give me your gun!”**

The man handed him the gun. He even stuffed a knife in his inner coat pocket and I know that this night won’t end without any blood being spilled.

**“Let’s go, My Dear. Let’s continue this elsewhere.”** His fingers twisted into my hair as he dragged me with him. My vision was starting to become blurry because my face was starting to swell up from all the abuse I received earlier. He dragged me downstairs and he headed for the back door.

Voices and shooting carried over to us from the front door. More noise from the back door was also heard and one of his men told him that the back door was no longer clear.

**“Boss, what do we do?”**

Taejin pulled my back flush against his chest before he positioned the barrel of the gun he was holding to my temple. Fear paralyzed my body as I listened to the sound of fighting surrounding us.

**“If I can’t have you, sweetheart, no one can.”** He spoke to my ear and I shook in fear as I realized what he wants to do.

I was dragged back to the living room where I wore up earlier. One of his men fell as a bullet tore through his throat.

**“I’ve got your beloved woman here, Han. If you don’t to see her brain adorn this living room, then I suggest you stop fighting and drop your weapons.”**

Seungwoo walked in, a gun in hand. Someone in a police uniform followed behind him.

**“Yoonhye.” **Seungwoo said calmly, but his face was a mask of fury as he assessed my battered state. **“Everything’s gonna be alright.”**

**“Let her go, Jung. It’s over.”** Seungwoo snarled. This was the first time I’ve seen him this mad. **“Your siblings already told me everything. They were the ones who told me you’d be here.”**

The barrel that was pointed to my head suddenly lost its contact with my temple.

**“Krystal doesn’t know about this place.”**

**“It was your older twin who told me.”**

**“Leo…”** Taejin staggered a bit, probably from the realization that the brother he tried to kill is now alive.

**“They agreed to become witnesses against you. It’s over. Let go of Yoonhye and maybe the court will have a bit of mercy on you.”**

**“Hah! Siblings. They never considered me as part of the family. They only saw me as a monster. They only saw me as a disposable liability.”** He wiped his face with the back of his hand that was holding the gun. **“And you took this angel from me.”**

**“She was never yours, Jung. Let her go.”**

Taejin licked my cheek and I almost threw up. **“She’s mine. You’ve hurt her before, and you’ll do it again.”**

Seungwoo took a step forward but then froze when the gun was placed against my temple again.

**“Put your guns down or I’ll shoot her then shoot myself.”**

To my horror, Seungwoo put his gun down along with the other police behind him.

**“Your fiancée tasted so good on my tongue, Han. So fucking good.”** Taejin turned me around so I was facing him. His breath hit my face and from the corner of my eye, I could see Seungwoo. I wish he’d look away. I don’t want him to see how this monster violates me in front of him.

I tried to lean back, but he grabbed me closer and my cuffed hands were suddenly sandwiched between us. He gripped my hips closer to his. As Taejin’s tongue started tracing my chin, my hands slipped into his coat until my fingers surrounded the knife he hid earlier. I reared my head back from his hold and banged my head to his. His hold on me loosened and I pulled the knife and drove it to his arm.

Taejin cried out as he stumbled backwards and all hell broke loose. Seungwoo ran through the room and pulled me against him. He already has a gun on his hand and shot one of the guys to the right. Bullets flew across the air and grunts and shouts covered my ears as one after one, Taejin’s men fell to the ground, groaning after being shot in the legs or arms, just enough to immobilize them. The ground was covered in blood and Seungwoo’s firm grasp kept me upright against him.

When he was out of bullets, he reached down to pull a gun from one of the fallen guys when Taejin suddenly sat up and pointed his gun at Seungwoo.

**“No!”** I cried out in warning as I pushed him forward and was blinded by pain when the bullet hit my shoulder. Seungwoo turned to Taejin and shot him. Seungwoo pulled me to him, but my vision turned black.

When I came to my senses, I could hear the siren of an ambulance and men groaning all around me. I was cradled in Seungwoo’s arms as he heard someone tell him to let me go.

**“Sir, we need to take her to the hospital.”**

**“Baby, you’ll be fine. I’m here. I’m here for you.” **He kept on saying to me, but I was starting to feel like I’m slipping away. **“Don’t you dare leave me.”**

**“You’re too late, Han! I’ve already had a taste of her! I’VE TAKEN HER INNOCENCE! YOU WILL NEVER GET TO BE HER FIRST! SHE’S NO LONGER PURE!”**

I heard a loud crashing sound and commotion, but I was so out of it.

**“I’ll kill you, you fucking bastard!”** Was that Seungwoo? I wasn’t sure anymore.

> _I’ve already taken her innocence!_
> 
> _You will never get to be her first!_
> 
> _She’s no longer pure!_

And I succumbed to the darkness that has been pulling me.

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 more chapters. We're almost there. I hope you didn't get confused with the story-telling part.
> 
> I can't believe for the first time in more than 10 years, I'm gonna be able to complete a story again.


	23. Hate That I Love You - 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say not knowing is bliss... but not always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have two more chapters to go. I'm having sepanx with this story. HELP! haha

**Hate That I Love You – 23**

**By:**

**SuJuX1’s Trash**

** _Seungwoo’s POV…_ **

I sighed as I held Yoonhye’s hand and looked at her badly bruised face. Her left eye was swollen, her cheeks have bruises shadowing her face. There were also the marks from the handcuffs used to hold her captive. Hell, I could even see the hand marks around her neck. My jaws tightened in rage as I continued assessing the assault that she had to endure in those few hours she’d been kidnapped.

How was she able to endure such brutality? Worse, just how much had been done to her? Had she been violated?

_I’ve already taken her innocence!_

_You will never get to be her first!_

_She’s no longer pure!_

I almost lurched at that psychotic Jung’s words before he was taken to an ambulance. I know he’s somewhere in this hospital. The only thing stopping me from going to find and kill that bastard is the thought of missing seeing Yoonhye waking up.

My hand trembled as I reached out to caress her cheek.

_Shit! Was I really too late?_

She looks so vulnerable lying in that hospital bed. Badly beaten and lying unconscious. It’s been three days since that incident and she hasn’t woken up. The operation was successful, I was sure of it. Dr. Kim happened to live in Taean and I immediately called him up when I learned the name of the hospital that they were going to take Yoonhye to.

Luckily, he’s an affiliated doctor in the said hospital and he was the one who operated on Yoonhye. He assured me that she’ll be fine and that she’s just probably resting for now.

** _“It wasn’t easy, what she just went through. Once she wakes up, you will need to be very careful with her. We’re not sure just how much was done to her. It’s best to be prepared for the worst.”_ **

Fury sizzled like a whip through my body.

**“Please wake up, Baby. I’m here. I won’t leave you. I found you.”** I said and bowed my head, praying for her to wake up.

**“Hey, Seungwoo, you got a minute?” **I looked back to Yoonhye’s Dad when he called me.

I nodded and took one last look at Yoonhye again.

**“Don’t worry, Seungwoo. If anything happens, I’ll call you two immediately.”** Yoonhye’s mom gave me a reassuring smile before patting my back.

We left the room and headed for the rooftop. Seeing Yoonhye’s Dad this serious, I can already imagine what the conversation will be about.

He turned to look at me after I have closed the door we just went through.

**“Seungwoo.” **Mr. Park took a deep breath.

**“I’m not breaking up with your daughter, _Samchon_.”** I looked him straight in the eyes as I said those words. **“And I’m not taking back my ring.”**

**“But, Seungwoo…”** He sighed. It was as hard for him as it was for me. We were both thinking the same thing.

_What will happen once she wakes up? _

_What will happen once she regains consciousness and remembers all those horrible things that had been done to her?_

_What if she had been truly violated?_

I closed my eyes and clenched my fists as I tried to keep myself calm.

**“If she really has been…”** _Fuck!_ I can’t even say it! **“It doesn’t matter. I love Yoonhye and she loves me. It’s all that matters to me. No matter what happened that night, nothing will change.”**

Yoonhye’s Dad took a deep breath and his eyes glistened.

I took a step forward and hugged the older man. He hugged me back and he was suddenly shaking.

**“I thought I would lose my daughter.”**

_I thought I would lose your daughter too, Samchon._

Samchon was never the emotional type. I heard that when Yoonhye would break down in tears during our breakup, he’d quietly console her. When we got to the hospital three days ago, Yoonhye’s mom was frantic, but her dad had been a rock for everyone, including me.

Now, he’s the one who needed the support and I’m glad I was able to help Yoonhye’s Dad. She won’t be happy to know that her dad was crying.

He gathered himself and wiped his tears. Mr. Park also cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

**“Thank you, Seungwoo.”** I smiled at him.

**“No, _Samchon. _Thank you.”** He looked confused so I explained further. **“For trusting your daughter with me, one more time, even though I wasn’t able to protect her.”**

**“None of this is your fault, Seungwoo. Both of you were victims of unwarranted circumstances.”** He was back to being the calm and composed Mr. Park the I know. **“Nobody would’ve thought that she’d get kidnapped.”**

We stood by the side of the rooftop and looked at the distance.

**“It’s okay if you’ll back out of the wedding. There hasn’t even been any plans yet.”**

_Why do you keep on discouraging me?_

I thought to myself, but I didn’t say it out loud. I know he just wanted to make sure I won’t leave Yoonhye after saying I’ll stand by her.

**“Pure or not, she’s still the woman I love. Nothing has and will ever change that fact. I have loved her for so many years. An incident like that won’t change the fact that I love Yoonhye and that I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”**

Mr. Park nodded. **“The police are still asking if we’d like to have her tested.”**

**“I think we’ll have to wait for Yoonhye’s decision on that matter.”**

**“Mr. Park. Seungwoo. She’s awake!”**

* * *

** _Yoonhye’s POV…_ **

I’m walking in the hospital as I did my rounds. Surprisingly, there weren’t many patients admitted. I went to the nurse’s station and saw Dr. Jung. I froze as he lifted a gun towards my direction. Once he pulled the trigger, a shadow passed by me and the shadow groaned in pain as it fell to the ground.

**“I’m glad you’re safe, Baby.”** I stood in horror as I saw Seungwoo lying on the ground.

I was about to go to him when Dr. Jung pulled me with him.

**“Let me go! He’s hurt! He’s bleeding!”** I thrashed around and kicked him, but he evades every attack I make towards his way.

**“You’re mine! ONLY MINE!”** Dr. Jung screamed like a lunatic and he slapped me and placed me on top of a bed.

**“You’re gonna be mine. I will take your innocence. I will be your first. You won’t be the pure bride that Han Seungwoo is supposed to bring to church to marry. He will look at you with disgust. You will never be the same again!”** He started groping at me and I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t move. I was tied up. I tried to break free from whatever it was that was holding me captive but to no avail.

His hands started traveling to my legs and I couldn’t fight back.

**“NO! NO! NOOOOO!!!”** I was in pain as I continued on thrashing around, wanting to break free. **“LET ME GO!!”**

**“Yoonhye, Sweetie. It’s okay. You’re safe.”** I heard my mom’s voice, but I couldn’t see her. It hurt to try to open my eyes.

**“Please let me go!”** I cried as I tried to break free again and my shoulder felt like it was on fire.

**“Yoonhye, please.”** I heard my mom sob and more voices suddenly came.

**“Yoonhye.”** Was that Dad?

**“Baby.”** I was faint, but I was sure who it was.

Seungwoo.

He’s okay. He’s here to save me.

**“Seungwoo.”** I called out as I sobbed.

I was gathered in his arms as I cried harder when I felt the familiar warmth from his body.

**“You’re here.”** I wailed in his chest. **“You’re okay. You’re here.”**

**“Yes, Baby. I’m here.”** He cooed at me as he held me close. **“You’re safe.”**

**“Thank God… you’re… here.”** I murmured, but the pull was back and I slipped away again.

* * *

** _Seungwoo’s POV…_ **

** **

I laid Yoonhye back on the bed as she slipped back to unconsciousness after being sedated.

_She’s finally awake! _

**“This is what I feared. It’s not the physical trauma we should be worried about.”** Dr. Kim said as he looked forlornly at Yoonhye’s sleeping figure. **“I’ll call a friend of mine in Seoul. I think it’s better if we have her transferred there.”**

Yoonhye’s parents went out of the room with Dr. Kim to process her transfer. Now that she’s physically stable, we can move her to a hospital in Seoul.

I examined her injured shoulder. No signs of bleeding anywhere. At least, despite her being out of control earlier, her stitches didn’t open.

**“I’m here, Baby. You’re safe.”** I whispered to her before kissing her forehead.

* * *

**“Seungwoo.”** I woke up when I felt a hand on my head.

I immediately got up and looked at her as her hand dropped back to the bed.

**“Are you okay?” **Yoonhye asked me.

I frowned at her question. I should be the one asking her that.

Dr. Kim told me to be careful with my words and to take things slow.

**“Yeah. I’m okay.”** I smiled at her. **“How are you?”**

She tried to move her body and winced. **“I ache everywhere. But the worst is the shoulder.”**

**“Do you want some morphine?” **I asked her as I motioned to the medicine on one of the IV stands beside her bed.

She shook her head.** “It’s okay. I can still handle it.”** But the motion made her wince again, and I wasn’t going to let her go through pain again.

**“It’s been a few hours since your last dose. I’ll just call the nurse.”** I was about to stand up when she suddenly held my hand.

**“Don’t go.”** And she winced because of her sudden movement.

**“Ya. Don’t move so much.” **I scolded her but I sighed when I saw the deep frown she had on her face.

**“Don’t leave me.”** Her hand on mine held on tighter, and I realized what was happening. Now, I’m afraid Dr. Kim was right.

**“I won’t. I promise. I’m here, Baby.”** I turned my hand and held her hand in both mine before smiling reassuringly as her.

I stood up, but I squeezed her hand in one of mine to assure her I wasn’t going anywhere, before I leaned over and pressed the call button for the nurse.

**“Dr. Kim said we can now transfer you to a hospital in Seoul. They’re already arranging the papers for your transfer.”** I informed her.

Yoonhye nodded before asking how long she’d been out. I told her it’s been a couple of days, but Dr. Kim said it’s normal since she’s lost a lot of blood and just underwent major surgery to remove the bullet from her shoulder.

**“How are Mom and Dad?”**

**“They’re fine. They got here as soon as you were taken to this hospital.”**

**“How are you? Were you hurt?”**

**“No. I wasn’t hurt, thanks to you.”**

**“That’s good.”** And then she sighed.

_Damn!_

I hate how casual our conversation is. It shouldn’t be like this. Not this way. Not the way she’s the one asking if everyone around her is okay. We’re the one who’s supposed to ask her if she’s okay, not the other way around. She was the one who had been kidnapped, not us. She was the one who had to suffer from abuse, not us. She’s the one who is suffering, not us. But then why is she acting as if she didn’t go through so much trauma?!

**“Hey. You okay? You look mad.”**

**“I’m–”** I was cut-off when the nurse and Dr. Kim along with Yoonhye’s parents came back to the room. I stepped back to give some way for Dr. Kim.

Dr. Kim started doing his routine check-up procedure. He told Yoonhye of the do’s and don’ts and to not overexert or stress herself while she’s still recovering. They said they’ll transfer her to Seoul later this afternoon. They’re bringing her to the hospital where I was working at.

**“Now, Yoonhye.”** Dr. Kim sounded more serious than usual, and I think I know where this is going. I dread this moment, but we have to know.

**“We’ve heard some things from the one who kidnapped you. We need to know what really happened so that we can do further examination.**”

The room fell silent as we all looked at Yoonhye. Her eyes wavered as she tried to recall what happened that dreadful night. Her expression became more shuttered as the seconds ticked. Each second felt like a stab to my heart because she looks so helpless. I wanted to go to her, but a hand stopped me from taking a step. I looked back to Yoonhye’s Dad as he shook his head.

I looked back to see Yoonhye’s battered and swollen eyes fill with tears.

**“I don’t know.”** She looked lost as tears spilled from her eyes. **“I can’t remember.”**

* * *

We’ve transferred Yoonhye to the hospital where I work at in Seoul. The police in Taean-gun have coordinated everything with the police from Seoul and they said they’ll work hand in hand to put Jung Taejin behind bars. We’ve got enough evidence against him now, even without the proof of Yoonhye having been violated.

Her parents didn’t want her to think about the police case that was going on, so they declined having her tested for possible sexual assault. They pursued the kidnapping and physical assault she received. It’s been days since she’s been transferred, but she barely gets any sleep at all. She’s usually just staring into space when she thinks no one’s looking. She became like this ever since we’ve realized she’d developed selective amnesia.

Dr. Kim’s friend recommended that we don’t put any pressure on her about remembering what happened. Personally, I never want her to remember what happened. She can only remember until the time she woke up at the villa in Taean and the rest was blank. That was the first and last time we asked her about what happened.

As much as possible, I didn’t want her to rehash the things that happened repeatedly. I even had a fight with the police about them asking Yoonhye the same questions, over and over again. Turns out Jung concocted a story that Yoonhye was the one who approached him and gave him signals that she wants to be with him and that what happened wasn’t kidnap but was elopement. I know it was protocol for them to confirm with her, but I think no one actually believes his story. I still wanted to tear him to pieces.

I opened the door to her room after getting a cup of coffee, only to find the room empty. A sudden feeling of panic pricked my spine as I checked the whole room, even the bathroom, but she wasn’t there. I ran outside and told the nurses what happened. They called the security while I started searching for her on my own.

I searched every floor and every department, but she couldn’t be found.

_Where are you, Park Yoonhye?_

* * *

** _Yoonhye's POV..._ **

I’m here at the rooftop. I wanted to be alone. I decided to give everyone a break because they were like walking on egg shells around me. They were already careful with me on my transfer from Taean to Seoul, but after being diagnosed with selective amnesia due to post-traumatic stress, they started acting like I was some porcelain glass who will break at the slightest touch.

It’s a good thing the rooftop had a bench near the side, so I didn’t have to stand for a long period of time as I stayed here. My face was a lot better and my body wasn’t aching that much anymore, that’s why I was able to climb up the stairs, but my shoulder was still killing me a bit and I don’t think standing up for too long will help ease the pain. I looked up at the sky and stared at the stars.

There were so many stars tonight, probably because the moon isn’t out that’s why I can see them better despite being in the city. Whenever I had problems, the stars always calmed me. I don’t know why. Aside from the lake at the _Thinking Spot_ near my parents’ home, I always go to the rooftop to think. I sighed as I tried to recall what happened. I listed them in my head.

  1. I was kidnapped.
  2. I was shot with a tranquilizer gun while trying to run away.
  3. I woke up in a luxurious villa in the middle of nowhere.
  4. I learned that my respected sunbae had a lunatic twin brother and the said lunatic brother was the one who kidnapped me.
  5. I…

I sighed, frustrated that I can’t remember what happened after that. The last thing I remember was trying to escape and I got hit by one of Taejin’s bodyguards, after that, it’s all blank. I couldn’t even remember how I was rescued by Seungwoo and the police. I do remember the pain in my shoulder when I got shot.

I massaged my temples. Trying to remember what happened makes my head ache. My parents, the doctors and even the police didn’t want to pressure me to try and remember. Seungwoo seemed so against me trying to remember what happened at all. He said he didn’t want and need me to remember what else happened.

_But I want to know._ I thought to myself. I have to know what happened during those moments where I lost my memories.

_Had I really been… violated?_

I remember Taejin’s words in my nightmare before I woke up.

_I will take your innocence. _

_I will be your first._

_You won’t be the pure bride that Han Seungwoo is supposed to bring to church to marry. _

_He will look at you with disgust. _

_You will never be the same again!_

My eyes pooled with tears. I know it was just a dream, but what if the reason why I had that dream, why I have some memories missing… was because I really had been violated.

The wind suddenly blew hard, and my scarf got dislodged from my neck. I used it to hide the bruises I had on my neck.

**“Ah, _jinjja._”** I sighed as the scarf got caught in the pole by the edge of the rooftop, still lucky it didn't fly off the building.

I stood up to try and get it before the wind totally blows it away. I stretched my uninjured arm as I tried to grab the scarf, but I couldn’t reach it because the wind was blowing slightly and it keeps on moving away from my grasp. I looked around and saw a stool by the side. I carried it to the place where the scarf was close by and took a deep breath as I stood on it to try reaching the scarf.

I gasped when I felt a pair of strong arms suddenly surround my middle and pull me back. We fell to the ground, with the person underneath me and the other person’s arms surround me protectively.

**“Oww.”** I groaned when I felt a tinge on my injured shoulder.

**“Are you okay?”** Came the familiar worried voice of the person beneath me.

**“Yeah. I’m fine.”** I told him and I pushed off him as he sat up.

**“You?”**

**“No, I'm not.”** Seungwoo said grimly and I saw his jaw clench. **“How can I be okay when you almost took ten years from my life just now?! WHAT WERE YOU DOING?! WERE YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING STUPID?!”**

Seungwoo was shouting. My ever calm and soft-spoken Seungwoo was actually shouting at me.

I just blinked my eyes. I couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening. He was mad at me and he just shouted at me.

**“I was going to get my scarf. It got stuck there.”** I said as I pointed towards my scarf, still not understanding why he was this angry. I understand he could be angry about me suddenly leaving my room, but not to this degree where he looked so angry and… scared.

Seungwoo looked at the direction where I pointed and sighed in relief as he stood up and helped me stand up as well. He easily grabbed the scarf from the wretched pole and carefully wrapped it around my neck. Seungwoo suddenly enveloped me in his arms, and he was… shaking.

**“Hey. Are you okay?” **I asked him as I wrapped my arms around him as well.

**“You scared me.” **Seungwoo said shakily. **“I thought you’d gone missing again.”**

I patted his back as I tried to hold my tears. **“I’m here. Don’t worry.”**

Seungwoo shook even more, and I heard a sob escape from his lips. Oh God, he’s crying. Did he think I was going to jump off the building?

**“Hey, I’m okay.”** I tried to pull away, to get a better look at him, but he wouldn’t budge. And so, I stroked his back. **“Shhh.”**

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Even though I was the one kidnapped, I wasn’t the only one who suffered in those hours I was in captivity. The people around me and the people who cared for me must’ve suffered as well. As I thought that I might lose them, they must’ve thought the same thing.

**“Yoonhye, you’re here.”** I heard my Dad’s voice, and I saw him put an arm around Mom’s shoulders.

They both looked harried and relieved at the same time.

**“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to ask for permission to go out.”**

**“I thought I lost you.”** Seungwoo said as he cleared his throat.

**“You won’t lose me. I promise.”**

* * *

It’s been weeks and I had been finally discharged from the hospital. Of course, Seungwoo asked my parents if I could live with him in his apartment. My parents agreed since they’re barely in the country because of a business meeting and they want someone to look over me as I continued healing. Plus, they said we’re already engaged so there’s no problem with us living together under one roof.

Seungwoo wanted to take a vacation leave from his hospital so he could take care of me, but I told him I’ll be fine and that he needs to make up for the work he missed when he was injured.

**“Call me, no matter what happens. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me.”** Seungwoo said as he prepared for work.

_God, he looks good in a white coat._

**“If I need anything, I can call my friends from next door. I’m sure they can’t wait to baby me.”** I said wryly as I fixed his tie.

**“Promise me you won’t strain yourself.”** He held my face in his hands and looked at me intently.

**“And promise me you won’t worry too much. Focus on work.”** I tiptoed to give him a peck. **“You can think of me on your break time.”**

**“But I always worry about you.”**

I hooked my uninjured arm around his neck. I held his face with my other hand.

**“Don’t worry. I won’t do anything that will cause you worry.”** I pulled his face towards mine and planted a soft kiss on his lips. A reassuring one, just to ease his worries. He pulled me closer to him as he responded to my kiss.

**“I love you.”** Seungwoo said as our foreheads touched and our lips parted.

**“I love you.” **

* * *

**“NO!” **My own shout woke me up from my endless nightmare.

I was drenched in sweat and my heart is pounding. Seungwoo was hugging me and saying words to soothe me. I tried to focus my eyes in the darkness.

**“You’re here. You’re safe.”** Seungwoo repeated over and over. **“No harm will come to you ever again. I’m here.”**

I hugged him back as tears spilled from my eyes. Ever since that horrible day, I never had any decent night’s sleep. Nightmare’s would always wake me in the middle of the night. I’d be crying and shaking violently until I realized that I was awake and was safe in Seungwoo’s arms.

**“I’m sorry.”** I told him as I continued sobbing.

**“What are you sorry for?”** he asked me, but he was still stroking my back, trying to calm me down.

I wasn’t the only one losing any sleep over my nightmares. Seungwoo would immediately be awake the moment he felt my restlessness. It’s the reason why he doesn’t take night shifts at the hospital. He wants to be with me when night-time came, just so he’d be there to when I get roused by the nightmares.

**“You’re losing sleep because of me.”** I told him as I touched his face. He had to stay up late and wake up early the next day for work.

**“I’m not losing any sleep.” **Seungwoo smiled gently at me. **“I like looking at you sleep.”**

I smiled sadly at him. **“Until I scream and kicked around crying for help.”**

**“What’s a little kicking from a tiny person like you?”** He tried to lighten up the mood, but I was still somber. He held my chin and kissed me on the lips, which I responded to eagerly. **“If you’re really guilty about keeping me up, why not cook a _dosirak _for me to take to work?”**

I nodded as I hugged him and tucked my face into his neck. **“I’m so lucky to have you, please know that.”**

**“And I’m lucky to have you, Park Yoonhye.”** He continued on hugging me as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The dreadful day that I didn’t want to happen arrived. It was the day I had to testify against Taejin in court. I never thought I’d have to see him again, face to face. Seungwoo was with me along with my parents. Multiple cases are being filed against him: one is from me for the kidnapping and physical assault, another from Seungwoo for him getting stabbed, one from Jiyeon for pushing her by the stairs, and another one from Dr. Leo Jung.

I took a deep breath as I looked at the steps that will take me to the dreadful room where I will meet the demon in my nightmares again. I looked at my hand, that was shaking, when Seungwoo held mine.

**“Don’t worry. You’ve got me.”** He pulled me towards him and kissed the top of my head. **“You don’t have to try remembering anything you don’t want to. Your doctor is there to help you.”**

I nodded and we headed towards the courtroom assigned for our case.

**“May we call on Miss Park Yoonhye to the witness stand?”** I looked at my parents and Seungwoo and they nodded at me.

I went to the witness stand and they made take an oath that I will only say the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God. I didn’t want to look in Taejin’s direction, but as I followed his attorney’s movements, my eyes suddenly landed on him. I immediately redirected my eyes when I saw him smiling at me.

**“Miss Park, my client is claiming that you weren’t kidnapped and that you willingly went with him. Is that true?”**

I scoffed at his lawyer’s statement. **“No. I did not come with him willingly. I was shot with a dart gun. How is that willingly coming with him?”**

**“Miss Park, I’m the lawyer here, not you. I will be the one asking questions.”** The lawyers brushed off my statement. **“But he said you’re into those kinds of kidnapping things. Kind of like a kink. It’s something you two lovers were in agreement with.”**

**“What?!”** I was really outraged!

The prosecutor objected and the judge overruled his objection.

**“Please answer the question, Miss Park.”**

**“I am not into those kind of things. I didn’t role play that kidnapping. I was kidnapped. I did not come willingly with him.”**

**“But you willingly came with him to an empty parking lot so late at night.”**

**“Objection, your Honor-”**

**“Overruled.”**

**“Tell us, Miss Park. Tell this court why you willingly came to an underground parking lot with your so-called kidnapper.”**

**“Objection, your Honor. She could’ve come to that empty parking lot, thinking that the defendant just wanted to simply talk. The defendant’s attorney is clearly insinuating things where he has no clear evidence of.” **This time, the objection was sustained.

My head was reeling from all the question his attorney had. All saying that we had something and that I willingly came with him. That I was a masochist that’s why he beat me up. That I was faking my selective amnesia. My head was starting to throb from the stress this court session was giving me.

I was drained by the time I got out of the witness stand. Seungwoo was immediately by my side and had his protective arms around me.

**“Seungwoo-ya…”**

**“I’m here.”** He said to me, and I nodded at him.

**“DON’T TOUCH HER!”** We turned around and found out Taejin was the one who just shouted. **“SHE’S MINE! DON’T TOUCH HER!”**

His attorney tried to calm him down, but he just pushed away the said man and started walking towards us. Taejin was stopped by two bailiffs.

**“Order in court! Bailiff bring that man back to his seat!”**

Taejin was still fighting them as he tried to swing his arms around, only to have them put in handcuffs.

**“Let me go! I need to go to my woman.”** He continued on screaming.

Seungwoo’s hold on me became tighter. My head started hurting even more as I started trembling in Seungwoo’s arms.

**“Don’t you know I’ve already touched her? I’ve already violated her! I’ve already taken her virginity!”** He continued shouting.

**“This session will be continued once the defendant calms down. You better talk with your client.”**

My ears started ringing as the pain in my head intensified. Memories of me being tied up and in handcuffs suddenly came crashing down like an avalanche. Memories of him lifting my shirt and me on top of the bed, leg spread.

**“Ah!”** I clutched my head as it throbbed even worse that I felt like it’s splitting in half.

**“Yoonhye!”**

I started panting as my vision started to spin. I blinked multiple times, hoping the dizziness will subside, but to no avail. I clutched my head and I suddenly felt very light.

**“Yoonhye!”**

* * *

> ** _“NO! NO! STOP! NO!”_ ** _ I screamed and struggled as best as I could, but his hand was on my neck again and squeezed until I was forced to quit._
> 
> _I tried to scream, but no sound came out. Tears of rage blurred my vision as I felt his hand on my stomach and moved up to my breast. Only one thought came to my mind._
> 
> _I’m going to be violated tonight._
> 
> _His hand loosened once again on my neck as I was allowed to breath. I tried to scream again, but my face stung as he hit me again. This time, much harder that I was enveloped in a haze of pain._
> 
> _Taejin pulled at my bra until my breasts were displayed to him. He smiled like the maniac that he is before he fondled my breasts and then tweaked one nipple._
> 
> _No! NO!_
> 
> _I was screaming in my mind as he continued his lewd groping on my body. His face came close to mine and before I could react, he was kissing me. Tears slipped over my battered cheeks. Never had I been so helpless in my life._
> 
> _Seungwoo, please save me._

**“Seungwoo.”** I muttered as tears continued to fall.

**“I’m here, Baby. I’m here.”** I felt the same warm hands that I always longed to touch. The hands that made me feel safe.

I felt those hands move from my hand to my face.

**“Don’t cry. You’re safe.”** I tried to open my eyes and all I saw was blinding light.

I blinked a couple of times before I saw a very worried Seungwoo beside me and my equally worried parents behind him.

**“Where am I?”** I asked Seungwoo as I looked around the room where I was in.

**“We brought you to a hospital. You fainted earlier. Do you remember what happened?”**

I swallowed before nodding. **“I just finished testifying against Taejin. He caused a chaos and then my head started hurting.”**

**“Do you remember anything that he said?”** Seungwoo said carefully, his hold on my hand tightening.

**“Yes.”**

My Mom suddenly started sobbing and my Dad engulfed her in his arms. I sighed shakily and looked at my hand, the one where the ring Seungwoo gave me to propose to me was placed and the diamond glimmered against the sunlight.

I didn’t want to do this, but I have to. I know I promised him I won’t do this to him again, but… I have to. I’m no longer the woman he loved. I’m no longer the woman he was supposed to bring to the altar, untouched.

**“Umma, Appa… can you leave me and Seungwoo alone for a while?”** My Mom hesitated, but Dad coaxed her into leaving the room with him.

**“Seungwoo-ya–”**

**“I already know what you’re going to say, but the answer is no.”** Seungwoo’s grip on my hand became tighter, it was like he was trying to control his anger. **“Not this time, Park Yoonhye. I won’t allow you to overthink things right. Not right now.”**

**“But Seungwoo–”**

**“I already said no.”** He took hold of my chin and made me look at him. **“Even without you saying it, I can already feel what you’re going to say. I’ve had this feeling when you broke up with me the first time.”**

Seungwoo stared directly into my eyes, conveying his sincerity as best as he can, that my heart felt like it was breaking into pieces. He had to hold himself back for so many times when we were alone together, because he made a promise with my Dad. That he won’t touch me before we got married. But all of that has changed now, because I’ve been violated.

**“Seungwoo, you’re not understanding anything. I’ve already been violated.”** My voice cracked as I said the last words. **“I’m no longer the pure untouched Park Yoonhye you know.”**

Seungwoo closed his eyes and shook his head. **“I thought you said you don’t remember anything?”** he said brokenly.

**“I just remembered. Every horrid second of that moment. The way his hands groped me while I was handcuffed to the bedpost. The way he kissed me… it makes me feel dirty.”** Tears spilled from my eyes as I told him what happened. **“Seungwoo, he was telling the truth. He had violated me.”**

Seungwoo pulled me to him as the two of us cried silently for the other. He was crying for what I had gone through. I was crying for him because of what I was going to put him through.

**“If only I hadn’t been late that night.”** I shook my head. He can’t think like what happened to me was his fault.

**“It’s not your fault. One way or another, he could’ve done what he did. It was only a matter of time before he made his move on me.” **I sobbed. **“Never blame yourself for what happened to me, because none of it was your fault.”**

**“Then who should I blame for you doing this?”** Hearing his fear-stricken voice lanced my heart. **“I know what you’re going to say. You want to break up with me.”**

**“It’s because I’m no longer the Park Yoonhye you know.”**

Seungwoo suddenly pulled away and wiped his tears.

**“Know this Park Yoonhye. No matter what happened that day, I don’t give a fucking damn.”** I was silenced because he cursed. **“You are still the Park Yoonhye I love and will marry. Nothing will ever change the fact that I love you so much and I won’t leave you, ever.”**

**“Seungwoo-ya…”** My tears continued to fall one after another with his words.

**“I don’t care what other people say. Because to me, you are the only Park Yoonhye in my life. My only best friend. The only woman I’ll love in this lifetime and the next. The only woman whom I want to get married to and wake up to each day in the morning, seeing your beautiful smile as you say good morning to me each day. The only woman I want to have children with. The only woman I won’t give up on, even if it costs me my life.”**

**“Ya.”** I immediately held his hands when he said the last part. **“Don’t ever talk about putting your life on the line again.”**

**“Then don’t talk about breaking up with me again.”** Seungwoo was more determined now. **“Those months without you felt like I was in hell. You can just kill me if you'll break up with me again.”**

I sobbed even more. **“I’m sorry.”**

Seungwoo pulled me in his arms again, this time he climbed beside me on the bed, perfectly cocooning me in his big frame. Being in his arms felt like I was protected, like no harm was going to come to me, like everything just felt right.

**“You don’t have to say sorry.”** He tried to say in a soothing voice but he had to clear his throat.

**“Everything seems so… wrong. Our timings really just… don’t feel right.”** He kissed me on my forehead. **“I feel…dirty.”**

**“Then we’ll just make things right.”** Seungwoo kissed my eyelids.

**“You’re the purest person I know. Your purity is measured by the goodness in your heart not by what standards and other people say. I’ll make you forget you ever had to go through something like that. I’ll make you forget it even happened. But I won’t be able to do that alone.” **He kissed my nose.** “We need to do it together.”**

This was Seungwoo I was talking to. My best friend. The man who didn’t give up of me when I broke his heart. The man who has loved me for more than half of our lives. I was offering him a clean break, but he didn’t want any of that. He wanted to be with me. Pure or not, he still wants me.

**“Together.”** I murmured as I tipped my head upwards and met his lips halfway in a gentle and reassuring kiss. A kiss that held so many emotions. Emotions like reassurance that he won’t leave me. That he was really willing to stay with me. That I will no longer succumb to my inner fears and that I will learn to deal with them, with him.

This time, I will take another leap. Another leap of faith but not alone. This time, I was with the man I love. The man I am willing to spend the rest of my life with. The one who is willing to be with me despite all of my imperfections.

This time, no matter how different we are from another, I’m now sure that the we will be there to bridge that gap for one another. As long as we don’t let go of each other’s hands, we can make it through anything.

** _To be continued…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 2 more and we're finally done! ^^


End file.
